feliciae

I am new to this and just reading through some of peoples stories have helped me regain some hope. I have an alocholic/addict husband, sometimes clean and other times not. He went to treatment a year ago and has had a few relapses. I know he really wants to be sober but has had a very hard time. Then again sometimes I think he only tries sooo hard for me and our 2 kids. I have told him after learning all the horrible things he was doing while he was drinking I would never go back to living like that. I know I have no control over what he does but I fear that he will start drinking and using again. I fell like that is all he ever thinks about lately and that it is just a matter of time before he relaspes completly. I feel like I am always walking on egg shells and never know wat to expect. I feel so out of control again. I know I am the only one that can change that and I am respondsible for my own happiness but I love him so much and just want things to be normal. I feel like I need to fix this for him so that we can be okay. He controls our moods and our closeness. I am so afraid of losing him even though I feel alone right now because we seem to be drifting apart again. I read someone's message ealier about having the idea that if their spouse was sober it would fix all there problems and then it did not. I thought the same thing and sometimes I really hope it is true.
But thanks to everyone who has shared on this site because I have felt for so long that I was alone and pretty much going insane but just reading has helped me. I know that I have a long road ahead and hopefully things will get better.

Rella927

<-----there are alot of those people in here! Welcome! And know that you are not alone ever!!

Magichappens

Hi feliciae,
Welcome to SR. It really is good to know that we don't have to be alone and that we aren't crazy(well maybe a little, hee hee).And guess what. Together we can learn and grow and find healing and comfort. I love an alcoholic/addict. It's not an easy thing. But through people like I have found here, and in Al-Anon, I have been able, slowly, to find some peace and serenity with it.

I am glad you joined us. Feel free to post, reply, or just browse the sight. Don't miss the powerposts at the top of the forum. There is a lot of good information there.

Have you tried Al-Anon. It has helped me so much. When you are ready, you can find a meeting at http://www.al-anon-alateen.org/. Select "Find a Meeting."

And stick around. There is a lot of love and support here. Hugs, Magic

noifs2day

Wow, great attitude! Our attitudes really do make such a difference. Keep posting and reading & welcome.

cwohio

welcome feliciae - great place to be! keep coming back!

cwohio