So, I guess this is it...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
So, I guess this is it...
AH came downstairs from his airplane modeling room, clearly drunk. Told me he'd never really had any amount of sober time in the last nearly 2 years, all the while attending AA, working w/his sponsor, etc. Left in his truck after saying "I have to go away and get straight, then I can come back and talk to you." I told him if he left in the truck, I'd call the police. He said "then call them." He left. I called. No word yet. Called his sponsor. He's not heard from him either.
Guess I'm converting that legal separation to a divorce.
The saddest thing is, I'm really not shocked. I said in another thread that I was keeping my heart guarded, b/c he has lied so long and so well that I just can't trust yet. Thank god for that.
Thank god for my friends here at SR. Wish me strength and calm, please.
Guess I'm converting that legal separation to a divorce.
The saddest thing is, I'm really not shocked. I said in another thread that I was keeping my heart guarded, b/c he has lied so long and so well that I just can't trust yet. Thank god for that.
Thank god for my friends here at SR. Wish me strength and calm, please.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
hp, I'm so sorry, but I think you're in a good place to deal with this. You've gotten so much stronger and grounded. I remember when you first came in--I always felt for you because it was such a total shock. Most of us eased into living with alcoholism. Ironically, even though it was such a shock, maybe in a way you didn't get as deep into the emotional dysfunction so many of us experience because it IS so gradual in many cases.
I just know you are going to be fine--I'm still sorry you have to deal with all the crap involved in making such big changes in your life. You did the right thing to call the police--and his sponsor, under these circumstances.
Biggest hugs, you are in my thoughts and prayers.
I just know you are going to be fine--I'm still sorry you have to deal with all the crap involved in making such big changes in your life. You did the right thing to call the police--and his sponsor, under these circumstances.
Biggest hugs, you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Thanks, you guys. It is all so much appreciated.
Unfortunately, the cops did not find him. He came home about 15 minutes ago and demanded to know if I loved him. Apparently he can't stop drinking (or smoking--he lied about that again also, claiming to have quit in early March) b/c I don't love him enough. He says he'd "give it all up for one moment of compassion" from me.
Say it with me--UTTER BULL$HIT!!!!
So he is watching a movie and eating a Subway sub that he bought b/c he "wasn't sure what was up w/dinner." Good call, hey?
But you know what? My HP has been working overtime for me--I applied for a job that pays more than my current bakery job, besides having benefits including health insurance that my bakery job does NOT have. I just found out on Wednesday that I am hired and I will be attending orientation on July 7. Thanks, HP, thanks a lot!! It will be that much easier for me on my own w/the extra pay and the benefits.
I can and will do this. Thank you all.
Unfortunately, the cops did not find him. He came home about 15 minutes ago and demanded to know if I loved him. Apparently he can't stop drinking (or smoking--he lied about that again also, claiming to have quit in early March) b/c I don't love him enough. He says he'd "give it all up for one moment of compassion" from me.
Say it with me--UTTER BULL$HIT!!!!
So he is watching a movie and eating a Subway sub that he bought b/c he "wasn't sure what was up w/dinner." Good call, hey?
But you know what? My HP has been working overtime for me--I applied for a job that pays more than my current bakery job, besides having benefits including health insurance that my bakery job does NOT have. I just found out on Wednesday that I am hired and I will be attending orientation on July 7. Thanks, HP, thanks a lot!! It will be that much easier for me on my own w/the extra pay and the benefits.
I can and will do this. Thank you all.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Iowa
Posts: 3,050
So he is watching a movie and eating a Subway sub that he bought b/c he "wasn't sure what was up w/dinner." Good call, hey?
Ugh, really? Delusional much?
HP, I'm officially awarding you an Alanon gold medal in self control for not bashing him over the head with a frying pan.
Also sending tons of hugs and strength your way.
Ugh, really? Delusional much?
HP, I'm officially awarding you an Alanon gold medal in self control for not bashing him over the head with a frying pan.
Also sending tons of hugs and strength your way.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
I'll never forget those moments when I knew I was just DONE. With my second husband it was when he signed a new lease on the house we were renting after I'd told him not to--that we couldn't afford it on my salary alone (he'd lost his job and was drinking all day in lieu of looking for work). That was it for me.
There is a certain calm and serenity that can come after something like this. Sitting on the fence hurts your butt after a while.
There is a certain calm and serenity that can come after something like this. Sitting on the fence hurts your butt after a while.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
You guys are truly the best!
So I thought I heard the door open and close while I was in here, on the circuit court website trying to find out what forms and procedure to convert the separation to a divorce. I finished my search, and it looks very simple: One short form to sign, date and make copies of, then one more short form to be picked up at the courthouse and filled out. Then I file it, it gets signed, and a copy goes to him and to me. He said he'd cooperate w/the divorce, which I hope is true. If he doesn't, I have to wait a year to be able to unilaterally end it. More will be revealed.
So anyway, apparently the door was him leaving again, w/o a word (which is fine, I guess). I am truly hoping the cops find him and he sits in jail. Again, more will be revealed.
Yes, Lexie, my butt is good and sore and I'm done. I'm going to go put away the mess in the kitchen from when I thought I was making dinner. Then I'm taking a short walk w/the dogs and then I am going to bed. Like Scarlett said, "Tomorrow is another day."
So I thought I heard the door open and close while I was in here, on the circuit court website trying to find out what forms and procedure to convert the separation to a divorce. I finished my search, and it looks very simple: One short form to sign, date and make copies of, then one more short form to be picked up at the courthouse and filled out. Then I file it, it gets signed, and a copy goes to him and to me. He said he'd cooperate w/the divorce, which I hope is true. If he doesn't, I have to wait a year to be able to unilaterally end it. More will be revealed.
So anyway, apparently the door was him leaving again, w/o a word (which is fine, I guess). I am truly hoping the cops find him and he sits in jail. Again, more will be revealed.
Yes, Lexie, my butt is good and sore and I'm done. I'm going to go put away the mess in the kitchen from when I thought I was making dinner. Then I'm taking a short walk w/the dogs and then I am going to bed. Like Scarlett said, "Tomorrow is another day."
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
