tommyvet

Yesterday was much better for me. I saw a councilor who is also a christian. And while prayer is a very big part of my life I also believe that we spouses of the A are a special needs group under the care of God. Our "group" requires a more special set of tools that God uses to reach us. Yesterday was the first good day after hitting my rock bottom. I now understand my RAW is not permanently detaching. She is temporarily doing this so she can be restored. I am a person of faith. It is hard to maintain that faith when you see suffering so close to your heart. Yesterday I addressed some of my character flaws for the first time in my life. It felt good. Addressing these things allows me to back away and not smother my A while she is working and processing these emotions, issues, and feelings. I know she loves me and I know things will get better in time, just not my time lol. Today we prayed together. She is in a funk because her sponsor has not called her back in 3 days. But this is not my issue and if she needs to get another sponsor, then the is her decision, I cannot interfere.

Thanks for the continued prayers and support I have found here.