Papers are signed
 

Finally, exah signed the divorce papers. I had to text him to make sure he follwed thru with doing it, since he had been procrastinating, and he shot back that, "yes, I signed them and your free!". Nice. Sounds to me like he isn't owning the fact he created this situation for all of us. I guess I should feel lucky his words weren't more colorful, but then we never, or very rarely, ever argued so I can feel the emotion behnd his simple words.

My son had knee surgery last Friday to clean up some rough patches on the meniscus. My exah had to be there to pay the deductible and he showed up almost 40 minutes late. He called me to let me know he had a morning meeting and thats why he was running late, but I know him, he had just woke up. When he finally arrived, my son and I were already in the back for prep and he looked aweful. His eyes were very very red. This sort of thing continues to have me feeling a sense of urgency because I cannot count on him to not lose his job. I hope he doesn't. I want him to recover for his sons, but seeing him that way and also hearning that he is sleeping in a lot and going into work late does not give me hope.

I am, however, so very thankful I was able to suck up the pain and move on. Last night I reconnected with a group of folks I haven't seen in years and realized it is because I started isolating myself and didn't realize it. My sister recently talked to me about how I quit calling her, quit getting together with her, but I now see her more than I have in the last 3 or 4 years. Its wonderful..I've missed all of these people and just didn't know it. I shared with my closest old friend what had happened since I had seen her last about 5 years ago and her response was, "why didn't you call me?" She doesn't understand and thats ok, im just thankful my old friends are still there with open arms.

K- Its bitter sweet. Enjoy the peace and quiet!! Let God watch over him. I hope he finds peace and serenity sometime!!
Hugs my friend!!

Katchie-just wanted to send hugs and tell you I've been there-my ex sent me a message (one of many very colorful messages) after I finally moved his things out that told me congratulations, you won. I don't even know what that means. If it means that I got myself and my kids out if a horribly abusive and toxic environment that was created by his drinking and my resulting codependence, etc, then yes, I won. Go me! I don't know how these guys do it! Anyway, I digress. Wishing you and your kids nothjng but good thibgs-and your ex, too. I pray he frees himself of his addiction someday soon! Peace to you :)

I had a very similar experience recently. I wasn't ready to hear what my friends were telling me and so I isolated from them. When I reached out to my old friends a couple of months ago I was overwhelmed by how all of my friends were all exactly where I left them and overjoyed to reconnect with me. The whole experience continues to put me into such a place of gratitude.

Katchie.....I am glad that this part of your journey is completed!
I just want to say that I have followed you, this while, and I have been amazed at your strength!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You have lots of good stuff coming in your future.

dandylion

I have followed your journey, Katchie. The words "you won" don't do it, but the words "you're free" do!

Thank you for that perspective that had escaped me!!! I am free! Free to discover who the heck I am now because I really don't know. Sometimes I think that is a sad state of affairs, but then I also think, what an adventure that awaits! I'm embracing that, I'm moving forward small steps at a time. Some days I don't feel it in me to do a darn thing, other days a fire is lit under my butt..lol. I'm just taking things one day at a time and really trying to practice what I've heard so many of you say, 'be gentle with yourself'. I have so much to learn!

Truly! How wonderful that you are free to cultivate a tranquil, happy home. Go with the cycles of energy. You probably need time to rest and enjoy the silence, as well as time to actively build your serenity.

Lovely and thoughtful. That's who you are Katchie. Be well!

Time to move forward!!! Yay for you Katchie!

I have learned not to depend on my X for $ at all. He will keep a job...for a while. If I get child support, great. If not, I have come to realize I must support myself and my children and have made adjustments to do so.

I am happy you are reconnecting with old friends, that's a great feeling!

Have a happy day my friend! I hope your son has a speedy recovery!

It's bittersweet isn't it? I still feel waves of energy and sadness/fear and its been 8 months for me. It will come and go. Be easy on yourself as you grieve. It sounds as if your ExAH is not doing so well. It might make sense to make a backup plan if you do lose the child support. I have learned not to really count on my EXAH for anything. Its amazing how you really see how dysfunctional things were when you are in the midst of it. Good job reconnecting with your old friends. In time you will feel the serenity. Hugs and best wished for that bright open future of yours.

Just caught up on your thread after a long weekend - YAY, Katchie - doing a happy dance for you!!