Moving out was the best thing I've ever done.
 

Hi,

I haven't posted in awhile but I wanted to share in case it encourages anyone to do what I did.

I moved out in April of last year because I couldn't handle my husband's drunken binges, which were getting worse and worse. I felt so low, like I had no control over my life at all. I worried all the time. He would only binge every few months, but when he did, it would be catastrophic to our life and family. I became someone I didn't even recognize. I nagged him 24/7 because I was so afraid the next binge was coming.

So the last binge before I left was bad. He was stressed and drank. I woke up and he was drunk. I was scared. He put his hand around my throat and that was IT. He was someone else. I knew I had to get my boys out of there.

I was SCARED. I didn't think I'd make it alone. I was embarrassed and ashamed. I kept wishing I'd had a different outcome, married a "decent" guy with no problems. I was scared about money.

Here I am. Over a year later. I've worked SO hard. For awhile, I commuted two hours each way to work. It was hard. I've had sad and lonely days. But tonight, I'm here in my cozy condo. My boys are asleep upstairs. I'm drinking a glass of wine, watching Orange is the New Black. I'm relaxed. No one is criticizing me. I'm not worried about upsetting him and driving him to drink. The future is wide open. Who knows what lies ahead? As for AH...he had a binge a few months ago. But this time, I didn't panic. I didn't worry. I didn't try to nag or control. He is doing better. He's there for our kids and they have a good relationship. I don't regret our marriage. We have two beautiful boys! I came from a dysfunctional upbringing too. But everyone has problems. My life could be much worse.

I'm alone, but I'm FREE. I'm at peace. A few weeks ago, my sister called and asked me to go on a last-minute road trip to see our cousin's new baby. I said "Sure!" and I went. The old me wouldn't have gone. I wouldn't have wanted to leave AH for fear he'd drink. Not anymore. I had a great time.

If you're afraid, don't be afraid to leave. It's scary, but it's the best thing I've ever done. AH hasn't gotten worse. If anything, he's gotten better from having to face his issues alone. We get along better now than we have in years. I used to think moving out would be the end of me, but it's only the beginning!!!

That was my experience after I left, too. Thanks for the wonderful, upbeat post!

You can't see me, but I just gave you a standing ovation.
:c011:

I'm so happy to read these positive, uplifting words from you Emmy, you've struggled so long to get to this point. Way to go!!!

Wonderful news and congrats!

Your post was so inspiring and wonderful! I'm glad you are happy, at peace and living on your terms.

P.S. I love OITNB!

You're amazing!

I am so proud of you!!!

As the saying goes: freedom lies just on the other side of fear.

I am so happy you are FREE.

Well done!

Such a WONDERFUL update, Emmy! Much love to you and your kidlets!

This makes me so so very happy!!!!!! Sending you lots of love and many hugs, I am so very very proud of you!

Emmy this is so good to hear! Very positive message. Thanks for sharing.

Emmy, I remember your struggle...and I'm so happy for you!!! Thanks for sharing!

SO HAPPY for you guys!!! So inspiring!

I could have written every single word of your post. The only difference is i wasn't married to him. He lived with me for about 9 months. Thank you for sharing this... Just yesterday, i was questioning myself and thinking maybe i over reacted to all his occasional binge drinking since it only occured once a month. But, your post has made me realize that my emotions and reactions to his alcoholism was indeed how all would react in our situation. Even though i still have my hard days over the breakup, it feels SO GREAT to not have to worry about all the chaos that his drinking caused. Last Forth of July was so miserable.. we stayed at a hotel with his girls and my son. He was sneaking away every chance he got to drink. We fought and it made the entire day awful. This year for the 4th i will be returning to the same hotel for 4th of July celebrations and i know it will be the best day ever!!

Thank you for posting. It gives me hope.
I cannot wait to be out of this craziness. I am so glad to hear that you are doing so well.