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Left AH and Filing for Divorce

Old 07-23-2015, 12:22 PM
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I cannot stay in the house. The house is not considered marital property, as it is in his mother's name. The attorney said that I had to be the one to leave.

Sue
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Old 07-23-2015, 12:29 PM
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Originally Posted by LivingLife4Me View Post
I cannot stay in the house. The house is not considered marital property, as it is in his mother's name. The attorney said that I had to be the one to leave. Sue
I was told that also because the home is only in my husbands name. The judge doesn't care who's name the home is in when he issues the order of protection. And it states on my order that regardless of who's name it is in, the kids and I have full and sole use of said property. Also, I spoke to about three or four attorneys that told me I had to claim or rights to the home. But I finally had an attorney ask me the right questions and yes I do have a right to it. You may also because it was used for the purpose of the marriage. Depending if you have a job or not, the judge won't allow you to be thrown out with no where to go and no way to pay for it. Your husband will try to say all kinds of bs. Do not listen to him. I would search online for your rights in your state and maybe speak to another attorney and double check what you have been told. What about your kids??? How old are they? Don't you have a right to go get them and your clothes and belongings? I would take a police escort with me, but I would go and get the things I need.
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Old 07-23-2015, 12:51 PM
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Exactly. The order is to protect you, and if that is your HOME (regardless of whose name is on the deed), he can be forced to leave on at least a temporary basis. He is the abuser, you are the victim/mom with the kids who have been living this nightmare with you. You might want to call a victim advocate at your local DV shelter. Not all matrimonial attorneys know the ins and outs of protective orders, but advocates do.
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Old 07-23-2015, 04:35 PM
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My AH wasn't the only one that was abusive. It was also my mother in law. Since it is her property that the house is on, and she resides on the property in a different house, the attorney said I could not stay for my safety. I will be getting protective orders for both of them.

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Old 07-23-2015, 05:54 PM
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What does your lawyer say about the kids? Where are you staying now?
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Old 07-23-2015, 06:18 PM
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he can't say I abandoned the kids because he threw me out of the .house. The kids are 16, 15, and 11. The attorney said that the kids can stay there until at least the hearing. I am scrambling to find a place quickly so that I have somewhere for us to go.

Sue
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Old 07-23-2015, 06:24 PM
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Good luck--I hope you can find someplace quickly. This is another way that calling the shelter might help. They are often able to help find housing for victims who have to leave their homes due to abuse, even if you don't ever stay at the shelter. The Advocacy Unit at the prosecutor's office where I used to work would collect furniture and other necessities to help set up new homes for women who had to leave with their kids. I donated a bunch of things when I cleaned out some old furniture etc. that I had.

Hopefully you can also get child support (and maybe even temporary spousal support), which will help with expenses. Do you have a job or other income?
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Old 07-23-2015, 06:29 PM
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I agree find another attorney. Thoughts and prayers are with you.
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Old 07-24-2015, 11:19 AM
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Lexi has really good advice in this type of situation. She works in this area and is very knowledgable with this. I can only tell you from my own personal experience. And I had plenty of people that should know better give me wrong information. I even had a woman that handed me the signed order in the courthouse that worked for the judge tell me that the judge only signed part of the order and that my husband would see what I had written and would be allowed back in the house. She was wrong! The judge signed the whole order and my AH was not allowed back in the home. I had an attorney that I had gone to previously and had seen the results of the physical abuse on me, tell me after he looked the protective order over and charged me $500, to call my AH and try to work things out with him. He never should have told me to call him and this attorney had seen me throughout the years with physical abuse scars, bruises etc. I went to another very highly respected attorney who told me to put a tape recorder in my bra and try to provoke my AH and get it on tape. I just looked at him in disbelief and told him I would be killed and no I was not doing that! My point is, there are a lot of people in positions they should not be in and even though they have reputations for knowing what they are talking about they don't sometimes. You have to be your own advocate and listen to your gut, research as much for yourself as you can and stand up for your rights and the rights of your children. Abusers are known to turn children against their mothers. You have got to try and get those kids out of there. Even living in a shelter safely is better than living in a mansion with an abuser. Hugs!!! Be strong you can do this!
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Old 07-31-2015, 05:01 AM
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The divorce paperwork has been filed with the county,and now I'm waiting for the clerks to process it and get it back to the servers. He has not been served yet.

I am going to see the kids today. I am going back Tuesday into the area permanently, to an extended stay place, until I can get a place.

One step at a time!

Sue
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Old 07-31-2015, 08:43 AM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by LivingLife4Me View Post
The divorce paperwork has been filed with the county,and now I'm waiting for the clerks to process it and get it back to the servers. He has not been served yet.

I am going to see the kids today. I am going back Tuesday into the area permanently, to an extended stay place, until I can get a place.

One step at a time!

Sue
Excellent, Sue!!! Yes indeed one step closer to your new freed, your new LIFE away from that monster!!
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