Strange Behavior
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Join Date: Jul 2015
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Strange Behavior
I should start out by saying I have very infrequent contact with my ex. He calls me about the kids and its all very civil just unpredictable because he is still all over the place with his drinking.
Ex called in the middle of the night. I normally don't answer but I was startled awake. Very strange conversation. He started talking about how he fixed the problem with our phones and saw that I called at
4 am. I didn't call him and we have no phone issues. It was a 2 minute conversation that made no sense. He wasn't aware that it was 1am. I even thought he called me thinking it was someone else.
This morning he called and wanted to know if I needed a ride home. He thought I had an anxiety attack, fell and hit my head and was at the hospital. Nothing like this has ever happened to me and I don't have anxiety attacks (amazing considering who I married). Then he kind of chuckled about strange dreams and blamed it on advil pm.
A while back, maybe 6 months ago he told me this detailed story about his neighbor coming over and saying he works in the field of addiction. He claimed the neighbor offered him support and blah blah blah. Later I asked about the neighbor and he told me it was all a dream.
My ex has a long history of excessive drinking. He's had BAC as high as .5 and last time I saw him his eyes were yellow. He has had some bad falls and ended up hospitalized. Obviously drinking impacts the brain. Can it cause hallucinations? He seems to have trouble distinguishing reality. Long ago I gave up asking about his health or encouraging him to see a doctor. He always claims to have just had a physical and be in top health. He has never given permission for his doctors to disclose medical info to me so I don't know much about his health. Counselors have told me his alcoholism is end stage.
Right now I have control over when and where he sees the kids. This is a big reason I haven't filed for divorce yet. That and I'm afraid how much it would cost to try for full custody and supervised visits for him. I really don't feel he is safe to be around the kids unsupervised. He makes these crazy phone calls then his phone will be dead for hours. This seems different from drunk behavior. I've seen plenty of that over the years.
Anyone else experienced this where the drinker has trouble with dreams vs. reality?
I know we can't give medical advice I guess I'm just wondering if anyone else deals with this.
Thanks for reading.
Ex called in the middle of the night. I normally don't answer but I was startled awake. Very strange conversation. He started talking about how he fixed the problem with our phones and saw that I called at
4 am. I didn't call him and we have no phone issues. It was a 2 minute conversation that made no sense. He wasn't aware that it was 1am. I even thought he called me thinking it was someone else.
This morning he called and wanted to know if I needed a ride home. He thought I had an anxiety attack, fell and hit my head and was at the hospital. Nothing like this has ever happened to me and I don't have anxiety attacks (amazing considering who I married). Then he kind of chuckled about strange dreams and blamed it on advil pm.
A while back, maybe 6 months ago he told me this detailed story about his neighbor coming over and saying he works in the field of addiction. He claimed the neighbor offered him support and blah blah blah. Later I asked about the neighbor and he told me it was all a dream.
My ex has a long history of excessive drinking. He's had BAC as high as .5 and last time I saw him his eyes were yellow. He has had some bad falls and ended up hospitalized. Obviously drinking impacts the brain. Can it cause hallucinations? He seems to have trouble distinguishing reality. Long ago I gave up asking about his health or encouraging him to see a doctor. He always claims to have just had a physical and be in top health. He has never given permission for his doctors to disclose medical info to me so I don't know much about his health. Counselors have told me his alcoholism is end stage.
Right now I have control over when and where he sees the kids. This is a big reason I haven't filed for divorce yet. That and I'm afraid how much it would cost to try for full custody and supervised visits for him. I really don't feel he is safe to be around the kids unsupervised. He makes these crazy phone calls then his phone will be dead for hours. This seems different from drunk behavior. I've seen plenty of that over the years.
Anyone else experienced this where the drinker has trouble with dreams vs. reality?
I know we can't give medical advice I guess I'm just wondering if anyone else deals with this.
Thanks for reading.
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 56
He has been known to take pills when he can get them. He just called again. I answer cuz it's like when you drive by an accident and you can't help but look. Just crazy talk but his demeanor is pleasant. Weird.
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I have heard something about elderly people that if you are diabetic and get a kidney urinary tract infection you can have some pretty strange reactions...releases something into your system that messes with your chemistry...dont know if this could be something...also second the ambien
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Sad thing is he's young, early 40's.
One time he was going to check into rehab. Everything was set. They required a breathalyzer and it had to be below .3 The counselor was amazed when he blew a .33 because he didn't seem impaired at all. She was the first person to try to explain to me just how serious his alcoholism is.
I try not to feel guilty at times like this. He is all alone. He isolated himself, no family nearby, no friends. He had countless affairs over the years but no one stuck around. He lives a good 45 minutes from me and what would I do anyway? I've reached my limit. If he can dial me up on the phone he can call for help if he needs it right?
One time he was going to check into rehab. Everything was set. They required a breathalyzer and it had to be below .3 The counselor was amazed when he blew a .33 because he didn't seem impaired at all. She was the first person to try to explain to me just how serious his alcoholism is.
I try not to feel guilty at times like this. He is all alone. He isolated himself, no family nearby, no friends. He had countless affairs over the years but no one stuck around. He lives a good 45 minutes from me and what would I do anyway? I've reached my limit. If he can dial me up on the phone he can call for help if he needs it right?
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Yeah, hallucinations at that level of intoxication would be very possible.
