amy55

So this weekend I went to a wedding. It was my 2nd cousins 2nd wedding within 3 years. I didn't go to the first wedding. It was too close to where my ex lived, and I really thought my car would go auto pilot on me then if I saw him, and I would have run him over.

So I am doing a lot better now, plus, my ex moved out of NJ to NC. So I went to this one.

So this time I drove the 2 hrs to my sisters house, so that I could stay with her. It was still an hour drive from there to the wedding. Wall Township NJ. Don't know if I talked about my sis too much here. All I can say is that for at least the last 15 years I have supplied here with something to wear to these occasions. She usually waits till I have something for at least 1 occasion, then she will ask to borrow it, and I'll never see it again.

Decided to be nice this time. I did buy several summer dresses. Told her she could have her pick out of any of them, including what I was wearing. So why am I posting this?

My sis put on weight but still wants to talk about how flat chested I am and that she weighs less then me. I do know my sis weighs more then more by about 30 - 40 lbs. The dresses that I brought over covers many sizes. I also brought over the one she borrowed from me about 5 years ago as a back up dress. She struggled to get into each one of them, but I did have one that was a little bigger, and she wore that and she looked beautiful.

She then wanted to "fix me". He wanted to use her flat iron on my hair to straighten my hair, and she wanted to at put make up on me. My hair is somewhat long, and I always let it dry natural. I don't use heat on my hair or even most times a blow dryer. But whatever, I wouldn't let her touch my hair. She hates that I wear it in a ponytail. I don't know, but I don't ever think I wanted her opinion, I just wanted her to wear something new and to feel special.

I was getting these "digs" from her all night long. She is another one who re writes history, and I have learned to just keep quiet to see what in her imagination, I did that time. It's like the worst times that she can think of where she might have effed up, the worst the ending of the story is for me. So I dealt with that all day.

The wedding was wonderful. I was worried about that because this 2nd cousin of mine, the first wedding that I didn't go to was horrible, no one had a good thing to say about it. It was at a bowling alley, then go to an arcade room, and then and then, etc....

The wedding was an outdoor wedding. It was by a lake, and the sitting area was in an open building with picnic tables. There was a lot of grass and places for the kids, (1 to age 40 to play). There was frisbie, water balloons, possible horse shoes, buffet dinner, room to dance, terrific DJ, and surprisingly, no bugs.

Dam, would you know it, my sister was just really annoyed the entire time. One of my cousins started to talk to me. She said that she was a little upset that her children, not young children, are not invited to these things. I thought about it, and she was right. See, I grew up in Bayonne NJ. My whole family lived there. We always had parties, and we were always together, even vacationed together. This cousin left Bayonne, still was in NJ, but we were losing contact with her. It was then we were inviting her to things but not her kids, once they got married. I was feeling bad about this, because there was no reason for that.

I started to really think about this today. It's like I know my son got married last year, he invited my cousin, but didn't invite her children, (now adults), I understand that. He never met them.

Then I started thinking of starting an annual family reunion, because there are others also this could have happened to.

I called my sister today to talk about this, and she exploded on me. All I was thinking was one time a year, find a spot, or rent a section of a park and invite anyone and everyone in the family, and if they come they come if they don't they don't.

She yelled at me for about 15 minutes about how she can't be involved in anything, and she doesn't understand anything, and why now, and why this, and that she just talked to my mom, and my mom already heard about this, and that I am just upsetting everything.

I couldn't listen to her anymore and told her I had an incoming phone call from my son.

Thing is, we never had a problem with this family, we just really lost touch. I still plan to try to do something for a family reunion, she (my sis) can come to it or not. I think in a way by me planning this that she might feel that this might interfere with her daughters destination wedding.

I think sometimes even though I live 2 to 3 hours away from things, I think I would prefer to drive that in one day then to stay over and expect or think that I might have a normal time.

amy