hopeforrecovery

I've been married to my addicted husband for 31 years. First year of our marriage he drug of choice was meth. Did rehab for 30 days and was sober for about 18 years. Some where after that he started using
prescription drugs and abused them. When he could no longer get pills he switched to drinking. Had several years sober when he had a GI bleed. He was diagnosised with alcoholic liver cirrhosis. Even after that he relapsed several times. Last October he was in really bad shape and was just about to be placed on the transplant list but he drank and this time it was way more severe than any other times. He did inpatient rehab again and came out committed and did what he had to do.
He was listed for transplant and about two months later had a major GI bleed and almost bled out. Drs. got him stabilized and on June 7, he got a liver. All was well up till this past Thurs when he slipped, just 18 days shy of a year. He admitted to me, and of course, I knew the behaviour, just didn't want to believe it.
Today he told his surgical team and they are having him admitted to inpatient tomorrow. He has made two meetings today and goes into rehab tomorrow. I have stuck it out all this time but am now wondering what my next move will be. I know he can acheive soberity and life can be chaos free just don't know where this will take him or me.

Kboys

((((hopeforrecovery))))
Glad you're here, and we do all understand.
"I have stuck it out all this time but am now wondering what my next move will be. I know he can acheive soberity and life can be chaos free just don't know where this will take him or me."
What do you want your next move to be? What are your options?
How long will he be in inpatient this time?
Sending you hugs!

hopeforrecovery

my options are to leave him or have him move out. Don't know if I can do that financially.

not sure how long he will be in patient for. The facility admitted him today but ofcourse, they only go by days at first till insurance approves things. I have no contact for five days which is good for both of us. Gives me time to settle my thoughts.

I hang in there everytime. I love him but I can't live like this.

Addiction sucks so much and it's killing people and breaking up families every minute of every day. Its awful.

D122y

Prayers....

Kboys

I hope these five days no contact will provide you with some clarity....
Do something really nice for yourself while he's gone. You deserve it.
Addiction DOES suck!!

AnvilheadII

Physical compulsion coupled with a mental obsession......that's the definition of addiction. it's true insanity to almost die, be blessed with a new liver and a new lease on life and then choose to DRINK again. makes ya wonder, does it not, how the hell do you cure THAT????

feel pretty bad for the person who was behind your AH for that liver....

NYCDoglvr

Yes, this is true. But the real issue is his willingness to stop drinking and take the hard steps required to stay sober. That is far from certain. But what about you and your own recovery?

maia1234

Hope,
Being a spouse of an addict takes a toll on us. First off I think you need to hit some alanon meetings if you aren't already. You need some support in person. Alanon people/and SR people can give you the strength to do the things you need to do.

I know that you want to do something, but just aren't sure. I don't think with the total chaos in your life, over the years, that you are strong enough to make any decisions or implement them. The thing is, if you threaten, you have to follow through. So don't say anything that you can't do.

Getting help for yourself is a priority, maybe an addiction therapist might help. When I was in my life's crisis, I went to two open AA meetings, 2 alanon meetings a week plus sober recovery, for 10 months. I was desperate to "get" well. Work on yourself. Take the time and find out what you want/need to do. It will all fall into place as Gods plan, not yours.

Hugs my friend, post often, ask questions - we are here for you and give him to God to watch over him!!

Katchie

He was sober once for 18 years, maybe he will do it again. Who knows. Yes, one would think a liver transplant would bring home the seriousness, the obvious life and death staring him in the face and cause him to do an about face. I don't believe we can ever make sense as to why someone would do this to themselves and all those who love the addict.

On that note, you mentioned you don't have the financeial resources to leave. Perhaps you should take a little time to put on paper what you would need to be financially stable on your own. Goodness knows if he doesn't stay sober and you do stay, the likelihood of him surviving what he's doing to himself doesn't look good for the long haul.

I'm so very sorry for what you're going through. I'll be praying for the both of you...hugs

Liveitwell

Just sending you hugs and prayers tonight. Peace to you!!

teatreeoil007

We're here and you are supported. It's good support that will hold up!

Bekindalways

Welcome Hope. This is tough stuff that you have faced and continue to face. Please do what you can to take care of yourself. For myself, I usually try to stay hydrated and eat leafy greens if nothing else. Exercise, meditation, funny books/movies are good too.

Come back and post lots!