Bookaboo2

I sitting here trying to muddle through work wishing it was already a month later. If it was a month later in my mind am thinking I will hopefully be in a better place mentally and emotional. I hve the desire to call him although I know that calling him won't help a darn thing but make me wish I didn't do it to begin with smh. Madness, I know trust me. All these emotions are going through my mind embarrassment sadness hurt lost and regret anger. You name it I hve felt in the last 12 hours UGH!!!! Am scared that I will become this jaded woman who won't allow herself to feel again. I keep telling myself it's okay to feel all of these feelings bc I lost a relationship with someone that I truly did love heck I still love him. I keep sayin it but am really not believing my self talk. It's only been a day, but i be damn if it feels like 20 years already.

FeelingGreat

Yeah, the first few days can be killers, but you know you're doing the right thing for you. You have strong feelings and thoughts that need getting out, as long as the outlet isn't talking to him.
I suggest you write him a letter, write one to yourself, to anyone else you like, just for you though, not to send.
To balance that, why not write a list of things you'd like to do, whether it's around the house, or fun things? Put some small items on the list, so you can start crossing them off quickly.
Mild exercise outside is great too, so make sure you go for a walk in the park tomorrow.

dandylion

gcolma....FeelingGreat has given you some good suggestions. i think that it helps to make a list of the very worst parts of the relationship--that were harmful to you---and carrying that list with you at all times (in your pocket). I did that, at one time. Read the l ist every time you get the desire to call. You may have to read the list over and over and over, each day! The will keep you heart from overiding your head.
Don't be afraid to cry as much as you need to....and, you will probably need to.
The pain and longing can feel overwhelming, at times....like it will swallow you up. But, it won't. Just hang o n, and the "waves" of feeling will pass. Sort of like the waves of the ocean....they come in....and then, they go back out again.

It is important to have as much structure to your days as humanly possible.
Exercise is your friend, right now. the more ; the better.
Do little things to be good to yourself.....however simple.

Who do you have for (positive) support, right now?
Contact with other caring and uplifting people is very important.

You are right, these feelings will decrease and fade over time. The first few days and weeks are the hardest....as we all can attest!
Think of it as the short-term pain for the long-term gain!!!!!!!!

dandylion