brightlight

my story. I have been getting strength from reading all the advice and I see that a lot of people have worse trouble than I do. My husband had a father that drank and he grew up drinking, and did when I married him. I never thought of the word alcoholic till we had our first child. Then I realized something was wrong. He goes to bars to drink. Later he quit and then two years ago he started again. Lately it has gotten worse, but maybe because I am getting crazy. I yell more. I name call. I try everything, but I am making it worse. I told him I was sorry today and that I was looking at this all wrong. I remember why he said he married me and it was because of the way I treated him. I am going to be nice again, but I am not going to call him when he is at the bar or even at work. I am going to be gone from the house more. I just joined a bowling league. I am exercising and losing weight. He talks like he wants to quit and says things like he wants to lift weights and get in shape. No more preaching :nono: and trying to control him. He is on his own now. He wanted to just drink one pitcher a night, but I think tonight he has had three. Something is going to give, but we are going on vacation in two weeks and he will have to slow down on the drinking. We are driving and last year on vacation he did not drink at all, so maybe this will help him get a little control. Going to be hard to be quiet. I think if I stay away from the house that it will keep the kids interested in things and maybe they will not notice as much.

Magichappens

Hey brightlight,
Welcome to SR. My husband is a great guy with a serious problem too. There is a lot of love and support here for families dealing with the effects of alcoholism. There are no answers that will make someone quit drinking. But we can learn to cope better and share our experience strength and hope here. I see you have already checked out the forum. Hang around. It has really helped me. Be sure to check out the power posts at the top of the forum. Lots of good information. You don't have to go through this alone. There are many here who are learning to heal and find some peace whether the alcoholic is drinking or not.

Have you thought about giving Al-Anon a try? It has helped me so much. To find a meeting in your area, http://www.al-anon-alateen.org/ and select Find a Meeting. Glad you joined us. Hugs, Magic

brightlight

and it was a recording. I found one meeting where they have a sitter for the kids and I am going to go. I have been at home for about 6 years and have no friends. We moved to this state and he was not drinking. He worked and I took care of the kids and my mother who lived next door, but she died this month. I need people to talk to and my kids need me to get out of the house more. I would LOVE it if my husband went back to not drinking, but I would be happy if he would just slow down on it. I have always worried more about him than I did myself, but I am taking care of myself again. Thank you for the welcome.

cwohio

brightlight - it would definitely do you good to attend a meeting and get out and do for YOU. sounds like you are on the right track. welcome and come back often!!!!

hugs - cwohio

Maggie-May

Brightlight,

I can empathize with how you feel. I too am married to an alcoholic. My AH is working on achieving sobriety through AA, but it has been a long hard road to get to this point. There is such comfort in talking with the families of other alcoholics. I agree that is sounds like you are on the right track. I would also encourage you to attend Al-Anon. I found such relief and comfort there. There is no way to control alcoholism and it is a progressive disease. However, we can lead by example and work on our own recovery. By attending Al-Anon you will better learn how to care for yourself and live with the disease with more serenity. I would recommend that once you get to Al-Anon that you read the pamphlet "Alcoholism - A Merry-go-round named Denial". It clearly illustrates our role in the disease and helps us to "get off" the merry-go-round.

Keep posting!
Maggie

Sandy Marie

Hi Brightlight,
Good for you! You're responsible for your health and well-being! My sister-in-law's been doing it for years now. She went on without my alcoholic brother and has recently achieved an assistant physical therapy license and a job at a skilled nursing facility. She has a whole other life without him while they remain married with 2 children. I support her TOTALLY!
Welcome to SR. Don't waste your precious life wrestling with someone else's problem.