OT, need opinions
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,163
OT, need opinions
Hmm,
While this may be OT, I find myself swirling in that old familiar sea of doubt.
So here is the the buzz in my hometown.
A very wealthy member of the community recently passed away, but what if fact transpired, a once wealthy man, outlived his money and died.
So the Son inherits what he believes to be this huge, valuable piece of waterfront property. The son has been waiting to develop this property for years.
So the whole business community is trying to get a piece of the pie. Bankers, lawyers, builders, developers, real estate agents, the lumber yard, and the list goes on and on............
Well a couple of years ago, the old fella mortgaged the property. I knew this, as I closed the transaction, but it is also a matter of public record, as the mortgage is recorded.
Bottom line, I got accused of "not sharing" info with my fellow business associates. I figured the lawyer , real estate broker, and banker would certainly pull the last deed of record and see for themselves. Even though it is a matter of public record, did not feel it was my place to run my mouth.
So today, at about 4 p.m. I get quite a snotty call from one of these folks accusing me of some not nice things, when all I did was choose to remain quiet and allow other professionals the opportunity to do their job.
Am I missing something, should I actually shared with these folks , before they invested time and money on this project?
I am really struggling, I guess I could have just said " maybe you should do a title search" but I didn't, and now I am second guessing myself.
How come sometimes when you mind your own business, you still end up in a pot of boiling water?
While this may be OT, I find myself swirling in that old familiar sea of doubt.
So here is the the buzz in my hometown.
A very wealthy member of the community recently passed away, but what if fact transpired, a once wealthy man, outlived his money and died.
So the Son inherits what he believes to be this huge, valuable piece of waterfront property. The son has been waiting to develop this property for years.
So the whole business community is trying to get a piece of the pie. Bankers, lawyers, builders, developers, real estate agents, the lumber yard, and the list goes on and on............
Well a couple of years ago, the old fella mortgaged the property. I knew this, as I closed the transaction, but it is also a matter of public record, as the mortgage is recorded.
Bottom line, I got accused of "not sharing" info with my fellow business associates. I figured the lawyer , real estate broker, and banker would certainly pull the last deed of record and see for themselves. Even though it is a matter of public record, did not feel it was my place to run my mouth.
So today, at about 4 p.m. I get quite a snotty call from one of these folks accusing me of some not nice things, when all I did was choose to remain quiet and allow other professionals the opportunity to do their job.
Am I missing something, should I actually shared with these folks , before they invested time and money on this project?
I am really struggling, I guess I could have just said " maybe you should do a title search" but I didn't, and now I am second guessing myself.
How come sometimes when you mind your own business, you still end up in a pot of boiling water?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Iowa
Posts: 3,050
Sounds like they should have done their due diligence. Some people always have to find a scapegoat. I had a boss like that. Whenever anything went wrong her first instinct was not to try to solve the problem, but find someone to blame (never herself, of course). People with that attitude don't realize how much respect it actually costs them, usually way more than admitting their mistakes.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
It sounds like they missed the first, most basic step & are having a hard time accepting it... they were already greedily counting chickens that hadn't hatched; not your fault.
I'd tell them I'd totally forgotten about that transaction & that just because it was once mortgaged doesn't mean he hadn't paid it off/down since; how would I know since it was less than none of my business?
I'd tell them I'd totally forgotten about that transaction & that just because it was once mortgaged doesn't mean he hadn't paid it off/down since; how would I know since it was less than none of my business?
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
What they said.
Good grief, isn't that pretty basic information to check before you go putting yourself out on a limb? You don't work for them, it's not your job or your business.
Sheesh.
Good grief, isn't that pretty basic information to check before you go putting yourself out on a limb? You don't work for them, it's not your job or your business.
