So, I guess this is it...
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,872
Geez...it always amazes me hearing more delusional stories of "you need to give me (insert something-compassion, etc) and THEN I could quit". My ex pulled the same exact thing quite a few times...down to the leaving and then coming home, etc. Keep doing what you're doing. Hugs to you!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((Honeypig)) - I'm sorry you are going through this but am SO happy to hear about the new job and how well you are handling this!
I had a friend, years ago, going through a divorce and never really knew why but it was a coworker and none of my business. She said her husband came home with a dozen roses, a sweet card, yada yada. She looked at him, said "too little too late. I'm done".
I should have permanent fence marks on my buttismo from the years I sat on the fence, but I also know that when we know we are done, it's like a weight lifted off our shoulders.
We will be here for you!!
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
I had a friend, years ago, going through a divorce and never really knew why but it was a coworker and none of my business. She said her husband came home with a dozen roses, a sweet card, yada yada. She looked at him, said "too little too late. I'm done".
I should have permanent fence marks on my buttismo from the years I sat on the fence, but I also know that when we know we are done, it's like a weight lifted off our shoulders.
We will be here for you!!
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,572
Oh HP, I know you've been prepared emotionally for this, but it must still be so, so hard. I'm glad you have the separation paperwork filed and underway, and that converting everything to a divorce seems simple enough.
Stay strong and serene, as I know you strive to be. ((HUGS))
Stay strong and serene, as I know you strive to be. ((HUGS))
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Thank you all so very, very much. The saddest thing of all is that Daisy, our little black demon terrier mix who worships AH, is lying on the bed looking out the window for him since he left again. I don't expect him to come home tonight, and she is going to be up and down and in and out of bed b/c he is not here.
I know what's going on, but my poor little girl does not. Just not fair for her...I'll cuddle her up and do my best for her tonight. Ned, the basset who is my avatar, is and always has been my boy, so he is OK. I'm grateful for their company tonight.
I know what's going on, but my poor little girl does not. Just not fair for her...I'll cuddle her up and do my best for her tonight. Ned, the basset who is my avatar, is and always has been my boy, so he is OK. I'm grateful for their company tonight.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 786
HP, I remember being so surprised that XAH could just leave his dog and not even consider asking for her...I asked him a couple of times... then caught myself and thought--um, KIDS...WIFE...?
It's a bittersweet smile for me because of the ridiculousness of that thought. But I was sad for the dog who didn't know what was going on. She adjusted fairly quickly though.
And interestingly, after the first year she became completely indifferent to him. I think maybe I could learn something from this "Dog-anon" thing.
I picture a few dogs meeting up in an alley saying "Dude, it got quiet, I can sleep all day again, and she's happy enough to walk with me and spoil me again. I'm cool with it. See you next week."
This has nothing to do with the magnitude of what you're dealing with, but I hope it brings a small smile.
Hugs tonight.
It's a bittersweet smile for me because of the ridiculousness of that thought. But I was sad for the dog who didn't know what was going on. She adjusted fairly quickly though.
And interestingly, after the first year she became completely indifferent to him. I think maybe I could learn something from this "Dog-anon" thing.
I picture a few dogs meeting up in an alley saying "Dude, it got quiet, I can sleep all day again, and she's happy enough to walk with me and spoil me again. I'm cool with it. See you next week."This has nothing to do with the magnitude of what you're dealing with, but I hope it brings a small smile.
Hugs tonight.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Mmmmmm
Posts: 3,178
Originally Posted by honeypig 
But you know what? My HP has been working overtime for me--I applied for a job that pays more than my current bakery job, besides having benefits including health insurance that my bakery job does NOT have. I just found out on Wednesday that I am hired and I will be attending orientation on July 7. Thanks, HP, thanks a lot!! It will be that much easier for me on my own w/the extra pay and the benefits.
I can and will do this. Thank you all.
I can and will do this. Thank you all.
Takes the edge off today's events. Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Just got up, having the first cup of coffee before taking the houndies out for a walk. AH did come home at some point, but apparently I was tired enough (first day off after 12 straight at work, plus the emotional stuff) that I didn't hear him. (I also took 2 benadryl--those things always knock me out, plus they help the stuffy head from crying.)
My head is already whirling with things I need to deal with, so I guess my prayer for today will be along the lines of "HP, let me see what I need to see and see it clearly, but please keep me blind to the rest for now so I'm not overwhelmed."
Thank you all--it helps to know I'm not alone.
My head is already whirling with things I need to deal with, so I guess my prayer for today will be along the lines of "HP, let me see what I need to see and see it clearly, but please keep me blind to the rest for now so I'm not overwhelmed."
Thank you all--it helps to know I'm not alone.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,792
Honeypig,
Ugh!!!
Good for you for staying calm and collected in his insanity. They say to let things happen the way God wants them to happen.
Good for you for not stepping in his way and trying to "help" the situation.
Keep going down your path, you will slowly arrive. Hugs my friend!!
Ugh!!!
Good for you for staying calm and collected in his insanity. They say to let things happen the way God wants them to happen.
Good for you for not stepping in his way and trying to "help" the situation.
Keep going down your path, you will slowly arrive. Hugs my friend!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Holyoke, MA
Posts: 156
Hi honeypig! First off, HUGE HUGS to you!
Second off, I'm so very sorry that you're going through this. However, you seem like you're a LOT stronger than most and that is amazing and something to be so proud of! Let him go down alone while you're in a wonderful place! Awesome things are already coming in your direction! I'm so excited for you! Congrats on your new job! Yet another door opened for you! Stay strong! <3
Second off, I'm so very sorry that you're going through this. However, you seem like you're a LOT stronger than most and that is amazing and something to be so proud of! Let him go down alone while you're in a wonderful place! Awesome things are already coming in your direction! I'm so excited for you! Congrats on your new job! Yet another door opened for you! Stay strong! <3
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Originally Posted by honeypig
My head is already whirling with things I need to deal with, so I guess my prayer for today will be along the lines of "HP, let me see what I need to see and see it clearly, but please keep me blind to the rest for now so I'm not overwhelmed."
Once, "I'm done," comes out freely, it's just a matter of formality. Good for you.
"Dog-Anon"
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