some days....you just gotta cry
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Join Date: Mar 2014
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some days....you just gotta cry
I realized today, as I was looking over some chemistry material (that alone is enough to send me to tears) that I haven't cried in a long time. Then suddenly, I was overwhelmed with the urge to just break down. It's like my heart was saying, "look- you need a release".
Back when RAH was drinking all the time and I was in the thick of school and hysterectomy....well hell I cried all the time. No problem with that.
Man, you guys.....
I've been doing some serious soul seaching lately (as in the past 6-7 months).....I just never realized how much I constantly neglected myself as a human being. I restricted myself from self-love. I mean that literally. Self-love was IMO a selfish act and I did not have the luxury of such things...so I denied myself.
Now, I'm over a year into therapy. I'm getting better and I realized that taking care of me is one of the greatest acts of love I can give my children, my family, etc. It leaves me softer, more humble, more flexible, less likely to fly off the handle, less likely to hold resentments, easier to detach, feeling safer, feeling confident, more in tune with reality, more present, and overall brings so much love in my heart.
So even when my heart is telling me it's time to cry-- well I guess I should listen.
I think sometimes we try so hard to be rescuers and to be strong that we feel that self-love is a weakness. I have learned that is sooo not accurate.
Even if it is just allowing yourself to cry-- listen to your heart. Love yourself and just cry.
And with that I shall return misty eyed, back to my chemistry!
Hugs to everyone today!
Back when RAH was drinking all the time and I was in the thick of school and hysterectomy....well hell I cried all the time. No problem with that.
Man, you guys.....
I've been doing some serious soul seaching lately (as in the past 6-7 months).....I just never realized how much I constantly neglected myself as a human being. I restricted myself from self-love. I mean that literally. Self-love was IMO a selfish act and I did not have the luxury of such things...so I denied myself.
Now, I'm over a year into therapy. I'm getting better and I realized that taking care of me is one of the greatest acts of love I can give my children, my family, etc. It leaves me softer, more humble, more flexible, less likely to fly off the handle, less likely to hold resentments, easier to detach, feeling safer, feeling confident, more in tune with reality, more present, and overall brings so much love in my heart.
So even when my heart is telling me it's time to cry-- well I guess I should listen.
I think sometimes we try so hard to be rescuers and to be strong that we feel that self-love is a weakness. I have learned that is sooo not accurate.
Even if it is just allowing yourself to cry-- listen to your heart. Love yourself and just cry.
And with that I shall return misty eyed, back to my chemistry!
Hugs to everyone today!
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