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does she really want to stop?

Old 09-11-2015, 04:13 PM
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does she really want to stop?

I am on another recovery forum, where there is a member who seems to thrive on attention. She is constantly trying and failing to get sober. She will be sober for a few days, during which time she is helpful, positive, and welcoming to newcomers. Then she goes off the rails and posts things like "guess what, I drank again" and "I just don't care anymore, I think this is the end for me", inspiring many people to try to be helpful and supportive, wishing her well, worrying about her, and hoping things will get better. Then she disappears for a few days and comes back sober, starting the cycle all over again.

I want to be supportive and compassionate, but honestly I am getting tired of her and her desperate pleas for attention. To me, she doesn't really seem to want to get sober -- she just wants attention. Do people troll recovery forums? What is the appropriate response? Do I keep trying to be compassionate, or do I cut my losses and ignore her? Do you know someone like this? What do you do?
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Old 09-11-2015, 04:30 PM
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Originally Posted by vanaprastha View Post
I am on another recovery forum, where there is a member who seems to thrive on attention. She is constantly trying and failing to get sober. She will be sober for a few days, during which time she is helpful, positive, and welcoming to newcomers. Then she goes off the rails and posts things like "guess what, I drank again" and "I just don't care anymore, I think this is the end for me", inspiring many people to try to be helpful and supportive, wishing her well, worrying about her, and hoping things will get better. Then she disappears for a few days and comes back sober, starting the cycle all over again.

I want to be supportive and compassionate, but honestly I am getting tired of her and her desperate pleas for attention. To me, she doesn't really seem to want to get sober -- she just wants attention. Do people troll recovery forums? What is the appropriate response? Do I keep trying to be compassionate, or do I cut my losses and ignore her? Do you know someone like this? What do you do?
There are people that are drama kings and queens. They are experts at sucking people in u.nder guise of support and have no real intention of staying sober. I just don't read their posts or in extreme cases put them on the ignore list
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Old 09-11-2015, 04:31 PM
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Sometimes it takes some people a long time to get it, but the fact that she keeps trying, is good. However, if she really bothers you to the point of wanting to avoid her, check to see if there is an ignore function. If not, just ignore her on your own.
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Old 09-11-2015, 04:42 PM
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Yes, people troll recovery forums. We've had a few here.

But some people want to quit (but are using ineffective strategies to do so), some people aren't serious about quitting but get something out of the drama, and some people are seriously mentally ill.

If I feel like whatever I have to say won't be helpful to the person or to anyone else, I ignore their antics.
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