Dreams are torturing me right now
 

I know recovery is hard and not easy but darn it am tired of these damn dreams. I can't recall the dream that I had last night but the voice woke me out of my sleep and had me saying wtf. He being my xabf called me in my dream and simply said hey there his voice was so clear it was almost as if he was really calling me in real life. All I could say was huh I was really confused. I hate this **** my feelings are really in turmoil these damn dreams. Please just stop they are torture. But to look at it from a positive way am feeling right? In the past I would've stuffed my feelings and try to find a way to not deal.

Dreams are a normal way of dealing with strong emotion, so they show your mind is busy sorting everything out. If you remember them dreams can also give us clues to our fears and hopes.
OK you've been resisting calling exabf, so a dream that he's calling you isn't hard to interpret, right? So much better that it's a dream rather than real life. Hope you have a restful day ahead.

Sometimes, to get out of the mud, we have to walk a little further in the mud.

I think Feeling Great has hit it right on. Your mind is processing this, and that's good. You aren't stuffing your feelings, you are moving through them. That's not easy, but you're another step closer to being out of the mud.

ShootingStar1

Thank you for sharing. I think what you're going through is normal, and it's your brain processing what happened. I've been separated with no contact from my XA fiancé for almost 5 months now, and I still have some nightmares where she and her brother are there, and I'm trying to get away. Recovery is really tough sometimes, but I know one day I won't have the nightmares anymore.

I would encourage you to do what's best for you. Don't let dreams dictate what you should or shouldn't do. The most important thing right now is staying sober and away from toxic people.

G- Yes, it is non stop, 24 hours a day we are consumed with an addict. Take one day at a time and then it will only be 23 hours that they consume you. Someone told me recently which I thought was interesting "In order to discover new lands, you have to be willing to lose sight of the shore. "

Hugs my friend, this to shall pass!!