noifs2day

I am working on my 4th step.
As I work "me" out on paper, I seem to be taking a visual/mental inventory of personal objects in the house. Things of excess or objects I no longer love or need I am giving away. I feels good to have the extra physical space & so I think it is a good thing.

Does anyone know if this is weird, coincidence, kinda normal or just one of my quirks? Any reason not to do this at the same time?

osier59

It makes perfect sense to me. I struggled for the longest time with my 4th step. I was so incredibly terrified of what I would discover about myself.... then I heard it explained like this:

A friend's grandmother lived near the river, and it flooded. When the water had subsided, they went back in and took an inventory. What worked and what didn't? What could be fixed and what could they do without? What was necessary and what was no longer necessary?

It was really that simple. And that's how I approached my own 4th step. I was no longer afraid - it was just about what worked and what didn't? What could be fixed and what could I do without?

So, I think your physical and spiritual inventory process makes perfect sense!

Hugs and love on your journey.

Barb

Maggie-May

Makes sense to me too. There is something very cleansing about taking stock of our household and getting rid of the excess. It's as if getting the clutter out of our homes helps declutter our minds. It sounds to me like a really positive thing to be doing during your 4th step!

Maggie

StandingStrong

I'm not really sure if this will help you any, but thought I'd share as I've shared this recently in another post.
I know that there was a time in my life where I felt a need to "get a grip" on my life and to get something, even one thing, under control. There were so many things swirling about my life that I needed to know there was at least one thing that I could have some sort of productivity with. I found that in my own house.
I have cleaned, I have de-cluttered, I have really looked at my house and the items that I owned. And then I had a major realization - the state of my house represented my inner feelings.
My insides were confused and full of chaos (my home had become disorganized), my heart and mind were divided on what to do in regards to my situation (so I did nothing personally or with my home). Many things in my relationship needed fixing (many things in my home needed fixing). I could go on but I figure you are getting my point.
I was tired of living - and feeling - the way that I did. I was tired of my life and my home being chaotic. I was tired of everyone being miserable and my home looking miserable.
While it may not be the case for everyone - I realized (and have been reminded many times in this past year) that for me to stop living in denial or if I just need to see my progress, all I have to do is look around my house to see the truth.

I guess what my long-winded post is trying to say is that I really do see a connection. I think that it varies in degree from person to person - but I get what you mean and you are making sense!

Magichappens

Doesn't seem weird to me at all. But then I may be weird. I think it is great that you are doing your 4th step. It's a big one. It was the beginning of a wonderful change in my life. However you do it, the important thing is that you are doing it. Kudos! Hugs, Magic

brightlight

I have heard this before and I told my husband the other day that by looking at our house you could tell something was wrong. My clothes, my hair, my house are all messed up. After I thought about it I worked hard on the house, got my hair cut, and have been exercising. I was happy for awhile. I did this also because my mother-in-law was coming, but after she came things got bad. My husband really started drinking with his mother here and since then it has got worse. My mother had to go to the hospital and died this month and my husband got the phone call about her dying and after telling me and the kids about it, he went to the bar. Even went on the night after the funeral. I am exercising, but just today thought about the house. There are so many things out of control and I have thought I can control my appetite and eating, and I will lose this weight. I can declutter the house. I think I can control my temper, but I know I cannot control him.

cwohio

i definitely can see the connection. house looks in order (for the most part) but boy, open a closet or cupboard and bam!!!!

i need to follow standing's lead and just start the process on the house as i am also starting the process on me.

great threads folks!


cwohio

noifs2day

Ah... I knew there must be some connection but I just didn't see it.
For years I've been hanging on to "that special blanket" or "that lucky shirt", excess furniture, pictures and other stuff I didn't enjoy. I think I got overwhelmed by never cleaning out the environment. I'm not sure if I even had a connection with anything because I didn't know what was good to keep and what was bad for a long time. I didn't know what I would use and what I wouldn't use so I kept all of it.
--- I SEE ---
We take the inventory so we can eventually ask our HP to remove the "characteristics" or the "personality-defects" or the "quirks" that no longer serve our personality because of changed attitudes we learn in recovery. The letting go of the stuff whether it be material-items, or defects-of-character feels so good because we are decluttering and bringing more serenity into our lives by adding managability where we can; ourselves and our environment-when possible. ---- Ahhhh which makes more room for a connection with our HP!

It would have been some time before I figured that one out on my own. Thanks All.
Guess that's why they say "reason things out with others".