Question about meetings
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Join Date: Jan 2015
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Question about meetings
In my area I have literally 100's of meetings to choose from. I'd like to find an Alanon and an open AA meeting. I have been to many websites to find out schedules and all, but so many are kind of vague about the type of crowd going, or if it is "open", or if it highly religious in nature (which I'm not interested in)....
Does anyone know what "open discussion" means? Does that mean that the meeting is "open"?
Does anyone know what "speaker 1st week" means? Does that mean I have to speak if it's my first time?
Would it be weird to just show up and walk out if I don't feel comfortable? lol...
Does anyone know what "open discussion" means? Does that mean that the meeting is "open"?
Does anyone know what "speaker 1st week" means? Does that mean I have to speak if it's my first time?
Would it be weird to just show up and walk out if I don't feel comfortable? lol...
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Join Date: Jul 2010
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"Open discussion" means the meeting is open.
"Speaker 1st Week" means the first meeting of the month they have a speaker invited.
You are free to come and go as you like, but don't be too surprised if someone follows you out to try to get you to come back in (thinking you're an alcoholic)--nobody would drag ANYBODY back in, but it isn't unusual for AAs to try to connect with another alcoholic who might be getting cold feet.
And the only way to know how "religious" a meeting is, is to sit through it. And the same group will vary week to week depending on who shows up. I always think of AA meetings as a good place to practice tolerance. My sitting there and listening does not imply I (or anyone else) agrees with everything said.
"Speaker 1st Week" means the first meeting of the month they have a speaker invited.
You are free to come and go as you like, but don't be too surprised if someone follows you out to try to get you to come back in (thinking you're an alcoholic)--nobody would drag ANYBODY back in, but it isn't unusual for AAs to try to connect with another alcoholic who might be getting cold feet.
And the only way to know how "religious" a meeting is, is to sit through it. And the same group will vary week to week depending on who shows up. I always think of AA meetings as a good place to practice tolerance. My sitting there and listening does not imply I (or anyone else) agrees with everything said.
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Oh, and one other thing--if you aren't an alcoholic it isn't appropriate to "share" at an AA meeting (though you are welcome to be there and to chat with folks after the meeting). And the same would be true for anyone visiting an open Al-Anon meeting.
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Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Nebraska
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Open simply means anyone is welcome. There will be someone leading the mtg which means they will intro a topic for discussion (hence the "discussion" label.). When it's time to introduce yourself just say your name and whatever you want to say about being there, if abything (i.e. "I'm here to learn more about someone I care about " or simply "I'm just here to listen".) Some mtgs are "closed" which means that anyone identifying them self as an alcoholic is welcome. Visitors should stick with open meetings.
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I tried to get a questioning philosophic AA group up and running once....
They just didn't like it, preferring the absolutes of the BB and Bill's other mass
publications.After two years I decided AA wasn't for me. If it helps others with their drink problems that's good of course. As for other 'life issues': help there is an added bonus.
They just didn't like it, preferring the absolutes of the BB and Bill's other mass
publications.After two years I decided AA wasn't for me. If it helps others with their drink problems that's good of course. As for other 'life issues': help there is an added bonus.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
as lexie said, open meeting means anyone is welcome - a CLOSED meeting would be for alcoholics only.
you never HAVE to speak at a meeting. if called on, you can say "thanks just here to listen today" and that is that.
AA is NOT a religious organization - there IS talk of a God or a Higher Power but it is not the central theme. a person in their own share may reference the God of their understanding, but it isn't a bully pulpit to promote any single ideology.
while you of course free to come and go as you wish, out of respect i would perhaps sit and listen with an objective ear......it is amazing what you hear at a meeting.
you never HAVE to speak at a meeting. if called on, you can say "thanks just here to listen today" and that is that.
AA is NOT a religious organization - there IS talk of a God or a Higher Power but it is not the central theme. a person in their own share may reference the God of their understanding, but it isn't a bully pulpit to promote any single ideology.
while you of course free to come and go as you wish, out of respect i would perhaps sit and listen with an objective ear......it is amazing what you hear at a meeting.
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Join Date: Jul 2010
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Originally Posted by AnvilheadII 
while you of course free to come and go as you wish, out of respect i would perhaps sit and listen with an objective ear......it is amazing what you hear at a meeting.
I've heard things that tick me off. VERY rarely I will share (without cross-talk--not directing my comments to any individual) when I think something has been grossly misstated. But one of the cool things about AA, from my perspective, is that it gives you the chance to hear all the different views and experiences people have. And it really DOES help build tolerance.
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: MD
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The open AA meetings around here dont mind non-AA shares though its important to be respectful of the topic, venue and program. As an alanon I don't go to closed AA meetings.
My alanon sponsor suggested going to to AA meegings- I go to a regular one (12-and-12 format) and limit my shares there to the topic where it coincides with the alanon program.
Concur with the "just listening tonight" response if you're not inclined to share. If you walk out (agree- always OK to do that) and someone follows, perhaps you could say "I'm looking for a different sort of meeting, thanks".
My alanon sponsor suggested going to to AA meegings- I go to a regular one (12-and-12 format) and limit my shares there to the topic where it coincides with the alanon program.
Concur with the "just listening tonight" response if you're not inclined to share. If you walk out (agree- always OK to do that) and someone follows, perhaps you could say "I'm looking for a different sort of meeting, thanks".
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Originally Posted by Bubovski
I tried to get a questioning philosophic AA group up and running once....
They just didn't like it, preferring the absolutes of the BB and Bill's other mass
publications.After two years I decided AA wasn't for me. If it helps others with their drink problems that's good of course. As for other 'life issues': help there is an added bonus.
They just didn't like it, preferring the absolutes of the BB and Bill's other mass
publications.After two years I decided AA wasn't for me. If it helps others with their drink problems that's good of course. As for other 'life issues': help there is an added bonus.
