Talking to my ex
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Texas
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Talking to my ex
So my therapist advised that a great way to get all my feelings out is to put a picture of my ex in a chair and pretend he's here. I plan on doing this tonight after the girls are in bed. I know I have a lot of anger that I need to let out-I've put myself in timeout a few times today to keep my cool. Not like me so I know I need to do this. I'm heartbroken, angry and deeply unhappy with him. He is so much better than what he's turned into and what he's done-I still believe that. I have to believe that. I plan on telling him all the things I never could because he would either laugh at me, sneer at me, yell at me or throw my sins in my face to deflect from talking about drinking. I'm so angry. SO angry at him. I've never been more let down in my life but truthfully he's let himself down more than anything. I know that. I can still love him-call me crazy all you want, but I do. I still have hope for him-but tonight is all about me saying what I need to say. I don't know why I posted-just thought it may help someone as I know many of us are struggling after a divorce or breakup with an alcoholic. Anyways, thanks for listening and wish me luck on my "conversation". 
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Okaaayyyy... it sounds a little goofy, to me, but what the heck. Harmless enough (unless your kids happen to come in and see mom off her rocker), and certainly better than telling him anything in person.
I used to compose long letters (maybe because I'm a writer by nature) and get it out that way. Letters that were never sent, but it was still cathartic.
Just make sure the little ones are sound asleep and that you keep the volume down.
I used to compose long letters (maybe because I'm a writer by nature) and get it out that way. Letters that were never sent, but it was still cathartic.
Just make sure the little ones are sound asleep and that you keep the volume down.
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Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 171
I kinda do this, but not to his picture. I'm a little less than 2 weeks out of a year and a half relationship with an alcoholic boyfriend, so I don't have the same history, but I probably have some similar anger to a man who let the alcoholic have the last word in our relationship.
I did, though, respond to how he acted toward me in the last month, and how angry I was that he welcomed alcohol in to ruin our lives together, in a FB messenger post. As soon as I let it out, I blocked him, so I didn't give him the chance to respond back. It felt like the first time I could really speak my mind without any repercussions or real backlash.
Of course, with your having kids involved, it makes things more complicated.
What I've done the past few days after getting that anger out is I've had a few "conversations" with the "sober" him (usually when I'm outside having a cigarette) and expressing my disappointment in what he's let himself become. Those are calmer conversations, and I do feel that it's helped me release quite a bit of what I felt I've had to hold in for the past month or so.
Best of luck.
I did, though, respond to how he acted toward me in the last month, and how angry I was that he welcomed alcohol in to ruin our lives together, in a FB messenger post. As soon as I let it out, I blocked him, so I didn't give him the chance to respond back. It felt like the first time I could really speak my mind without any repercussions or real backlash.
Of course, with your having kids involved, it makes things more complicated.
What I've done the past few days after getting that anger out is I've had a few "conversations" with the "sober" him (usually when I'm outside having a cigarette) and expressing my disappointment in what he's let himself become. Those are calmer conversations, and I do feel that it's helped me release quite a bit of what I felt I've had to hold in for the past month or so.
Best of luck.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Originally Posted by Forourgirls 
The chair helped as corny as it was, it allowed for a great release and I woke up feeling lighter.
as corny as it was, it allowed for a great release and I woke up feeling lighter.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 786
Lol... I had 11 and 13 year old sons chainsaw a tree and chop it up, dig a four foot hole for a basketball pole, and got a punching bag as well...and to date both boys deal with their anger in very productive ways.
Way to go!
Way to go!
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