gonzo51511

yes coping skills... my parents got divorced when I was young and I don't talk to my father.. I started drinking like people usually do but drank more and more.. I was always awkward in social settings and found booze opened me up.. I was very much a loner though so the bottle kind of became my best friend.. same ole familiar sorta story... im just a garden variety alkie. I just drank on top of bad feelings and never naturally got through any life experiences.. hence the emotional immaturity... but I find AA helps me the most..

amy55

You aren't ticking anyone off. We are here listening to you. We know how important that is to someone, and you are someone, and you are doing great.

amy

amy55

You know, we have a lot of this on the f&F side of things. There are many coping mechanisms for this. Not the rights ones, but they are coping mechanisms, but most of them all involve stuffing our own feelings.

amy

amy55

You know, that came out all the wrong way, we come here with lousy coping skills, we leave here with better ones.

amy

Thomas45

I'm a guy so I can't speak as to whether a girlfriend can forgive someone, but for what it's worth, I have no idea if I'd ever be able to forgive my ex wife for the things she did when she was drunk. Even if I was able to find some way to forgive them, I certainly couldn't forget them.

theuncertainty

Do you, can you, trust her? Because this:

seems like something to hold onto and believe can provide a base to rebuild from. It takes time to rebuild and a base is needed for that. It's a start. Trying to rush it or make it a 'sure' thing is very likely to backfire. So if you can find it in you to be patient and trust, it might help. At least trust that things will work out as they're meant to work out, if nothing else.

PHIZ007

Hi Gonzo

Welcome to SR.

My husband is the AH in my life and we have three children. It's been a tough road. He is not in recovery.

I have been coming here for years and I have been attending Al Anon for nine months. I have educated myself on this awful disease. I love my AH very much. He works hard and provides well for us. He also drinks every evening after work 365 days a year.

I don't know if we will stay together. At the moment life is pretty good I am working my program and what he does is up to him.

I have forgiven him many times for things to has said, he can get quite verbally abusive at times and says some nasty stuff. He never gets physical or I would be out. But verbal back out stuff is not nice to live with.

I go to Al Anon and absolutely love the strength and hope that I get there. I love my AH but can only work in myself and each day I am moving forward.

I wish you all the best and congratulations on seeking recovery yourself. I wish my husband would but he hasn't reached bottom yet so I can only take care of myself and our children.

Since attending Al Anon and working hard on myself our home life is so much better and I am so thankful for that.

Take care and all the best Phiz

gonzo51511

Thank you for all your positive feedback... be well all!!