My lease is SIGNED!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,572
My lease is SIGNED!
Met with the landlord yesterday afternoon, and got all the paperwork signed. When I got into my car afterwards, I nearly cried from the relief of it all.
The apartment is available on September 1. It is perfect for us. Affordable, secure entry, even covered parking. I am not telling AH yet. If he has another full-on meltdown like he did in early June, I'm sure it will come out. Otherwise, my plan is to move some stuff quietly September 1-4 (boxes of photos, Christmas ornaments, the important paperwork I've had stored at my office for over a year, some of my daughters' things since he never pays attention to them or their stuff anyway), and then do the "big move" at some point over Labor Day weekend.
You all...I have no words for what this place and you people have meant to my life over the past few years.
The apartment is available on September 1. It is perfect for us. Affordable, secure entry, even covered parking. I am not telling AH yet. If he has another full-on meltdown like he did in early June, I'm sure it will come out. Otherwise, my plan is to move some stuff quietly September 1-4 (boxes of photos, Christmas ornaments, the important paperwork I've had stored at my office for over a year, some of my daughters' things since he never pays attention to them or their stuff anyway), and then do the "big move" at some point over Labor Day weekend.
You all...I have no words for what this place and you people have meant to my life over the past few years.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I have moved twice without telling the alcoholic exes (yes, two of them.) Both times I did it while they were gone. I didn't give any warning nor tell them where I went. One was violent, the other definitely had the ability to become violent. I wasn't going to chance it.
I have also helped move a woman who did the same thing.
There is value in not telling him. There is value in not giving him your new location. Just a thought - in case you fear the meltdown. I'll send up a prayer that it all goes quietly and peacefully, regardless of how you go.
I have also helped move a woman who did the same thing.
There is value in not telling him. There is value in not giving him your new location. Just a thought - in case you fear the meltdown. I'll send up a prayer that it all goes quietly and peacefully, regardless of how you go.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,572
Legally, I will not be able to withhold my address from him once we move. There is no protective order, nor are there grounds for a protective order, that would permit me to hide our son from him. So while I will not be trumpeting my plans in the coming weeks, I will have to tell him my destination when I move. Which is fine. My concern is not that he'll become violent when I go. It is more that he will be a passive aggressive jerk for the next 5 weeks in front of the kids if he knows I'm leaving.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Congrats! Do you have a lawyer advising you? I forget.
You might want to have papers ready to file giving you temporary custody of the kids--otherwise you might run into problems even if he knows where they are. He could legally pick them up from school and not bring them back.
You might want to have papers ready to file giving you temporary custody of the kids--otherwise you might run into problems even if he knows where they are. He could legally pick them up from school and not bring them back.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
LOL, I like that, "recovering lawyer." I guess that's what I am, too, since I'm not actively practicing right now (though that may change if we start filing our own amicus briefs).
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