In a drug abuse class in college they taught us that the liver will process things in order of how toxic they are. So when a person mixes drugs/alcohol, the body prioritizes it from the most dangerous to the least.... for ex: first processing the cocaine, then the pills then the pot, the alcohol, the nicotine, caffeine, sugar, etc. on down the line to the most innocuous stuff like vitamins, fats, etc. While a person's liver is busy trying to detox the pills they took, everything else waits like a long line of traffic.... and generally that person continues drinking, adding more & more unprocessable toxins into their bloodstream.
BAC at THAT level could kill a person, anything around .40+ or so is getting into lack-of-consciousness territory & can be potentially fatal.
One night in college, my cousin & I got home late to find her dad at their kitchen table, obliterated, carrying on a full conversation with the radiator.
In a drug abuse class in college they taught us that the liver will process things in order of how toxic they are. So when a person mixes drugs/alcohol, the body prioritizes it from the most dangerous to the least.... for ex: first processing the cocaine, then the pills then the pot, the alcohol, the nicotine, caffeine, sugar, etc. on down the line to the most innocuous stuff like vitamins, fats, etc. While a person's liver is busy trying to detox the pills they took, everything else waits like a long line of traffic.... and generally that person continues drinking, adding more & more unprocessable toxins into their bloodstream.
BAC at THAT level could kill a person, anything around .40+ or so is getting into lack-of-consciousness territory & can be potentially fatal.
One night in college, my cousin & I got home late to find her dad at their kitchen table, obliterated, carrying on a full conversation with the radiator.
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Originally Posted by involved 
I have heard something about elderly people that if you are diabetic and get a kidney urinary tract infection you can have some pretty strange reactions...releases something into your system that messes with your chemistry...dont know if this could be something...also second the ambien
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If his eyes are yellow, he more than likely has serious liver damage, which can cause a condition called "hepatic encephalopathy." My second husband suffered from that for a time, and it caused him to behave exactly like someone suffering from Alzheimer's dementia. He said a lot of things that made no sense, had zero short-term memory.
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My ex would frequently drink until he was out of it. When we lived together, he would wake me up talking crazy talk about mundane stuff. He once yelled at me -- very angrily -- about misplacing a stick of butter on a bookshelf in the bedroom.
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If it weren't so sad I think I'd laugh at some of what he says. Its heartbreaking to think of what he achieved professionally and how he is now. Sad for the kids too especially our youngest who probably has no memories of her father sober.
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Rochester NY
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I have dealt with that with my children's father. It's very scary. I'm not sure how old your children are, but eventually my kids stopped visiting him; of course, that was not until they were older teens. Just make sure you educate the kids so they know how to call 911 if need be. Make sure they know there's always a plan and that you will be there. Make sure someone is available when you aren't. My kids phoned a neighbor when I was out of town and she came and got them. Sad, to live this way. By the way, a year and a half ago my children's father passed away from drinking.
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Blueeyedlady,
How sad. I'm sorry for your loss.
Thanks for the practical tips. It's so hard when the kids see him. Usually if he's in a heavy drinking phase he just fades out of the picture for a while. My oldest has a phone in case of emergencies.
How sad. I'm sorry for your loss.
Thanks for the practical tips. It's so hard when the kids see him. Usually if he's in a heavy drinking phase he just fades out of the picture for a while. My oldest has a phone in case of emergencies.
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He's actually called 2 more times and hasn't made sense. He seems unaware of the day or time. He thought I was outside once and then thought our daughter was upstairs talking to him. He has no upstairs.
And he sent a truly bizarre text.
And he sent a truly bizarre text.
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Join Date: May 2012
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If his eyes are yellow, please look up hepatic encephalopathy. This is exactly what I saw with one of my loved ones. Exactly. The confusion, disorientation, time/day/night confusion.
Please take good care of yourself and your children.
Please take good care of yourself and your children.
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Feeling Great,
I'm wondering the same thing. He has a history of falls, high blood pressure, and I think he's had seizures from withdrawal before. I would have to call in a well check. He has no one in his life that I know of. He claims he has a job but I'm doubtful. I don't have keys to his place.
I did look up hepatic encephalopathy. That certainly could be what is going on. It's scary.
I'm wondering the same thing. He has a history of falls, high blood pressure, and I think he's had seizures from withdrawal before. I would have to call in a well check. He has no one in his life that I know of. He claims he has a job but I'm doubtful. I don't have keys to his place.
I did look up hepatic encephalopathy. That certainly could be what is going on. It's scary.
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Join Date: May 2013
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Hi Lucy,
So sorry you are dealing with this. I know when my RAH was at a .3, he was seeing things and didn't know where he was most the time. He didn't know his name. At one point he had some AD meds and took those while drinking to those levels and it was very scary, I really thought I was going to come home and find that he had killed himself.
I know someone that works in a rehab facility and they see people that are your ex's age that have severe brain impairment from drinking so it is possible that he has done some irreparable damage.
You are in a tight space, and I really feel for you. This is your ex, who has nobody, but it is also the father of your kids. Are you in a place where you can call the police and have them do a well check? You can then remain distant from this but if he needs help then they will be able to provide it.
So sorry you are dealing with this. I know when my RAH was at a .3, he was seeing things and didn't know where he was most the time. He didn't know his name. At one point he had some AD meds and took those while drinking to those levels and it was very scary, I really thought I was going to come home and find that he had killed himself.
I know someone that works in a rehab facility and they see people that are your ex's age that have severe brain impairment from drinking so it is possible that he has done some irreparable damage.
You are in a tight space, and I really feel for you. This is your ex, who has nobody, but it is also the father of your kids. Are you in a place where you can call the police and have them do a well check? You can then remain distant from this but if he needs help then they will be able to provide it.
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