Should we send daughter back to jail??????
Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: in the muck
Posts: 19
JT- Just wanted to let you know that your sentence, "When I fired myself as queen my life got a whole lot better" really made me smile. It sums it up perfectly and helped me take another deep breath and sigh of relief.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Winchester, TN
Posts: 62
Should we send my daughter back to Jail?
:okay: Dear Friends, I have read and reread all your sound advice. I have used what i could of your suggestions...each person is different. Spendra..your question of why should I start making phone calls trying to find a rehab center..because it was not my rehab..made perfect sense. So I decided that I would give up that "I am in Control" task. We had a very brutal talk with her last night...set some very stern boundaries...that were tested last night and that i stuck to (I am proud of myself). I told her what I thought prison would be like...and i painted a picture straight out of the worst, most brutal women's prison movie you can imagine. It was shocking and sickening what I told her could happen to her...she was shocked and did not want to hear any of it...but i persisted. (some of the things I said even made me sick to my already sick stomach). She is going to work today (she works night shift, so maybe that will help her stay out of trouble during the week. We are giving her what we have said is her last chance. We shall try to stick to that. I feel more peaceful...maybe I have (as one of you said) decided to give up my role as Queen of Recovery. I will not serve the jail term, she will, I cannot recover or turn myself around, she will. All I can do is be a cheerleader from the sidelines. A cheerleader full of love and positives, not advice. She doesn't want my advice. My parents weighed in with their advice on what to do with her...and I did not appreciate or want their advice. My husband and I are agreed on what we are doing so that is the most important thing. I cried so much yesterday that my eyes felt as though they had sand in them...but no tears today...I am sure today may bring some nasty events but i am accepting and will try to "roll with the flow". Wish me luck and pray for me. Your prayers have helped, I am sure. i love you all for caring. I cannot tell her future..she may end up in jail, she may kill herself, she may kill some innocent person, or she may finally, painfully begin to find her way out of the darkness. I cannot change any of those outcomes so i am at peace somewhat. Let us pray for a peaceful week before we go into the dangerous weekend.
the girl can't help it
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
(((((Frannie))))-
Truely my heart goes out to you with tears in my eyes right now I how you feel. I know this is just so hard on you and it is not fair!!! Prayers and more prayers going out for you and your family. Stay strong! BIG BIG
s for you too...
Truely my heart goes out to you with tears in my eyes right now I how you feel. I know this is just so hard on you and it is not fair!!! Prayers and more prayers going out for you and your family. Stay strong! BIG BIG
s for you too...
Supply Manager
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Cleaverville
Posts: 2,898
((((Huge Hugs)))) You are wise!
Oh and Frannie...we are getting a chat together on Saturday Mornings for parents of addicts. It will be 9am central....are you in the central time zone? That would be 10am Eastern. It would be great if you could try to make it!
Hugs,
JT
Oh and Frannie...we are getting a chat together on Saturday Mornings for parents of addicts. It will be 9am central....are you in the central time zone? That would be 10am Eastern. It would be great if you could try to make it!
Hugs,
JT
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Winchester, TN
Posts: 62
Should we send my daughter back to Jail?
I will definitely try to make the Saturday morning parent discussion. I am in the central time zone and the time sounds fine. i am really looking forward to talking to some other parents of addicts. Whoever thought up this exchange of ideas should be applauded. Thanks Thanks Thanks
But Very, Very Bruisable...
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Palm Springs, Ca.
Posts: 548
Originally Posted by frannie
I have gone on line and made inquiries about the Salvation Army Rehab program...from what I have been able to ascertain so far...it is only for MEN. Someone out there please tell me I am wrong. They have 2 rehab centers here in Tennessee but they are for men only (or so it seems to say in thier advertisements. ) Please, if anyone knows of a women's program..please let me know where. I will begin making my phone calls on Tuesday since everyone is out for Labor Day.
As an addict, a counselor, a website guy, etc,. I feel compelled to reinforce a couple of truths. The programs and rehabs in Beverly Hills have no better success rate (actually its lower) than the free programs on skid row.
And I'm sure your daughters age is mentioned up there somewhere, but it doesnt matter: Just because we dont "act" like adulcts doesnt mean we shouldnt be expected too.
Would you take out a second for any other adult-aged person?
The Salli does have female programs, but they are few and far between. Here is a website with about 2o centers in your general area. But it should be her making the calls...."Mommy." :8a:
And thats what theyre going to want to hear...willingness from your daaughter, not neediness from you.
You're doing good...just dont let up, draw some boundaries, and stick to them no matter what.
Heres the Sally page:http://www.salvationarmysouth.org/ARC/
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