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Old 08-07-2015, 04:23 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Simple answer-yes. 100% of the time.
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Old 08-07-2015, 08:31 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Yes it gets worse!!! Much much worse! And then you are in too deep to be able to get out as easily as you can now! Run don't walk, run to your nearest exit! Seriously get out and save yourself from this terrible trauma of a life with an alcoholic!
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Old 08-11-2015, 10:02 AM   #23 (permalink)
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I HEAR you. I see how ridiculous the responses I type, then delete look. I don't WANT to believe it. Sadly I want him to change into a wonderful significant other as an alchoholic so everyone wins... Ever happen?!!?!?!? (joking)
I NEEDED to talk to people who know and have been there. That's why I came here. He's TRYING to be more present in the relationship over the past few days. I set my expectations low and expect him to stop.
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Old 08-11-2015, 10:06 AM   #24 (permalink)
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No, I do not feel like this is all I deserve. Oddly enough, I told him I deserve more during our talk a week or so ago. Not only do I deserve it, I NEED it.
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Old 08-11-2015, 10:07 AM   #25 (permalink)
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It get's worse even though he's high functioning? SMH... Hope springs eternal.
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Old 08-11-2015, 10:17 AM   #26 (permalink)
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Meg, "high functioning" is not a TYPE of alcoholism. It's a stage. And no one can say how long it will last.

You're doing good. This is frustrating stuff. Hang in there and things will start to make more sense.
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Old 08-11-2015, 11:39 AM   #27 (permalink)
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My exah stayed sort of functioning ( he never had a job but he got up at some point during the day) for 18 years and has gone to end stage in 8 months flat. Don't waste your life. There are plenty of more deserving people to love. The fall out from my ex ah drinking will carry on all my life and the lives of my children and their children. He has ruined all our lives. We are left shoveling up the pieces and trying to make something out of them. Looking back even the "better" was crumbs and yes it always get worse. My ex ah doesn't even get out of bed to use the toilet now. He drinks in it. Poos in it and urinates in it. He is never sober to talk to, eat or get a shower. Is that the life you want?
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Old 08-11-2015, 11:48 AM   #28 (permalink)
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I was what most people would consider "high functioning"--important job, nice car, nice apartment, no credit problems, never arrested, no dramatic medical problems. Inside, I knew my drinking was getting worse and worse and it was all on the verge of imploding. I quit before things got to the point that many people get to, but trust me, it was progressing on the inside even if it wasn't showing yet on the outside. The illusion of "functioning" was about to go *poof*.
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Old 08-12-2015, 03:18 AM   #29 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MEG2040333 View Post
Hope springs eternal.
But as I've read on here before, "hope is not a plan."

And it's true. You can waste your entire life, hoping, but w/o making any plans or taking any action to really and truly get the life you want and deserve, that's all it is, hopes and dreams.

Also, I hope the "high functioning" thing has been cleared up for you. So many people come here w/the same misunderstanding, that a "high functioning" A is somehow always going to remain that way and is a completely different animal from the stumbling, puking, jobless bums that they picture as A's. XAH is and has been high-functioning for years, but I suspect that when the bottom drops out, it is going to be catastrophic. The glimpses inside that I've had are exactly what Lexie said in her post--it's not showing on the outside yet (much) but inside, it's getting worse and worse. He is my "X" b/c I don't want to be standing anywhere near the crater that will form when (not if) that happens. It's not that I didn't, or don't, care--it's that I am NOT going to go down w/the ship. How would that be in anyone's best interests?
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