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: West Coast
Posts: 774
Originally Posted by AnvilheadII
as lexie said, open meeting means anyone is welcome - a CLOSED meeting would be for alcoholics only.
you never HAVE to speak at a meeting. if called on, you can say "thanks just here to listen today" and that is that.
AA is NOT a religious organization - there IS talk of a God or a Higher Power but it is not the central theme. a person in their own share may reference the God of their understanding, but it isn't a bully pulpit to promote any single ideology.
while you of course free to come and go as you wish, out of respect i would perhaps sit and listen with an objective ear......it is amazing what you hear at a meeting.
you never HAVE to speak at a meeting. if called on, you can say "thanks just here to listen today" and that is that.
AA is NOT a religious organization - there IS talk of a God or a Higher Power but it is not the central theme. a person in their own share may reference the God of their understanding, but it isn't a bully pulpit to promote any single ideology.
while you of course free to come and go as you wish, out of respect i would perhaps sit and listen with an objective ear......it is amazing what you hear at a meeting.
I totally don't mind God talk or church talk, btw... but if I'm gonna be serious about my own journey, I can't be labeling "Christian" onto it. Agnostic probably describes me best... even though I don't really care what kind of label I officially get!
Anyway...
Thank you everyone! Not sure what I'll find or if I'll feel I need it... but I'm going to Alanon for the first time tonight and keeping an open mind! Yay!
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
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Yeah, I can guarantee that the location of the meeting has nothing to do with its format or the beliefs of the members. Churches have traditionally offered low-rent meeting space to AA and Al-Anon groups. All groups DO pay rent to the church--not a large sum, but something. But there is no difference between a group that meets at a Catholic church versus one meeting at a hospital or someplace else--at least nothing about its "religiosity." AA is considered a spiritual program, not a religious one. Individual members who are religious naturally tend to view their spiritual progress through the lens of their religion, but that is the individual, not AA. I know Jewish, Buddhist, Catholic, Protestant, agnostic, and atheist AA members, and they tend to be scattered in proportion to their numbers in most of the groups I attend. And there are a ton of people whose personal religious beliefs I have no clue about because they don't talk about them in meetings. They will talk "Higher Power" or "God" but nothing more specific than that.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
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AA meetings are held all over the world and in every conceivable type of structure. There are meetings at my place of employment, in a conference room - breakfast meetings held at restaurants - meetings held in jails and institutions - meetings in church basement - parks. basically any time two alcoholics meet together to talk recovery is a meeting.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
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Originally Posted by AnvilheadII
AA meetings are held all over the world and in every conceivable type of structure. There are meetings at my place of employment, in a conference room - breakfast meetings held at restaurants - meetings held in jails and institutions - meetings in church basement - parks. basically any time two alcoholics meet together to talk recovery is a meeting.
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So I went to an Alanon meeting...
It was cool... nothing I couldn't get from just coming onto SR. And the thing I dreaded about running into someone I knew happened. BUT, I have always really like this woman, so if anything, I was just surprised to see her there. The meeting ran waaaaay over what I thought so I was late coming home to make dinner, so THAT kind of puts a damper on that particular one, but I did feel really comfortable there. LOTS of laughter... lots of joking... I even shared.
The subject was 'surrender' and what it means to you...
I liked it enough to go back next week. =)
It was cool... nothing I couldn't get from just coming onto SR. And the thing I dreaded about running into someone I knew happened. BUT, I have always really like this woman, so if anything, I was just surprised to see her there. The meeting ran waaaaay over what I thought so I was late coming home to make dinner, so THAT kind of puts a damper on that particular one, but I did feel really comfortable there. LOTS of laughter... lots of joking... I even shared.
The subject was 'surrender' and what it means to you...
I liked it enough to go back next week. =)
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
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A lot of what you hear WILL mirror what you hear at SR, but there is something about being in the ACTUAL company of others who get it that is very powerful.
Most meeting lists specify the length of the meeting (typically one hour or 90 minutes), and MOST meetings start and end on the dot--people don't usually get cut off in mid-share (unless they've gone on and on), but when that happens the meeting usually wraps up as soon as possible. Lots of folks hang out and chat for a while after, though, or go out to a diner or something. Sometimes these "meetings-after-the-meeting" are even better than the formal meeting.
Most meeting lists specify the length of the meeting (typically one hour or 90 minutes), and MOST meetings start and end on the dot--people don't usually get cut off in mid-share (unless they've gone on and on), but when that happens the meeting usually wraps up as soon as possible. Lots of folks hang out and chat for a while after, though, or go out to a diner or something. Sometimes these "meetings-after-the-meeting" are even better than the formal meeting.
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Yes, that's about right... Except on ANY of the listings I could find for my area, there was no specification for time.. unless, maybe I just read it wrong? lol...
This one did take a coffee break in the middle, and I got to talk one on one with a few of the members... it was nice. I do really appreciate being able to talk to people about all of this; I AM going back. And, I left smiling...
My thinking is that when my xabf gets back from deployment, he will be around 90 days sober then, and I feel that I need to double my efforts with my resolve to continue on the right path for ME, no matter what he does when he gets back. I've got a lot of hope for him, but who knows what will happen. All I know is that I am not interested in going backwards!
This one did take a coffee break in the middle, and I got to talk one on one with a few of the members... it was nice. I do really appreciate being able to talk to people about all of this; I AM going back. And, I left smiling...
My thinking is that when my xabf gets back from deployment, he will be around 90 days sober then, and I feel that I need to double my efforts with my resolve to continue on the right path for ME, no matter what he does when he gets back. I've got a lot of hope for him, but who knows what will happen. All I know is that I am not interested in going backwards!
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