Sheesh.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
i don't believe you are obligated in any way to share details of a transaction either while it is occurring OR after the fact. quite the opposite i would think, i don't think you are held to confidentiality per se but there is such a thing as protecting the privacy of your clients!
if they were all too stupid to do even the most basic of research then that is THEIR problem!!! sounds like greed tooketh over.
whoever called you and said not so nice things is definitely OFF the Christmas list!!!!
if they were all too stupid to do even the most basic of research then that is THEIR problem!!! sounds like greed tooketh over.
whoever called you and said not so nice things is definitely OFF the Christmas list!!!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Newtown, CT USA
Posts: 58
Life will always, always, always throw this kind of drama your way. The challenge is to avoid getting looped into it. This is their drama, not yours. I have seen the inside of the real estate arena, and a title search is the very first thing you do before contemplating any property project. Don't let them blame you for their shortcoming, but also don't get into a spitting contest over it. They will probably blame you for their mess no matter what you do or say. Shrug it off. This is the kind of thing that can threaten your sobriety, and no one should do that.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,792
I don't know how the law is in this regard, but in the medical field, we are not allowed to discuss patients with ANYONE, not even their spouse, without written consent. To do so could land us in jail with a huge fine.
I don't know if you have recourse to something like that? Good luck!
I don't know if you have recourse to something like that? Good luck!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Right here, right now!
Posts: 3,424
Marie-
I don't know about the legal aspect of it, but I just wanted to comment on a part I can relate to.
As I have gotten better I have found myself "stuck" in these kind of situations on more than one occasion. I don't remember having them in the same way when I was in the worst of my stuff.
Then I realized why.
I was spending so much time trying to do what was "right" for everyone else that I never listened to the still small voice within me that guides me to what I think is right or wrong and to act appropriately.
It has been a very needed lesson for me on standing on my own two feet for what I believe in....regardless of the actions (and reactions) of others. It is slimey to me how much I "took" on of others stuff previously....because they told me I should.
I personally think you are doing great!
I don't know about the legal aspect of it, but I just wanted to comment on a part I can relate to.
As I have gotten better I have found myself "stuck" in these kind of situations on more than one occasion. I don't remember having them in the same way when I was in the worst of my stuff.
Then I realized why.
I was spending so much time trying to do what was "right" for everyone else that I never listened to the still small voice within me that guides me to what I think is right or wrong and to act appropriately.
It has been a very needed lesson for me on standing on my own two feet for what I believe in....regardless of the actions (and reactions) of others. It is slimey to me how much I "took" on of others stuff previously....because they told me I should.
I personally think you are doing great!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,792
Marie,
It was not your responsibility to disclose this information. Would they have wanted you to disclose this if it was their family member. I think not. When in doubt...Don't!! Is what we say in Alanon.
Hugs my friend, it would have been worse if you shared information that you had no right to share. They should have done their jobs!!!
It was not your responsibility to disclose this information. Would they have wanted you to disclose this if it was their family member. I think not. When in doubt...Don't!! Is what we say in Alanon.
Hugs my friend, it would have been worse if you shared information that you had no right to share. They should have done their jobs!!!
●▬๑۩۩๑▬●
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 1,405
As both a real estate investor and multiple business owner, if my agent or banker (or just about any other professional I deal with) blabbed my personal business affairs all over town, that would be the last time they had my business. Rest assured, professionally you did the right thing. It sucks to be them that they were too stupid to not do their due diligence.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: atlanta, ga
Posts: 3,581
Money is the root of all evil.
Not your fault everyone started salivating and spending the millions they anticipated making before doing basic research. I mean really - if you are going to invest money in property development isn't your first step to make sure there is a CLEAR TITLE on the property???
The son should have known there was a mortgage as you inherit the debt too.........I hope if you get anymore calls you will say something along those lines and hang up the phone. IMO job well done- confidentiality is a plus.
Not your fault everyone started salivating and spending the millions they anticipated making before doing basic research. I mean really - if you are going to invest money in property development isn't your first step to make sure there is a CLEAR TITLE on the property???
The son should have known there was a mortgage as you inherit the debt too.........I hope if you get anymore calls you will say something along those lines and hang up the phone. IMO job well done- confidentiality is a plus.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
I would consider it a breach of confidentiality if you told anyone. I once consulted a mortgage broker and happened to be with my real estate agent when the MB called him and told him my financial details.
I didn't use the MB.
I didn't use the MB.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 715
I've been a realtor for years... It was not and never has been your place as I assume Title Agent, to advise ANYONE of ANY transactions that you close ( other than the property owner, that is ). I'm not sure where you are but where I reside it would take me about 2 seconds of my time on the property appraisers website ( which is available to the public ) to find out anything I needed to know on the deed.
Not your fault or problem.
Good luck!
