Bernadette777

Hi guys,

I wanted to start a new thread, but was unfamiliar in doing so - so please excuse me for adding this post to this thread. I'm SORRY FOR SENDING TO A DIFFETENT FORUM, I apologize,. Just realized it, please excuse me. I just got it to the friends & family of A. Again, I'm very sorry.

I hope no one is mad at me but I've been racking my brains out thinking I should write the exabf a letter since September is a rough month for him emotionally. Well--- I went through some old texts (I know I should have deleted them a long time ago) but regardless - there is something good here I need to share. I realize everything i wanted to write to him/ well.... I've already written it to him, and you know what he didn't have it in his heart to respond to me then - so, I just had a realization that if he didn't respond when we were in contact - he wouldn't give a damn if I wriotechim now- or even respond now. I think I just had a huge breakthrough, it's over, it's been over, i hurt & im choked up - but after taking a deep breath just now, I realize that it wasn't that great of a relationship once his alcoholism, drug abuse & mental illness (manic depression) showed itself. I'm gonna try to say goodbye To SR now, I don't want to enable myself if that makes any sense- I feel I've beat a dead horse in myself. But I know I've received great help, support & kindness from SR & the wonderful friends out here. I feel if I keep talking about it, I'll linger more on it. I love you guys, I'm always praying for you. God bless all on SR. I just really feel I hit my bottom right now & I want to move on & up. I gave him (exabf ) all I could, I wrote my heart out to him when there was contact, he didn't even respond. I'm done. I love you guys.
Always, Bernadette777 God bless.