I miss my ex husband
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 399
I miss my ex husband
Just saw a photo of my ex husband and I miss him so much it's been so long. I see the man of my dreams when I look at that photo .... It's so hard when ur moving on and in an instant u realise you can't pretend that u never loved them and wished for a fairytale ending. I'll never understand why this happened to my family, my son my husband.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 333
I feel for you. My wedding photos are still packed away in a box in my closet, and that's where I plan on keeping them for the foreseeable future. I don't know when I'll be ready to look through them because doing so would raise all kinds of feelings. One day when enough time has passed I hope I can revisit those pictures with fondness instead of sadness. We all loved our partners dearly, but we don't always get to choose what life serves up to us.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,234
As I read both shares above me, I too
find similarities from what seems like
a past life with my 1st husband of 25yrs.
I married with the intention of being
like many who stayed married for life.
Id be sooooo inspired when reading the
pages of the newspaper of those older
couples celebrating 25 yrs, 50 yr. anniversaries
and wanting to be like them, including my
own parents and inlaws.
I married in the early stages of my
alcoholism, addiction and had no idea
I was sick. I even walked down the isle
with a horrible hangover yet the sun
shown brightly over the cross on the
alter as we were both blessed.
I was 23 when I married, had 2 beautiful
children, a college degree husband, engineer,
little home and yet, my addiction/alcoholism
cast a shadow over my life keeping me sick
yet functionable.
I entered recovery in 1990 via family
intervention completing rehab and
living my recovery life till my marriage
ended at 25yrs.
With my program of recovery incorporated
in all areas of my life, the marriage ended
peacefully and quickly as we both moved
forward in our own lives.
Today we are both remarried, living in
different states. Im right where Ive always
wanted to be, healthy, happy, continued
sobriety for 25 yrs now.
I left my wedding album behind when
I moved out to the kids. I don't need to
see those pictures because I already
vividly remember them inside my mind.
I had red eyes, hungover, a woman
in her addiction, illness, unhappy,
discontent, restless the whole time
in that other part of my life.
Today I refect back on that part of my
life as part of lifes journey ive been on.
I have faith and belief that the Man
upstairs has had my whole life mapped
out for me to follow.
I don't regret the past nor shut the door
on it because I can continue to learn from
it. A life filled with experiences, strengths
and hopes of what my life was and is like
before during and after my addiction.
Do I miss my 1st husband and what we
had for 25 yrs? Today, I don't. I believe
we were put together for a reason at
that time in my life and did the best with
what we had at that time.
Today, I have been blessed with my now
husband of 6 yrs and once again believe
this is exactly where I need to be. No question.
When I place my will and life into the Hands
of my HP - Higher Power of my understanding,
then I cant go wrong.
Today is where I continue making new
ESH - experiences, strengths and hopes
to live my life upon each day I remain sober.
find similarities from what seems like
a past life with my 1st husband of 25yrs.
I married with the intention of being
like many who stayed married for life.
Id be sooooo inspired when reading the
pages of the newspaper of those older
couples celebrating 25 yrs, 50 yr. anniversaries
and wanting to be like them, including my
own parents and inlaws.
I married in the early stages of my
alcoholism, addiction and had no idea
I was sick. I even walked down the isle
with a horrible hangover yet the sun
shown brightly over the cross on the
alter as we were both blessed.
I was 23 when I married, had 2 beautiful
children, a college degree husband, engineer,
little home and yet, my addiction/alcoholism
cast a shadow over my life keeping me sick
yet functionable.
I entered recovery in 1990 via family
intervention completing rehab and
living my recovery life till my marriage
ended at 25yrs.
With my program of recovery incorporated
in all areas of my life, the marriage ended
peacefully and quickly as we both moved
forward in our own lives.
Today we are both remarried, living in
different states. Im right where Ive always
wanted to be, healthy, happy, continued
sobriety for 25 yrs now.
I left my wedding album behind when
I moved out to the kids. I don't need to
see those pictures because I already
vividly remember them inside my mind.
I had red eyes, hungover, a woman
in her addiction, illness, unhappy,
discontent, restless the whole time
in that other part of my life.
Today I refect back on that part of my
life as part of lifes journey ive been on.
I have faith and belief that the Man
upstairs has had my whole life mapped
out for me to follow.
I don't regret the past nor shut the door
on it because I can continue to learn from
it. A life filled with experiences, strengths
and hopes of what my life was and is like
before during and after my addiction.
Do I miss my 1st husband and what we
had for 25 yrs? Today, I don't. I believe
we were put together for a reason at
that time in my life and did the best with
what we had at that time.
Today, I have been blessed with my now
husband of 6 yrs and once again believe
this is exactly where I need to be. No question.
When I place my will and life into the Hands
of my HP - Higher Power of my understanding,
then I cant go wrong.
Today is where I continue making new
ESH - experiences, strengths and hopes
to live my life upon each day I remain sober.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,872
Sending big big hugs-I know how you are feeling. I'll tell you what I know to be true and what others tell me-he is no longer the good man you remember....those are distant memories in the past and reality is now-and that sucks to accept at times...I know, btdt.
Many prayers for peace for you today.
Many prayers for peace for you today.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,872
Btw, it doesn't mean the love wasn't real. And re that fairy tale ending....those are from movies-they never happen. I think wishing the addiction would stop and the bad behaviors would stop would be a fairy tale ending, to me. But that didn't happen either-and I know you're hurting. I'm so sorry, KI.
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,022
Killer,
It sounds like you really loved this man. Love is a powerful thing. And you have love on your side. You loved yourself enough to let go of this man, but that doesn't mean that you let him go because you DIDN'T love him. And you probably always will love him. And you will miss him.
But the reality is that you did the RIGHT thing and it's going to be ok now. My grandparents were divorced nearly 30 years ago and my grandma still misses what they had. It's normal, sad, but such a beautiful release from a marriage that brought you so much suffering.
Hugs
It sounds like you really loved this man. Love is a powerful thing. And you have love on your side. You loved yourself enough to let go of this man, but that doesn't mean that you let him go because you DIDN'T love him. And you probably always will love him. And you will miss him.
But the reality is that you did the RIGHT thing and it's going to be ok now. My grandparents were divorced nearly 30 years ago and my grandma still misses what they had. It's normal, sad, but such a beautiful release from a marriage that brought you so much suffering.
Hugs
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