Timetoheal12

I thought I was finally over him but , to be completely honest, I've been missing him the last couple of days. What is going on with me?
Why do I miss him and feel as if I ruined something that could have been amazing?

SparkleKitty

Grief is not a linear thing. Small things trigger us, months after we think we are "healed". We experience loneliness, our heart turns to the familiar. It's natural. We accept blame for situations that are unresolved, because it is uncomfortable to accept that things that happened to and around us aren't anyone's fault, or that someone else is in too much denial to accept their responsibility for a situation that turned sour.

The best thing you can do right now is let go of self-judgment and allow yourself to feel whatever it is you feel without criticism, and resisting the compulsion to "fix" it. Sometimes accepting our feelings is the only thing that allows us to release them.

Hugs. You're okay.

FeelingGreat

It takes time to heal; are the good days beating the bad days? When you have bad days think about yourself; are you stressed over something else, maybe hungry or tired?
Recovering As like me know that when you're feeling down the reflex is to want your former source of comfort, but the fix may be as simple as eating something, or going for a walk.

Liveitwell

There is nothing wrong with you...feel it...whatever it is....it does take time - I tell myself these same things as I still hurt and have my moments!!! I do understand how you feel-I felt like I ruined something that could have been amazing for a long time-but in reality it had not been amazing for a long time (it started out amazing)...and really, I didn't want amazing-I wanted real...the good stuff. Anyway, to have amazing or real or whatever, you have to have both people giving their all-addiction doesn't allow that. It steals it-by the very nature of the disease. I know for myself, I was hoping for a future that was not based in reality-bc I was in denial for so long and didn't want to believe my husband was an alvoholic-reality is and was, I did not ruin anything - the future was not going to be amazing with him as an alcoholic, in fact I know it would have gotten much worse. That's reality, friend. Sorry if I'm being harsh-not meaning to at all.

Love and peace to you

ShootingStar1

For me, my emotions were like a spiral - I'd go through grief, anger, loss, freedom, joy, then back into guilt and grief... The difference was that each time I truly let myself experience what I felt, I would let go a little more and the intensity and duration of the feelings of loss, the next time, would be lessened.

Now, at three years out of a 20 year marriage, I am as happy as I have ever been. That freedom and joy is out there for you, too.

ShootingStar1