Ex still in contact
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 32
Ex still in contact
I moved four hours away three months ago, this has truly been the worst year of my life.
The girl he was cheating on me with moved to another state, but he still flies her into town. Me? He calls me daily to say hi. I'm so glad I got the short end of the stick. I give him 3.5 years of loyalty, I was a great gf, and he effed me over with the drugs and cheating.
For the past two months, I have not asked questions, argued, yelled, cried, nothing. I'm polite. I never asked why he was still calling. I don't think it's normal to call your ex everyday after your broken up for many months. Sometimes it as several times a day. First thing in the morning, sometimes drunk calls late at night. Asks if I need money...
So Friday I wanted to have a talk, and we did, it got emotional, he still didn't want to answer any questions about the other girl. By Saturday evening we were fighting. I let him know his calls were stringing me along, that it's wrong to call me like he does, especially when she's still in the picture. If he wants her, why is he calling me??? He broke up with me, he doesn't want a relationship with me, he never says he's truly sorry for anything, so I'm so confused. He said I'm important to him and give him some sort of peace...but when we were together, he hated me and was unhappy!!! I sent him one last text that our contact is over. I wished him well and said I refuse to be placed last any longer. He's a cheater and a liar and I don't need it in my life.
My problem is I'm still obsessed with stalking her online, I hate her, and I hate him for doing this to me. It's been the hardest year of my life. He's a drunk, a liar, a dealer, and a user. I'm so mad at myself.
The girl he was cheating on me with moved to another state, but he still flies her into town. Me? He calls me daily to say hi. I'm so glad I got the short end of the stick. I give him 3.5 years of loyalty, I was a great gf, and he effed me over with the drugs and cheating.
For the past two months, I have not asked questions, argued, yelled, cried, nothing. I'm polite. I never asked why he was still calling. I don't think it's normal to call your ex everyday after your broken up for many months. Sometimes it as several times a day. First thing in the morning, sometimes drunk calls late at night. Asks if I need money...
So Friday I wanted to have a talk, and we did, it got emotional, he still didn't want to answer any questions about the other girl. By Saturday evening we were fighting. I let him know his calls were stringing me along, that it's wrong to call me like he does, especially when she's still in the picture. If he wants her, why is he calling me??? He broke up with me, he doesn't want a relationship with me, he never says he's truly sorry for anything, so I'm so confused. He said I'm important to him and give him some sort of peace...but when we were together, he hated me and was unhappy!!! I sent him one last text that our contact is over. I wished him well and said I refuse to be placed last any longer. He's a cheater and a liar and I don't need it in my life.
My problem is I'm still obsessed with stalking her online, I hate her, and I hate him for doing this to me. It's been the hardest year of my life. He's a drunk, a liar, a dealer, and a user. I'm so mad at myself.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 137
Hi ExhaustedA
As much as it hurts, I'd much rather be you and be the one with a clear conscience where I'm not the one who did the wrongs, than to be him any day.
I would NOT want to be that guy and NOT want to have his problems.
if it is any comfort at all to you, please be glad you are you.
As you find ability to forgive these messes, they are on him, not on you.
It is normal reaction for nice conscientious people to carry the pains and burdens from the abuses of others, but ultimately they belong to him not you.
As you forgive, you will find healing. But he has addictions and other disorders to deal with, you can be GLAD you do not have.
Think about it and remember you are still better off than he is.
You can get away from him and not have to deal with that in the future,
but he has to live with himself and his past and what is causing it
every day for the rest of his life, and will be forced to deal with that.
Please take time to go through the anger the hurts and pains.
This is to remember why you don't want to go through this again.
If it didn't hurt you wouldn't know to stay away and avoid/prevent this in the future.
Please keep forgiving all the pains as they come up, until they finish healing.
by letting them pass through, they will eventually run out, as long as you don't keep piling more on.
so sorry for your suffering and losses, but these are finite events of the past, all the emotions attached will eventually get cleaned out of your system, there is an end to the suffering. just don't add any more or hold on to it by unforgiveness and resentment which makes them worse. forgiving allows release so the burden goes back on him where this garbage came from.
Don't let him dump his leftover displaced messes on you.
Clean up shop, get rid of any unwanted thoughts or feelings you don't want or deserve in your life, and just forgive let go and create space in your heart mind and soul for positive focus and people you deserve to have in your life.
Take care and sorry again it hurts so much.
That's because you have a good heart mind and conscience.
if you were some sort of sick psycho maybe you wouldn't feel pain
and it wouldn't hurt so much. But that's what causes people to hurt others,
when they can't feel pain they cause.
You can because you are a good person.
Remember that and be glad you are you, not him. Okay?
Take care and hugs to you
from Houston
Love and peace and more power to you
yours truly, Emily
As much as it hurts, I'd much rather be you and be the one with a clear conscience where I'm not the one who did the wrongs, than to be him any day.
I would NOT want to be that guy and NOT want to have his problems.
if it is any comfort at all to you, please be glad you are you.
As you find ability to forgive these messes, they are on him, not on you.
It is normal reaction for nice conscientious people to carry the pains and burdens from the abuses of others, but ultimately they belong to him not you.
As you forgive, you will find healing. But he has addictions and other disorders to deal with, you can be GLAD you do not have.
Think about it and remember you are still better off than he is.
You can get away from him and not have to deal with that in the future,
but he has to live with himself and his past and what is causing it
every day for the rest of his life, and will be forced to deal with that.
Please take time to go through the anger the hurts and pains.
This is to remember why you don't want to go through this again.
If it didn't hurt you wouldn't know to stay away and avoid/prevent this in the future.
Please keep forgiving all the pains as they come up, until they finish healing.
by letting them pass through, they will eventually run out, as long as you don't keep piling more on.
so sorry for your suffering and losses, but these are finite events of the past, all the emotions attached will eventually get cleaned out of your system, there is an end to the suffering. just don't add any more or hold on to it by unforgiveness and resentment which makes them worse. forgiving allows release so the burden goes back on him where this garbage came from.
Don't let him dump his leftover displaced messes on you.
Clean up shop, get rid of any unwanted thoughts or feelings you don't want or deserve in your life, and just forgive let go and create space in your heart mind and soul for positive focus and people you deserve to have in your life.
Take care and sorry again it hurts so much.
That's because you have a good heart mind and conscience.
if you were some sort of sick psycho maybe you wouldn't feel pain
and it wouldn't hurt so much. But that's what causes people to hurt others,
when they can't feel pain they cause.
You can because you are a good person.
Remember that and be glad you are you, not him. Okay?
Take care and hugs to you
from Houston
Love and peace and more power to you
yours truly, Emily
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
You know, Exhausted, that this is continuing only because you are allowing it to continue? As long as you keep talking to him, and following what he and his g/f are up to on FB, you are not going to heal. What's the point of moving four hours away if you still have this in your life?
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