TidyTeal

This is something that is tripping me up like crazy. Opinions about things I have. Feelings not so much. I did have a few a week ago and I sat with them, told myself it was OK.....did deep breathing, didn't lose my cookies and sure enough it was alright.

Then late last week I tried again. Nothing.
Maybe I should have been mad? Maybe I stood up for myself? Think I did, but not 100% sure on some of that. I know I tried hard to stay present in the moment, I listened an tried hard to shut off my internal dialog, but since I know I don't remember everything said, I didn't succeed totally.

If this helps I'm adult dismissive disorder & seriously codependent.

When I should be angry about how I'm treated I am oblivious. When I should be thrilled that things go well I just am numb. I worry by not processing things it will come back and bite me in the butt. However three days later I just don't feel anything either way. I know I reacted differently during, and nothing bad happened, but ????

Any insight?
ps. I'm new to Coda but not AA or NA, been in therapy on & off for a couple of yrs.

LexieCat

I never heard of "adult dismissive disorder"--what is that?

I don't think anyone ever HAS to feel a certain way. You feel what you feel. Some people feel more intensely than others or are more sensitive to feelings than others--unless you are having a problems as a result of stuffing your feelings, I wouldn't worry too much about it.

TidyTeal

Thanks for replying!
It's not what type of feelings I have, it's standing there not having any. I just stand there.....that's it. No reaction period. I ask myself "what do I feel about this?" and nothing. If whatever happened again I'd still just be standing there.

I'm probably stuffing them is what I also worry about. Cause that's my default position. Deal with immediate thing, don't feel anything, usually ignore it, longer term. In rediscovering what I like, what I don't and attempting to speak my truth it's been really tough if there is nothing there. Had no idea until recently the extent of how shut down I am to most things. Before now I would just tailspin into a panic attack, or have random panic attacks, now I'm trying to stay with things instead of running, or panicking, or dismissing, or getting so busy I don't have too....working on no avoiding. If that makes more sense?

Type: Dismissive-Avoidant | Jeb Kinnison

It's not like BPD, it's a attachment style. Talked to Psych doc about it, it takes therapy not medical intervention to resolve. It plays right into codependency, and early childhood emotional neglect. ( google CEN) FINALLY!!! figured out what's going on with me, and addressing it properly.