Ro
Not your fault or problem.
Good luck!
Ro
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 278
What everyone else said about protecting the privacy of your client. You did the professional thing; this bunch of greedy, grasping vultures did not.
You can simply explain that it would have been inappropriate to be blabbing about someone's private affairs all over town - and that you would have assumed that the freeloaders would have carried out their professional responsibilities, which is why you hadn't thought to mention it.
I know we're not on here to tell others what to do - but please, please please do not feel a moment's more discomfort or guilt on behalf of this bunch of ********
xxx
You can simply explain that it would have been inappropriate to be blabbing about someone's private affairs all over town - and that you would have assumed that the freeloaders would have carried out their professional responsibilities, which is why you hadn't thought to mention it.
I know we're not on here to tell others what to do - but please, please please do not feel a moment's more discomfort or guilt on behalf of this bunch of ********
xxx
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
if youre missing something i am,too.
ya handled it much better than i woulda. reads like a great situation for disguised sarcasm from me.
with a smile.
maybe even lookin like my avatar
ya handled it much better than i woulda. reads like a great situation for disguised sarcasm from me.
with a smile.
maybe even lookin like my avatar
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
It is not very professional to be airing other people's business. You were simply keeping confidential what should be confidential. They had the opportunity to do a title search and did not...that was pretty negligent of them, and should be a lesson learned for their future.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 137
Originally Posted by marie1960 
Hmm,
While this may be OT, I find myself swirling in that old familiar sea of doubt.
So here is the the buzz in my hometown.
A very wealthy member of the community recently passed away, but what if fact transpired, a once wealthy man, outlived his money and died.
So the Son inherits what he believes to be this huge, valuable piece of waterfront property. The son has been waiting to develop this property for years.
So the whole business community is trying to get a piece of the pie. Bankers, lawyers, builders, developers, real estate agents, the lumber yard, and the list goes on and on............
Well a couple of years ago, the old fella mortgaged the property. I knew this, as I closed the transaction, but it is also a matter of public record, as the mortgage is recorded.
Bottom line, I got accused of "not sharing" info with my fellow business associates. I figured the lawyer , real estate broker, and banker would certainly pull the last deed of record and see for themselves. Even though it is a matter of public record, did not feel it was my place to run my mouth.
So today, at about 4 p.m. I get quite a snotty call from one of these folks accusing me of some not nice things, when all I did was choose to remain quiet and allow other professionals the opportunity to do their job.
Am I missing something, should I actually shared with these folks , before they invested time and money on this project?
I am really struggling, I guess I could have just said " maybe you should do a title search" but I didn't, and now I am second guessing myself.
How come sometimes when you mind your own business, you still end up in a pot of boiling water?
While this may be OT, I find myself swirling in that old familiar sea of doubt.
So here is the the buzz in my hometown.
A very wealthy member of the community recently passed away, but what if fact transpired, a once wealthy man, outlived his money and died.
So the Son inherits what he believes to be this huge, valuable piece of waterfront property. The son has been waiting to develop this property for years.
So the whole business community is trying to get a piece of the pie. Bankers, lawyers, builders, developers, real estate agents, the lumber yard, and the list goes on and on............
Well a couple of years ago, the old fella mortgaged the property. I knew this, as I closed the transaction, but it is also a matter of public record, as the mortgage is recorded.
Bottom line, I got accused of "not sharing" info with my fellow business associates. I figured the lawyer , real estate broker, and banker would certainly pull the last deed of record and see for themselves. Even though it is a matter of public record, did not feel it was my place to run my mouth.
So today, at about 4 p.m. I get quite a snotty call from one of these folks accusing me of some not nice things, when all I did was choose to remain quiet and allow other professionals the opportunity to do their job.
Am I missing something, should I actually shared with these folks , before they invested time and money on this project?
I am really struggling, I guess I could have just said " maybe you should do a title search" but I didn't, and now I am second guessing myself.
How come sometimes when you mind your own business, you still end up in a pot of boiling water?
Maybe it was their karma, they were so caught up in what they thought they were going to get, they were caught off guard.
If you were meant to say something to prevent that, I'm sure something would have compelled you. So maybe it was a lesson meant to be learned this way.
Sure it could have been prevented, but maybe they needed to learn the hard way?
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