cricket123

Got a mediation summary from AH today and I don't even recognize what is in it.

1. The list of marital assets were a lot longer than I know of. There were boats and equipment on there we never owned. Hoping theses were mixed up with someone else but in the middle of these equipment I did not recognize was something I did recognize.

2. It stated he owned his own business for years. Wth is this? Again I am hoping for a mistake.

3. I have extremely high value jewelry. Not

4. I took several thousand dollars worth of assets not

5. He held everyone together while I went through treatment for cancer(started drinking heavy)

6. I am being accused of having an affair last year with someone I graduated with and I could not even tell you where this person lives I talked to him on fb several years ago when AH started drinking. This person is the nerd/generally nice person that was in our class. He is married with 3 kids. Living about 3 hours away. WTH

Is this a break from reality for him?

SparkleKitty

Possibly. Or it's a negotiating strategy to make you look terrible or delay with ridiculous financial claims. Either way, it is what it is. Can you counter these with facts?

cricket123

I am trying to keep up lol. I thought with him gone things would calm down lol

firebolt

It doesn't matter what you do Cricket, he is going to feel screwed. He probably actually believes these things.. My XABF became nutty about who owned what when we split. I finally just said who cares - the blender, the dog dish, and the MFing Liquid Smoke are yours, and left them with him - even though they are not haha.

He believes you are the bad guy here, and he'll say ANYTHING to try to prove it.

If it were me, I'd go after half of that business he's owned for so many years haha...and I'd send him half of my 11$ a pair earrings

Get used to this...and keep the serenity prayer front and center. (((HUGS)))

Florence

You just counter. If they want you to provide additional evidence, go for it. If I were you I would request additional documentation about ownership of boats and equipment you weren't aware of.

There's a chance he did some dealings you weren't aware of. My XAH did that too.

dandylion

cricket....the only thing that I can offer is to take it up with your lawyer.

Who knows what is going through his mind!? But, it sure doesn't sound good!!

dandylion

NYCDoglvr

No, it's simply the distorted thinking of an alcoholic. My ex and I owned a business together which we sold. Later he sent me an angry email stating that I embezzled $300,000 from the company. This is absurd ... he had financial control and an outside accountant did the books. So I thanked him for the email and replied that I was keeping it to forward to the new owners of our business if he ever contacted me again. Oh God it felt wonderful to have leverage over him.

Contact your attorney.

cricket123

I did call her waiting for a call back. I also thought that some of these things were settled. So I am so confused. Lol

Liveitwell

Welcome to divorcing an alcoholic (and delusional person)...my ex did the same thjng to me-and still does to this day...messages me things that are blatant lies or literally make no sense. I guess it makes sense in his delusional mind?! Who knows. Contact your attorney.

hopeful4

Counter with the facts, and let the attorney do their job. Don't let it get you all riled up, that is what he wants.

XXX

wanttobehealthy

Sounds like a game- control, manipulation, painting you one way and knowing the court wont know who's telling the truth and who's lying...

Don't react in a way that lets him know you're upset...

And counter whatever you can for yourself with facts that show he's lying...

LexieCat

I'd just forward the list to the lawyer, tell him/her what's accurate and what isn't, and let your lawyer deal with it.

FeelingGreat

cricket, don't get sucked in. Take the list item by item and indicate whether you have knowledge of it or not. Make him find proof you every owned it. Same with the rest of the list. It's going to get expensive for him putting it all together, presuming it exists.
The affair thing - is it even relevant? I mean I know it didn't happen but what does it have to do with anything?

Liveitwell

Yikes. Yes-I don't even think an affair would be relevant. However, I've so been there. My ex sent me texts asking who some guy was...good question! I have no idea!! I think it's so sad bc I never so much as looked at another man since the day I met him-never flirted, never crossed boundaries, BUT some comments he made while we were separated led me to believe HE was the one actually already stepping out. Very typical of alcoholics-projection. Just send all his crap lies to your attorney, and believe God will reveal. Peace to you today

ladyscribbler

It doesn't matter what's going on in his head, and whether he really believes any of this stuff is irrelevant. My ex has spewed a bunch of b.s. like this during our custody case. Letting him get under my skin or worrying about what he's thinking only helps him. I help myself by sticking with facts, backed up by documentation. I turn it over for the lawyers to handle. The truth speaks for itself.
As weird as it sounds, this might actually work in your favor. The more he gets caught lying, the less credibility he will have going forward. Let him concoct all the crazy stories he wants. The more the better. Let him hang himself.
Being so close to the situation can make it hard to see, but this really is pathetic manipulation. Having some distance and perspective helps me see how laughable and ridiculous my ex's tactics have been. I know they would have much more effective if I was still as close to him as you are to your stbx.
You can do this. This is the hard part. The run up, the anticipation, the paperwork, the slogging through documents, the unknown. I have the mediation portion of my case completed and have a trial date set- finally, almost exactly a year after all this nonsense kicked off.
Take care Cricket. Keep posting. I bet you have some hilarious tidbits for the Quackers thread. Your husband is ridiculous. Really, he is, and someday soon you'll be in a position to see it, looking back at this mess through your rear view mirror, shaking your head and moving forward with your life.

Liveitwell

^^ this times ten! Spot on-ESP about it being laughable and seeing him in the rear view mirror as You move on with you life. Lady-you seem to always be in my head and write exactly the right thing at the right time

LexieCat

This is SO true. Not to be insensitive to victims of abuse, but these are the very characteristics that makes prosecuting stalkers fun. They think they are SOOOO clever, but they generally wind up hanging themselves.

Wisconsin

I agree completely. The vast majority of family court judges have seen it ALL, at least a hundred times. Same with family lawyers. Cricket, the chances that your AH will be able to "pull the will over" everyone's eyes indefinitely are very, very small. The crazy comes out in the end. My first husband's bully lawyer would drown me in a barrage of ridiculous allegations and demands, assuming I would cave to a certain extent because I was overwhelmed and scared. That was partially true when we settled our divorce, but during the two times we were back in court after the divorce, I literally had NOTHING left to lose. During our last go-around, they made a bunch of totally crazy demands, which I flat out refused. Ultimately, they dropped every. single. one. And the judge's contempt for both my AH and his pit bull lawyer was obvious.