Gone Too Soon, I guess alcohol won
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
I'm so sorry for your loss. Unfortunately untreated alcoholism is a fatal disease and alcohol wins far too often.
I did not aspire to die of alcoholism but I came dangerously close. Somewhere I found a tiny spark that said I'd rather live than die and that was enough to start me on the road to recovery. The sad reality is many never find that spark and there is nothing any one can do about it.
Prayers going out to you and those who loved him
I did not aspire to die of alcoholism but I came dangerously close. Somewhere I found a tiny spark that said I'd rather live than die and that was enough to start me on the road to recovery. The sad reality is many never find that spark and there is nothing any one can do about it.
Prayers going out to you and those who loved him
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: West Coast
Posts: 774
I'm so sorry Lucy. This is the absolute worst outcome. My step dad passed of liver cancer just over two years ago... He had quit drinking for about a year before it happened but the damage had been done. His organs began to shut down, and they sent him home on hospice care for what they said would be 3 months. And it was less than a week! I watched him go. That memory haunts me every day....
So I am glad that you won't have those memories. And just so you know. It is OKAY to be angry. I still have waves of it... sitting here reading this I am angry all over again. Peace will come to you, I promise. But it is OKAY to let the stages of grief happen as they will. Shock is usually first... It is like a numbness. Just let it come.
God bless you dear....
So I am glad that you won't have those memories. And just so you know. It is OKAY to be angry. I still have waves of it... sitting here reading this I am angry all over again. Peace will come to you, I promise. But it is OKAY to let the stages of grief happen as they will. Shock is usually first... It is like a numbness. Just let it come.
God bless you dear....
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Right Here Right Now
Posts: 50
Lucy I'm so very sorry to read your post. My heart goes out to you and your girls. I wish you so much strength delivering the sad news to them. I'm saying buckets of prayers for you all tonight. Cherish the fond memories & don't beat yourself up for things you said and did in turbulent times. Hugs xxxx
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Alabama
Posts: 493
I am so very sorry for your loss and pain. No words will help take that away. I know you regret the things said in anger. But I have faith that your husband knew how much you loved him and I do believe he is watching over you and your girls and knows how you feel. You did not cause this. You could not have prevented it. You did the very best you could for your daughters. Be kind to yourself. I know you have grieved over him for the past two years. But take time to grieve. I hope you and your girls have support and people to lean on during this time. You are in my prayers and thoughts.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 70
I joined today to post my story, but yours is so heartbreaking, I just wanted to first send my deepest sympathies to you and your family. I am so sorry you all are going through this and so sorry for your terrible loss.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,281
From an Alanon speaker: his sponsor's words to him regarding his father's relapse following a long period of recovery. Your daughters' father was not a bad man. He suffered from a disease called alcoholism.
Thinking of you tonight, and keeping you in prayer.
"Remember that alcoholism is cunning, powerful, baffling and very, very patient. And your father is an alcoholic; he is not a bad man. Your father has a disease, he is not a disgrace. He is a loving, kind, generous, humorous, intellectual man who has a disease called alcoholism.
Thinking of you tonight, and keeping you in prayer.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 56
Thanks again everyone. It's very comforting to log on and read your condolences.
I told my daughters this afternoon. The oldest cried off and on. She has been carrying around one of her father's old shirts. The youngest said she's sad and asked to watch TV. His drinking had progressed quite a bit by the time my youngest was old enough to form lasting memories so the relationship he had with each of them was very different. We spent the day with good friends.
I will always be grateful that I educated my daughters about this disease. With the help of a therapist I gave them age appropriate info and didn't hide or cover up their father's drinking. We've had several conversations over the years about death. Sometimes I see threads and parents wonder if they should tell the kids about the drinking. Or people assume the kids don't know. I say don't keep it a secret, talk to them about it. You never know what might happen.
I told my daughters this afternoon. The oldest cried off and on. She has been carrying around one of her father's old shirts. The youngest said she's sad and asked to watch TV. His drinking had progressed quite a bit by the time my youngest was old enough to form lasting memories so the relationship he had with each of them was very different. We spent the day with good friends.
I will always be grateful that I educated my daughters about this disease. With the help of a therapist I gave them age appropriate info and didn't hide or cover up their father's drinking. We've had several conversations over the years about death. Sometimes I see threads and parents wonder if they should tell the kids about the drinking. Or people assume the kids don't know. I say don't keep it a secret, talk to them about it. You never know what might happen.
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