It's Going to Be a Rough 24 Hours

Old 08-24-2015, 07:15 AM
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It's Going to Be a Rough 24 Hours

My AH leaves for his out of town work project tomorrow morning. I'd say there's a 50/50 chance he'll be back before I move, but even if he is, it will only be for a day. Our son started school this morning, and my AH was unsurprisingly hostile to me...no doubt because I am such a b**** and so unreasonable for leaving him, so it is all my fault that he cannot take joy in our son's first day of school. *eyeroll*

Last night he asked me if there are heroin users in my new apartment building.
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Old 08-24-2015, 07:37 AM
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Ugh. Ignore the quacks and remember...you are so close to FREE!
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Old 08-24-2015, 07:39 AM
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They might be easier than you think. When I was moving, I was so highly motivated to get out of there before 3 pm. When I look at the things I pulled out all by myself, I keep asking myself, how did I do that and where did the strength come from. Ignore the hostility and focus on your goal. BTW, mine says my building is "noisy." Let us forget for a moment that he was so "noisy" cussing me that I wanted to go to a shelter. Madness, madness, expect lots of it.
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Old 08-24-2015, 07:49 AM
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Originally Posted by Wisconsin View Post
Last night he asked me if there are heroin users in my new apartment building.
And you said "No, but there sure as hell is an alcoholic A-hole in my CURRENT place!"

You DIDN'T?

What self-control, my fellow Wisconsinite!!

"Free at last, free at last, good God almighty, you are nearly free at last!" (MLK couldn't make it, but he sent his paraphrased regards...)
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Old 08-24-2015, 07:59 AM
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Originally Posted by honeypig View Post
And you said "No, but there sure as hell is an alcoholic A-hole in my CURRENT place!"

You DIDN'T?

What self-control, my fellow Wisconsinite!!
Agreed, admirable self-restraint!
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Old 08-24-2015, 08:29 AM
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W-so rooting for you!! This thread is making me smile this morning

Happy for you! Sheesh-he's all sorts of crazy isn't he. Glad you're getting off!
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Old 08-24-2015, 08:43 AM
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Thanks, everyone. Being able to come here and read, and post, and vent over these past couple of months have made it so much easier to just let the crazy at home roll right off my back.

I still can't believe he's leaving in the morning. I will actually be able to prepare for the move now (before I planned to not really pack anything in advance, knowing it would set him off into a rage). My little guy will be able to enjoy his first week of school in a peaceful environment. I am prepared to have to deal with him for a day or so before I move, should he arrive home before the 31st.
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Old 08-24-2015, 09:43 AM
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W - We're in the home stretch. Can't wait to cross the finish line - hand in hand with you and a few others here!!!
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Old 08-24-2015, 09:43 AM
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Such healthiness in your post Wisconsin - I'm am so excited for your new journey at your own little piece of serenity

I pray little man had a great first day at school & that AH will leave for his job with no "quacking"

BIG PINK HUGS!
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Old 08-24-2015, 10:08 AM
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Any chance the apt will let you move in the day earlier?? Worth looking into!
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Old 08-24-2015, 10:19 AM
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My lease starts September 1, and the current tenant is moving on August 30. My landlord has agreed to give me the keys on August 31.

One of the reasons the contractor is sending my AH out of town is because he has developed a reputation for being able to run a crew on particularly complicated bridge jobs (which this is). Particularly complicated bridge jobs almost always have problems crop up and they end up taking longer than everyone estimates. So...here's hoping. I will gladly stop by the old place a few times a day to take care of his dog until he gets back, if it means I can get moved in peace...
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Old 08-24-2015, 10:29 AM
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Can you tell us which bridges we should avoid? Sort of as a public service?
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Old 08-24-2015, 10:41 AM
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Originally Posted by LexieCat View Post
Can you tell us which bridges we should avoid? Sort of as a public service?


You're safe in Jersey, Lexis.

In all seriousness...I have gained a real appreciation for the epidemic of addiction in the skilled trades, and how these guys completely enable and cover for each other. I am a pro labor union bleeding heart liberal, but it is shameful what goes on with respect to substance abuse in the skilled trades, with the unions' full knowledge at best, and outright cooperation at worst.
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Old 08-24-2015, 10:46 AM
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Originally Posted by Wisconsin View Post
I am a pro labor union bleeding heart liberal, but it is shameful what goes on with respect to substance abuse in the skilled trades, with the unions' full knowledge at best, and outright cooperation at worst.
There was a time in my life when I was involved w/a union electrician, and I would have to agree--the partying was EXTREME, with guys showing up to work severely hungover and impaired, if not actually still drunk/stoned. These guys made a ton of money and it was just the lifestyle--party hard while the work lasts, then party even harder while you're waiting for or moving on to the next job. Rinse, repeat. It's incredible more of them aren't killed on the job.
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Old 08-25-2015, 05:32 AM
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in my experience, what I see is that ALL areas of occupations cover so well for those struggling with addiction - just like we did for such a long time - because "they are really a great guy/girl when they are sober"

I believe so many fellow employees or employers do it the same reason we did - they truly don't understand the scope of this disease. If a guy is under the influence a few times at work - he is more than likely under the influence at home even more ~ but it all gets swept under the rug in the name of helping.

it's all so heartbreaking
Hopefully you will have your peaceful time to move & start your new healthier life.
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Old 08-25-2015, 06:16 AM
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It is very heartbreaking, indeed. My conservative estimate is that at least 50% of the people in my AH's trade are active addicts.

Well...he's gone. He left this morning at the same time I left with our son to take the little guy to school. We did indeed have a difficult night last night, but I made it through. AH seems to think he will be back on Sunday--if that turns out to be the case, we will have one more night in the same house before I move.
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Old 08-25-2015, 07:03 AM
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Hugs, Wisconsin, hugs. My thoughts and good wishes are with you. I'll light up that oil lamp that I burn when folks are in need. May its little flame give you some glow to help you get to the end of the old trail and the beginning of the new one.

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Old 08-25-2015, 07:39 AM
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Great! At least you have several days of peace and quiet to get things done (or as much peace as one gets with a small child in the house). At least you got the big lug of a child out of the way.
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Old 08-25-2015, 08:41 AM
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Enjoy these days my friend!
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Old 08-25-2015, 09:10 AM
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So. Close.

I am fantasizing about a peaceful homes - all dressed up in our colors and things and music and smells. Our kids / pets joyous and loving life - free to be themselves, and so much love in every room.

SO CLOSE!
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