Doing for yourself...
 

Wanted to share this and ask others who want to share to do so too...

What do you do FOR YOU?

I realize that for SO many years, my hobby was managing/controlling/obsessing about xAH. Even when he did not live with us, my "hobby" was concerning myself with what crazy antics he was pulling and how it impacted us all. And certainly his antics hurt the kids and I and did and do impact us. That has not stopped and likely won't anytime soon.

But I have consciously decided to make myself a priority and focus on things that I enjoy FINALLY, or I should say, once again...

Some of it is that the kids are old enough that I can leave them home alone for a bit to be able to do things for me (like running) and part of it is that I decided I have a right to do things for me and deserve to and for me that's a big step...

So...

I organized a running group of other moms (dads could come too, just happens it's moms who wanted to) and we meet 3 x a week before work (5 am- ugh!) to run together... Its only been going for a few weeks but it's so nice to be back to doing something regularly with others and doing it for me-- it's not for my kids, it's not for work, it's for me and I realized this morning that it has been years since Ive done something for just me....

I've been gaining a lot of independence with DD getting a bit older & more responsible too, I totally relate to that unexpected freedom.

The biggest thing (corny as it sounds) is that I AM me. I don't edit my thoughts or opinions any longer, I don't worry or wonder about what anyone else thinks or consider if they'll judge me for my words. I don't care how out-of-the-box something is, if I passionately believe it, then it is worthy of sharing.

I'm embraced my weirdness instead of hiding it away, lol.

Lately I've prioritized my health & fitness by making time to work out very high on my daily list of things to do. It means sacrificing chores or time with DD sometimes, but it has done ME a world of good to give myself that gift of time to heal. It really increased my self-worth in ways I hadn't expected - I don't just think I'm worthy of the time & attention, I'm demonstrating it.... actually showing myself!

And btw - I'm a walker, like 5 miles per workout. I recently started running at intervals during my walks to spike my heart rate, etc. & now I know I was right. Runners are NUTS. :lmao

Seriously - I have to give mad respect to you & everyone who runs. I just got myself up to about a quarter mile without feeling like I would die, but when I started I literally only made about one-tenth of a mile before I thought my heart would explode. Running is hard, serious business. (but I'm starting to like it, even though I don't ever see myself running marathons.... shhhhhhh!....)

FireSprite... I actually prefer to walk! Shhhhh... don't tell! But DD10 has become quite a little runner and I figure it might be good for me to be able to keep up (and I do really enjoy running too to be fair!)

I think that it's great for our kids as they're able to get a bit more independence and especially for US as we can get some time for ourselves...

My kids are with my 24:7 essentially so we all need a break from one another now and then!

Good for you for getting out there and doing stuff for yourself too!

Your secret is safe!

We took the kids to a big theme park yesterday & it was AWESOME to just take off & run with my 3-yr old nephew when he needed out of the stroller. We just RAN & RAN from roller coaster to roller coaster. He thought it was Great Fun.

Even better when we got our wii fit board working last night & I did my first body test in over a year - I dropped 30 lbs, increased my performance in all tests/categories, dropped about 5% off my BMI. It calculated my wiifit age at 24 yrs old..... which is close to half my age. (very subjective, I realize, but I do not weigh myself at home otherwise, lol) DD was cheering & jumping up & down & we talked again about healthy vs. unhealthy not being the same as fat/skinny, etc. We talked about how I FEEL better, can breathe better, etc.... & it's not ever just the # on the scale.

The best part of the kid-independence is that she benefits when I take time for me too - she sees me doing this & knows it's a priority even when it comes with sacrifice. It's that old oxygen mask thing IRL, in a different way.

I workout at the gym and it is a high priority on my list. I also choose to take naps or relax if I feel I need to slow down.
I found that for my personal brand of codependency that I tend to "keep busy" in order to not hear myself think or feel.
Now, I let myself do it. I write music again, I allow myself a moment to cry, I allow myself to stew in my anger for a time until it passes. I tell everyone that I am taking a nap, to keep it down, and I shut off my phone! Lol...

Rest is so important for emotional control ;-)

_:You_Rock_

That is all AMAZING firesprite!!!! Wow!

And yes this is all part of the Oxygen mask for sure!

My :headbange:a043::a043::a043: x mother in law told DD 10 a year ago she would always have to watch her weight because she had the body type to be chubby... Talk about wanting to strangle someone... In any event, it has been a LONG year of trying to UNDO that damage... DD 10 is super healthy, very thin, very active... No idea why her grandmother said that...

But I share that to agree that those convos about healthy vs skinny are so important to have...

Ive been alarmingly thin thanks to stress for the last few years... But healthy? Nope. I gained back some much needed weight this summer and have gotten back to being physically active and I feel its so so important to set a good model for my girls-- finally....

That's so great that you are doing this for you! I have found running to be very therapeutic and it helps me sleep better at night. Good for you to take the initiative and start a running group with others. :You_Rock_

Yesterday I took the kids to the store and we picked out a whole bunch of crafts to do at night since AH is gone. We had soooo much fun!! I felt no rush to get back home to an empty house so we all just took our time and had fun looking at all at all the halloween costumes, crafts, toys and games. I felt such a huge amount of peace and happiness knowing I was coming home to a quiet house where I could simply focus on my kids.

I'm also going to keep up my workout program and really put some effort into preparing healthy meals. I want to start getting my daughter involved in cooking because she is always asking to help and I think she'd enjoy having a say in what meals we pick out.