How does he get away with it?

Old 08-08-2015, 05:44 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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As others have said - document, document, document. Videos are great proof of negative behavior, too.

Just look at it this way - you're already in an on-going war, even if you're not actively fighting with him - but there really isn't an objective for you for the war you're already fighting.
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Old 08-08-2015, 07:44 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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I wonder the exact same things of my ex. Shortly after we met, he totalled his truck (drunk). He lost his license for 90 days (and if I wasn't at his beckon call to give him a ride, I was a horrible person!). That's all. No charges.

Last year, he kicked in my front door & spent a night in jail. Charges were subsequently dropped and I settled for a peace bond (restraining order). Cops in town know him.

I have reason to suspect his rap sheet is extensive, but he has never had to pay the price either. He used to have money, so I'm sure he paid for adequate legal representation, but now that he can't afford that I wonder what's going to happen. I'm leaving it in God's hands to figure out what he needs.

I can't imagine how stressed out you must be living with an alcoholic husband and caring for your little sweetie. Can you get a decent lawyer to go to bat for you? Growing up in an alcoholic household isn't good for your kids either thinking of you & hope you get peace and clarity in the near future.
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ladyscribbler (08-08-2015)
Old 08-09-2015, 07:00 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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I feel your pain...when it comes to protecting our kids we do what we have to do. I have just finished reading A book about manipulative people called "In Sheeps Clothing" and am now reading a book that was refered to me by a friend who has his PhD in Psycology...the book is titled "The Sociopath Next Door"...I am identifying many traits in these books and have found them both very valuable to regaining my self worth! I reccomend them both to everyone!
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Old 08-09-2015, 08:17 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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My AH has never faced and legal consequences in all the years and sadly, it just does not matter. You have to take the focus off him and what is or is not happening to him and shift it to you and what is and is not acceptable to you and your children. He even once told me he has never been arrested so it was not so bad. He further went onto say there is no moral police and I can pound sand. At times I get so angry just thinking of the dialogue between us. It was not until I stopped focusing on him did things ever start improving. I understand wanting him to reap the consequences of his behavior, but it is not up to us to make that happen.
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Old 08-09-2015, 05:47 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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I know how you feel all to well. I've been there resenting him his choices his non caring attitude thinking he's unstoppable. I was home hoping he would get stopped hoping he would get banned from the bar. Hoping someone other than me would stand up and say something. ....

Then it happened as I looked outside and saw him pull in. Right after I got to him and tried talking to him 4 cop cars surrounded my house he was arrested right there in front of my kids. The tow truck came and took my truck and I was left there to pick up the pieces.

My husband though needed that to happen he's been sober and trying to regain his life. Still tough on us we still have lots of hurdles but he really did see the light
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Old 08-10-2015, 11:20 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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I have always felt the same way with my husband. He belongs to a lot of community organizations and has always told me that they cant touch him because of it. Well, he was wrong. Eventually they get caught and have to deal with the consequences which is what he is doing right now. I am still bitter now that he is trying to get sober and I also have to deal with the turmoil he has caused. Hopefully yours will hit that bottom and get the help that he needs.
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