Butterfly

How I've responded or not responded to his message has helped me to see that I have moved forward. I would have immediately replied to his message with a million different scenarios running round my head and I'd have jumped straight back on the roller coaster, only to be left feeling hurt again. This time I came here and spoke with a friend, I was able to play the scene the whole way through and I didn't respond.

With the divorce I wouldn't be pushing for it to proceed I'd have sat back and let it go at his pace thinking his delay is because he doesn't want to divorce, he doesn't want to go through the financial discovery and pay solicitor costs!!!!

I've also started to see that the old friends behaviour towards me wasn't exactly honest and he had his own agenda even before I showed him just how messed up I am lol. So I will take responsibility for my insecurities and obsessional behaviour and how I displayed them but not for the sudden change in the relationship and his disinterest., I may never know why he suddenly changed from constantly talking to me and wanting to see me to hardly responding but I know I didn't do anything wrong for this change. How I felt and behaved following this is my responsibility. You know I went from someone who never shared her thoughts and feelings with others keeping them all bottled up to someone who spewed feelings to this old friend, someone I didn't really know , maybe because I knew it was self sabotage and it would completely destroy the friendship.

What I know I need to work on is not giving away my power and accepting that not everyone will be honest and truthful. I also need to work on this constant spewing of thoughts and feelings to others. I feel that is all iam at the moment just Thoughts and feelings. That's ok as this is where I need to be right at this moment and time and is it any wonder, if people don't want to be around me or can't understand why I'm currently so messed up that's ok.

I am still a work in progress and a lot of work to be done before I feel good about me but I am realising that I have made decisions based on what's good for me and not anyone else for the first time ever.

Hawkeye13

I really do see progress with how you've handled both the text as well as going forward with the cross-petition

As for "old friend"--that dude was a scammer from the word go with a predatory sexual agenda from what you described.
Frankly, he deserved most of what he got for hitting on you when you were very clear from the outset you were not ready for dating.

So put that part in a pink bubble and let it float away. . .

Hope you are feeling better soon Butterfly

Butterfly

Thanks hawkeye

Yes I do think he was only after one thing and when he realised he wasn't going to get it he changed his attitude! That said I shouldn't have behaved the way I did and I do feel like an idiot and deeply embarrassed! That said I have to try and put it behind me and stop using it to beat myself up with.!!

Butterfly

Thank you black sabbath this made me laugh.