Update....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 171
Update....
I posted 2 months ago that I left my AH and filed for divorce.
I have now found a place for me and my children.
My father is seriously ill and is in a convalescent home. He is slowly dying. I am losing the first man I ever loved and my AH too.
The hearing for the divorce will be at the end of September sometime.
Sue
I have now found a place for me and my children.
My father is seriously ill and is in a convalescent home. He is slowly dying. I am losing the first man I ever loved and my AH too.
The hearing for the divorce will be at the end of September sometime.
Sue
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
I'm very sorry about your dad, but his passing, when it comes, will be much more peaceful knowing you and your children are safe and in a good place. I hope the hearing goes smoothly.
Keep us posted, OK? No reason you shouldn't call on our mighty members for support during this time.
Hugs!
Keep us posted, OK? No reason you shouldn't call on our mighty members for support during this time.
Hugs!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 171
I read a lot of the posts here but rarely post. I am in Al-Anon, have a sponsor, Al-Anon friends, facebook support groups for separated/divorced women, my sibling, and a therapist. I have a lot of emotional support around me to help me through, and right now, it feels too exhausting to post.
I am grateful for all the postings here and they do help me incredibly.
Sue
I am grateful for all the postings here and they do help me incredibly.
Sue
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 171
I survived the first hearing.
AH told my lawyer, when we were out in the hall, that he wanted to reconcile with me. I chuckled and shook my head. Atty pulled me aside and asked me what I thought of that? I said, go a little deeper and you will get his real answer. She asked him about marriage counseling. He refused, saying that it was not the state's business about the affairs of his marriage. Atty came back with, well, as far as the state's concerned, your wife doesn't seem to mind. She's asking for a divorce.
Then atty told him about the options for temporary custody. I much prefer the week with me, week with AH option over the rotating days during the week and every other weekend. AH refused both options, again citing that the state isn't going to get involved in his business and he will not cooperate.
He thinks, in his delusional alcoholic brain fog, that I am going to agree to some other arrangement with the children privately and without orders being followed. AH thinks that he is so smart and so above the law. @SS .
He asked for another court date. I have to wait another 3 weeks before the next court date. Sigh.
He is threatening me that he will not allow me to have a relationship with the children unless I stay married to him. He claims he is refusing to let me go and that he will force me to be broke and come crawling back to him.
OVER MY COLD, DEAD BODY. I will live in a cardboard box on the street before I go back to AH.
Sue
AH told my lawyer, when we were out in the hall, that he wanted to reconcile with me. I chuckled and shook my head. Atty pulled me aside and asked me what I thought of that? I said, go a little deeper and you will get his real answer. She asked him about marriage counseling. He refused, saying that it was not the state's business about the affairs of his marriage. Atty came back with, well, as far as the state's concerned, your wife doesn't seem to mind. She's asking for a divorce.
Then atty told him about the options for temporary custody. I much prefer the week with me, week with AH option over the rotating days during the week and every other weekend. AH refused both options, again citing that the state isn't going to get involved in his business and he will not cooperate.
He thinks, in his delusional alcoholic brain fog, that I am going to agree to some other arrangement with the children privately and without orders being followed. AH thinks that he is so smart and so above the law. @SS .
He asked for another court date. I have to wait another 3 weeks before the next court date. Sigh.
He is threatening me that he will not allow me to have a relationship with the children unless I stay married to him. He claims he is refusing to let me go and that he will force me to be broke and come crawling back to him.
OVER MY COLD, DEAD BODY. I will live in a cardboard box on the street before I go back to AH.
Sue
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
LivingLifeforMe.....that is almost, word for word, what my ch ildren's fath er threatened me with. That was a few decades ago. I proceeded with the divorce--and, of course, he didn't take the children...lol!
After the divorce ---he didn't even seethe children when he was allowed, very much.
I think that is a common threat that they use to try to "scare" the mother into staying.
I would write down everything he threatens and when he says it and keep your lawyer appraised of every "threat".
dandylion
After the divorce ---he didn't even seethe children when he was allowed, very much.
I think that is a common threat that they use to try to "scare" the mother into staying.
I would write down everything he threatens and when he says it and keep your lawyer appraised of every "threat".
dandylion
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
