Bookaboo2

Today I had my mediation session with ex husband and I was pretty upset after crying and everything. ABF was trying to be supportive but I kept noticing how he was making statements such as your giving him more energy then you give me. Then we talked later and he was trying to get me to say I was really proud of him for job searching today. He did say he understood that I was still upset (I was crying during this moment). I can't do this anymore I need some type of normal back in my life. He spent the night the another night an I thought I heard a beer can open leaped up oUT of bed and yelled downstairs what are you doing. When he came upstairs he asked me what did I think he was doing and I told him and he said I don't even think about drinking. I knew he was FOS at that point. I blocked his number today.I don't want to do this anymore. I had a dream the another day that had all these incomplete bridges and he and I were together. He keep trying to hve us cross these bridges by finding shortcuts instead of looking for a bridge that was complete. In the dream we parted ways and I went to look for a finished bridge. I believe dreams are just your thoughts coming through differently. Am ready am scared but am ready to walk away. I want to hve a future with a myself for now

JK130

In the midst of so much emotion, you sound like a strong person! Take care, and, I'm glad you're here.

maia1234

G- you have to hit rock bottom before you make changes in yourself. Believe in yourself. Everything will happen the way it's suppose to!!

Hugs my friend, you will be ok!!!!

firebolt

Dreams are really telling - I've had so many with such potent symbolism, especially at the end of my relationship. Listen to them- your heart and subconscious is telling you what you need! Peace to you!

BlackSabbath

Wow! That's deep. Doesn't sound like you need that in your life right now. Clearly axbf needs to keep looking for a bridge - did you happen to notice if they had been burned?!

FireSprite

What a profound dream!!!! ((((hugs))))) Have you read the old threads on this board that reference bridges in recovery?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...very-long.html

Bookaboo2

Thank you FireSprite that was very deep and very much needed. I read the passage

Bookaboo2

Actually BlackSabbath it was as if the Construction people simply stop building them in mid-air. The architecture was beautiful and I was trying to figure out why they simply stopped but then I decided to look for a whole bridge

FireSprite

I like it a lot too - I do better with good visualizations like this.

Don't miss the 2nd bridge parable, about 10 posts down in that thread, by LilyFlower. It's excellent!

Bookaboo2

You and me both am a visual learner. Ok I will go back and look for the 2nd part

Bookaboo2

LilyFlower was jus as powerful. Am trying to let go( am taking it day by day but the phone is blocked) bc of the possibility of what lies in my future leaving him behind. I can dream of going to Italy for my 40th and not be hindered by his negative feedback. But honestly I just want to be happy with myself again. Am gonna print those passages so I can read in my moments of weakness.