ex brithday and no contact
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 157
ex brithday and no contact
Hi all,
It has been over 3 months since I have talked with my exabf of 11 years. He sent me a happy birthday in June . Yesterday was his Birthday , I struggled with the decision to send him a note or not. In the end I decided not to contact him. I thought hard about the ramifications of either contacting or not. I am proud of my self awareness regarding hurting myself , wondering if he will respond, what if he just responds with a thank you ? will he resume contact? ect.. , If I don't send a note , witl he: Think I am over him? Will he think that if he gets to a healthy point am I no longer interested in him? , Will I hurt him? ect.... . To be perfectly honest , I do want to reconcile with him , but only if we both are in a strong recovery program and working diligently. I thought that after three months I would be over him. Guess not! It is so hard , after having someone in my life for so long, just to not speak with him. I just want to see how he is , I MISS him!
It has been over 3 months since I have talked with my exabf of 11 years. He sent me a happy birthday in June . Yesterday was his Birthday , I struggled with the decision to send him a note or not. In the end I decided not to contact him. I thought hard about the ramifications of either contacting or not. I am proud of my self awareness regarding hurting myself , wondering if he will respond, what if he just responds with a thank you ? will he resume contact? ect.. , If I don't send a note , witl he: Think I am over him? Will he think that if he gets to a healthy point am I no longer interested in him? , Will I hurt him? ect.... . To be perfectly honest , I do want to reconcile with him , but only if we both are in a strong recovery program and working diligently. I thought that after three months I would be over him. Guess not! It is so hard , after having someone in my life for so long, just to not speak with him. I just want to see how he is , I MISS him!
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,022
Good job for sticking with the no contact!
I know it is hard to not call or text, and I know you THINK you miss him.
When I go through this, I grab some paper and write down several reasons WHY I'm doing what I'm doing. WHY I decided to go no contact. What their behavior did to me and so on. I find that remembering the pain can be beneficial at times. Very few times, but when it comes to the alcoholic and making contact again, please remember these times, for your own good.
Hugs
I know it is hard to not call or text, and I know you THINK you miss him.
When I go through this, I grab some paper and write down several reasons WHY I'm doing what I'm doing. WHY I decided to go no contact. What their behavior did to me and so on. I find that remembering the pain can be beneficial at times. Very few times, but when it comes to the alcoholic and making contact again, please remember these times, for your own good.
Hugs
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