meggem

thanks Lexie. I will do that.

meggem

Ok - Mine local shelter is called Turning Point

I'm going to call them later.

meggem

Lexie when you said I'd want the order in place if it were me - are you saying you would want it permanent?

LexieCat

Yes--at least until I felt someone was no longer a threat to me or my family.

I'm not suggesting there could never be a point at which the order could be dropped, but it seems to me you're nowhere near that yet. He can't even abide by a simple no-contact condition. That gives me very little confidence he has sufficient self-control that I would feel safe.

firebolt

I was a witness for a friend recently that got a permanent order of protection. She had letters from exes of her ex. That showed a LONG history of violence towards women - don't know if she'd be willing to do that. Also - if you ever told your friends or family about any incidents' that can support your testimony.

It sounds like he's going to shoot himself in the foot anyway, he may make it easy for you to get a permanent order if you are diligent about reporting. I'm sorry you are going through this - terrifying. Sending you some peace!

LexieCat

Let me rephrase that. With abusers it generally isn't a matter of self-control--they are very MUCH in control, which is the problem. What I meant is that he is still trying to assert control over you--to this point he is not willing to simply leave you alone. I wouldn't feel safe unless I knew not only was he leaving ME alone, but that those patterns of behavior had been effectively addressed--i.e., he hasn't simply moved on to a new target.