honeypig

Good morning, folks--I've worked w/a particular woman at my job since Monday. She is to be teaching me her route (medical courier, lab specimen pickup job). She is HORRIBLE. She thinks I am there to steal her job and is making things as difficult for me as possible. She complains b/c I walk too fast and I "need to slow down on this job", then she drives like a freaking maniac, cursing all those around her for driving too slow! Yikes, the vibes are truly horrific...

The good news is I only have 2 more days w/her. However, today and tomorrow I am to be driving the car, handling the handheld device and doing the paperwork--essentially doing the job, w/her there for reference. I am 99% sure she will be grabbing the handheld, writing on the paperwork, complaining about my driving and my choice of routes and making fun of my organizational system (I have done driving/delivery work for many years, am not an idiot, and have a system that seldom fails me!).

I'd really like to work my way thru the day methodically and calmly, putting all the pieces together and finding out what I don't know and need to ask questions about. I so do not think this will happen. Can anyone offer me suggestions on how I can politely get her to back off and let me find my way? Or do I just have to grit my teeth and let it roll off?

Thanks for any thoughts!

biminiblue

Pray for her?


That sorta sounds flip. I don't mean it that way, but that is the only answer I can come up with.

And a little Serenity Prayer for you. You'll make it through.

firebolt

Yikes - lots of deep breaths...

"I know you have your way and it's great, but I've been doing this this way and it really works for me!" "I appreciate all your help but I'm ready and would like to try this for myself."

Good luck. If Sober Recovery wasn't the forum this thread is in, I'd recommend a decent glass of wine after work to treat yourself for remaining calm.

honeypig

Thanks, both of you!

Bimini, that is pretty much what it's been so far, is the Serenity Prayer. I am new and nobody knows me, so I know there's not a lot I can do but put up w/it. If I'd been there a year or two, I could suggest they not use this woman for training (for god's sake, she flipped someone off while we were in the logo'ed company vehicle yesterday!), but I have no credibility or standing yet.

Firebolt, thanks, those are both useful things to say. She may or may not honor my request, but it's a polite way to ask.

Wish me well, and thanks, folks.

FireSprite

Kill her with kindness? (and do a silent countdown of the hours left to work alongside her?)

Best of luck HP, she sounds positively charming!

biminiblue

hm. I think I'd report that flip-off. Otherwise, someone else (you) might take the blame. That's really bad business.

honeypig

Believe me, this occurred to me--it's the horns of a dilemma. If I say nothing and there is a complaint, the door is open for her to blame it on me. If I DO say something, and I choose the wrong person to talk to, I may not be believed and/or it may get back to her that I reported her. I fear a bad outcome either way...

FireSprite

I'll never forget the call I got one day when I worked managing a construction office - they wanted me to know that 2 of our trucks had been speeding down a busy road in midday traffic hurling syrup packages from McD's at each other. They were poking holes in the top of the foil & winging them at each other's windshields (between a pickup & a dump truck). I didn't even know how to respond.

honeypig

What goes thru some people's MINDS??!!??

LexieCat

I don't think I'd be reporting a coworker my first week on a new job, unless you witnessed a crime or something.

I think I'd suck it up until next week. You also don't want her reporting back to someone that you refused to take direction/suggestions, etc. Just smile and figure out how you'll do it once you're on your own.

Hawkeye13

What Lexie said

Just let it roll off and she'll be out of your face soon.
You lived with a drunk--you can handle most any kind of shite

TalenCrowhaven

Tell her you would like to videotape your training, so that you may "crique" it later.

tbeit

Why dont you just be honest with her. I would be very frank something like"look I'm not here to take your job. I'm not that kind of person" then say "please dont flip off other drivers while I'm driving it makes me uncomfortable"

I find when you are frank and honest with people they respond well. If she doesnt like it she'll probably be uncomfortable that you were so real with her. Thats just me not telling you what to do

INgal

You could not be blamed for flipping someone off since they know you couldn't have been driving. I would write down a detailed report of all of the occurrences...kind of like a driving log. If need be, you would have it as a reference.
I have a feeling other people have witnessed her behavior in other situations. It's hard to hide an entire personality!

gleefan

You're the captive audience of a toxic person! When I'm aggravated it's hard for me not to see red. However I am finding that serenity prayer works wonders or remembering the 3 C's. It won't make your trainer's behavior any different but it may give you the perspective you need to remain calm and focused. Good luck!

LifeRecovery

Honey-

I agree with all posts above.

I am curious and have a question.

Is it common for your to get yourself into these kind of "stuck" situations or is this a one time kind of thing?

As I got better more of these started coming up in my life. They have been a great opportunity for me to learn to "do" it a little differently (whatever that looks like).

I have no idea if they happened so often before (I suspect they did) but that I was just numb to this kind of stuff and could not recognize it.

Lilro

I also would kill her with kindness ( while gritting my teeth of course) Good luck!!

Bookaboo2

A comment that I use a lot is the beautiful thing about living in America is freedom of choice bc its a democracy. (then smile). Then say the world would be a pretty boring place if all did things the same. Don't forget to smile and if all else fails my go to comment is lets just agree to disagree

honeypig

I want to thank all of you for your input and support! What a great crew we have here.

Things actually did not go too badly. I did tell her at the start of the day that I'd find it the most helpful if she could let me kind of find my own way and own routine, and only stop me if I was doing something seriously wrong, i.e., leaving w/o picking up all specimens or the like. I said "please let me bump my head today; that's how I'll find out what I don't know and I'll have you here to fill me in."

And yes, at one point I did come right out and say "you know, I'm NOT here to take your job--I was hired as the fill-in person to handle vacation, sick days and open routes when someone has quit and a new person is not hired yet." I don't know if she believed me or not, but that in fact is the truth.

So the day went pretty well, actually, and I used my detachment tools when it seemed appropriate--"oh, OK, I'll remember that", "sure, that sounds like a good idea", etc. And by some miracle, I am NOT with her tomorrow, so that bullet is dodged...

LifeRecovery, I also feel that I'm in those type of situations less than I used to be. I have definitely gotten better at how to deal w/them, but clearly I still have a ways to go.

Hawkeye, your post made me laugh!

Again, thanks so much to all who took the time and energy to reply.

Mango blast

Honeypig, so glad you had a good day! Wonderfully done, with much grace. Great reminders for me to open my mind to making a potentially hard day better.

Congrats on the reprieve tomorrow. May it go well, also!