LexieCat

Well, my standard response, when people ask me why I don't drink is to say, "I decided it isn't good for me." So I might be a health nut, I might be like my mom who just didn't like the way booze made her feel (I would see her drink a glass of wine on special occasions--she usually didn't finish her one glass), or I might be a recovered alcoholic. He might have mentioned he doesn't drink just because that's what a lot of first dates involve--meeting for a drink.

If he mentioned he didn't smoke or use drugs, would you have asked "why?"

Carrie2015

As far as smoking he already told me he didn't smoke. It was on his profile. He already said he didn't do drugs, because it was on his profile. I agree there are questions I would not like. I would not want to be asked if I had a STD. (yes, I have been asked that on a first date). I would not want to be asked what medications I was taking (yes, I have been asked that). lol. Dating is weird. I did tell both of them it was not something I wanted to talk about at that point.


But again...he offered up the info. What is the social contract I broke about asking further? He could of said, "personal preference", but he did not. Please understand I don't begrudge the man, nor was I offended. I am being cautious about who I date and was wondering how other people handle dating if they are either RAs or especially nervous about alcoholism as I am. I think I am going to error on the side of being perhaps rude and being direct, if it's brought up. I have to start somewhere.

I would think asking people why they don't smoke isn't a reasonable question. I don't know any casual cigarette smokers. If they said, they don't do drugs, I would be happy, but I might ask why, if they said specifically they didn't smoke weed. People ask me why I don't smoke weed, and I always tell the truth. It's because it makes me paranoid, not that I have anything against it, unless someone abuses it. Another man I spoke with a couple weeks ago told me in detail how he smoke high THC content weed in the morning and low THC content weed in the evening. LOL...I am not going out with him either.