Need some help
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Somewhere in, Ohio
Posts: 3
Need some help
k, I'm new here, and i found the site while looking for advice for my mom, so here goes nothing. My mom has always been crazy, didn't ever need alcohol to be her crazy, slightly embaressing self. But ever since my dad took a retirement package from his job two years ago, she's been getting drunk. a lot. My dad and I decided she was just worried about him getting another job and she'd stop as soon as he did. Well, he started working again almost a year ago and she's still drinking. dad's tried talking to her, she just gets mad. closest she's come to admiting she has a problem is saying wine makes her a "little crazy". Even my 10 year old brother has noticed somethings wrong. I dont know wut to do, she just gets mad when we try to get her to stop drinking when we're out or when someone tries to talk to her about it. Is there anything i can do?
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: In Search of Finding ME!
Posts: 1,246
First of all, welcome to SR. You'll find a lot of wonderful people here as well as some amazing posts if you read through the site.
Secondly - You cannot get your mother or anyone else to quit drinking. No one can make your mother stop drinking except your mother. She has to truly want to stop and she will have to be the one to do the work to make that a reality.
I've heard that "Admitting you have a problem is the first step" when it comes to an alcoholic's road to recovery. It doesn't sound to me that your mother is admitting that she really has a problem.
When approached with the idea of her having a problem and her denying it - well, that's normal. No alcoholic wants to admit that they are powerless over alcohol - they don't want to admit that they are addicted - they live in a state of denial.
Alcoholics are also great at blaming others for thier drinking.
Have you ever heard of Alanon? Most people don't want to take the step to go to a meeting - but they can be very great for those that know, love, care, and deal with an alcoholic. I'd recommend that you and your father attend a meeting.
Secondly - You cannot get your mother or anyone else to quit drinking. No one can make your mother stop drinking except your mother. She has to truly want to stop and she will have to be the one to do the work to make that a reality.
I've heard that "Admitting you have a problem is the first step" when it comes to an alcoholic's road to recovery. It doesn't sound to me that your mother is admitting that she really has a problem.
When approached with the idea of her having a problem and her denying it - well, that's normal. No alcoholic wants to admit that they are powerless over alcohol - they don't want to admit that they are addicted - they live in a state of denial.
Alcoholics are also great at blaming others for thier drinking.
Have you ever heard of Alanon? Most people don't want to take the step to go to a meeting - but they can be very great for those that know, love, care, and deal with an alcoholic. I'd recommend that you and your father attend a meeting.
Dancing To My Own Beat
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: I don't know what kind of state I'm in
Posts: 1,326
Hey Chlojo,
Welcome to SR.
There is a lot of love and support here. Your mom may or may not find help, but you can find recovery for yourself. This is a wonderfully supportive forum. Many members here are members of Al-Anon. Through meetings, literature and support, I have been able to find serenity and happiness while dealing with alcoholism and all of life's challenges. The best way to help a family member that I have found is to seek recovery for myself. Only the alcoholic can choose to help themself, but recovery of the family can give them hope and the realization that there is another way.
I am glad you joined us. Please feel free to browse the forums, post, or reply. Don't miss the power posts at the top of the forum.
To find an Al-Anon meeting http://www.al-anon-alateen.org/ and select "Find A Meeting."
Hugs, Magic
Welcome to SR.
There is a lot of love and support here. Your mom may or may not find help, but you can find recovery for yourself. This is a wonderfully supportive forum. Many members here are members of Al-Anon. Through meetings, literature and support, I have been able to find serenity and happiness while dealing with alcoholism and all of life's challenges. The best way to help a family member that I have found is to seek recovery for myself. Only the alcoholic can choose to help themself, but recovery of the family can give them hope and the realization that there is another way.
I am glad you joined us. Please feel free to browse the forums, post, or reply. Don't miss the power posts at the top of the forum.
To find an Al-Anon meeting http://www.al-anon-alateen.org/ and select "Find A Meeting."
Hugs, Magic
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