HoneyBadger1

Much, much better today! I went and saw my al-anon sponsor and also spoke with my former therapist, who I will be seeing tomorrow. I hate myself for having the feelings that I do, but at least I didn't act on them. I also went to the phone store to try to get him blocked, but because we are on the same family plan, they can't do it. BUT they helped me set up a filter that will send his messages to never-never land. So I expect he will start stalking me soon (only half kidding).

Thanks again - I know it is probably not the story you thought would resonate with someone, but it did for me. Your timing was perfect

And I hope your day is a good one and you figure out how to deal with your ex. Keep those disgusting scabs in mind...I faint when I see blood, so it is a great analogy for me!

HB

BlackSabbath

Yay! I'm so happy you had a good day and that I was able to help you out somehow good for you for diverting his texts. I hope he doesn't stalk you! My ex kicked in my front door last year in the middle of the night. It was so scary! He seems to think that was a show of his love for me :/ so, you never know what they'll do!

I had another random meltdown today. I was holding the baby & my son came over to play with me and I had to hide it from them. Otherwise I had an awesome day - got poop in the potty and in the bathtub today. Mopped pee up off the floor twice. Never a dull moment around my crazy little house

dandylion

BlackSabbath.....Seriously?.....he kicked in your front door...in the middle of the night??
Do you have police in Canada?
Is there a reason that you didn't call the police? That is some really scary aggression and a flagrant violation of your rights.
Are you afraid of him??

It is no wonder that you had a meltdown

dandylion

by the way...he didn't bring your sewing machine, did he? If not ...he has a nerve to even speak the word love!!

BlackSabbath

Yes, DL - that was last year. July 8, 2014 @ 2:15am. Yes we have police here. Yes they came, but he was long gone. The charge would have been B&E with intent to commit a felony - possible life in jail. I couldn't "say for sure" it was him bc I locked us in the bathroom & didn't see him (however I found his watch out back and he called me a ******* bitch when he heard me on the phone with 911 - it most certainly was him - I later found out he lied on his police report). Charges ended up getting dropped (hello! Found out I was pregnant!) and I currently have a "Peace Bond" aka restraining order. You think that's something? I've got a few more incidents that stick out in my mind. Ever had all of your belongings go up in flames while you're visiting a client (for accounting, not like it was massage therapy!!!)???

No sewing machine yet. Nothing, yet. Nerve?! My axbf has a tonne of that. Don't even get me started. He's quite the enigma. He still takes absolutely no accountability for much of the crap he's done. I've never put up with anything from any man - so I'm not sure what it is about this one. The "old me" would have kicked him to the curb a long time ago - the fact that I love him & adore the flip side is so messed up.

dandylion

BlackSabbath.....I am sorry....I read it as if it had happened "last night". That is why I was so astounded.... Please forgive me for that.
I believe you that he has a lot of "nerve".

Just keep your eyes on the prize and hold steady.

dandylion

emilynghiem

Dear BlackSabbath
Your fear is your worst enemy here, running you and ruining your ability to enjoy life and relations before counting anything this other guy does.

Please remember to let your love be greater than your fear. Open yourself up to receive more love, grace and healing life energy and that will overcome the negative effects and controls by fear, stress anxiety that is burdening you.

Can you forgive the whole situation, like throwing it in the ocean and letting the waves carry it for you. This doesn't need to be on you where you are feeling the overbearing weight. That isn't right, balanced and healthy, or fair to you.

Why should you suffer and carry the worries of other's people's problems?

By forgiving emotionally, this allows other people to push that responsibility back onto their plate, not dump it all on you to worry about.

Please focus on yourself and what you are responsible for.
it isn't fair to dump all this on you. Treat it like leftover garbage and clean it out of your house, your mind and space. Don't fill your house with other people's emotional garbage. You deserve better than this.

Fill your house with beautiful thoughts that make you feel happy to be alive. Not this toxic waste. Please give it back to the source, and don't let people use your precious space as a garbage dump.

Love and hugs
Hope this helps!
Yours truly, Emily

BlackSabbath

Thank you. I certainly do not need that burden. I just wish he could dump it himself! Sad. I hate his addict voice so much.