The Language of Letting Go, June 20

Old 06-20-2015, 02:00 AM
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The Language of Letting Go, June 20

June 20

You are reading from the book "The Language of Letting Go."

Relationship Martyrs

Many of us have gone so numb and discounted our feelings so completely that we have gotten out of touch with our needs in relationships.

We can learn to distinguish whose company we enjoy, whether we're talking about friends, business acquaintances, dates, or spouses. We all need to interact with people we might prefer to avoid, but we don't have to force ourselves through long-term or intimate relationships with these people.

We are free to choose friends, dates, and spouses. We are free to choose how much time we spend with those people we can't always choose to be around, such as relatives. This is our life. This is it. We can decide how we want to spend our days and hours. We're not enslaved. We're not trapped. And not one of us is without options. We may not see our options clearly. Although we may have to struggle through shame and learn to own our power, we can learn to spend our valuable hours and days with the people we enjoy and choose to be with.

Higher Power, help me value my time and life. Help me place value on how I feel being around certain people. Guide me as I learn to develop healthy, intimate, sharing relationships with people. Help me give myself the freedom to experiment, explore, and learn who I am and who I can be in my relationships.

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Old 06-20-2015, 06:50 AM
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Whenever I've felt like I didn't have options, it was because I was avoiding the options I didn't like, rejecting them out of hand because they weren't the way I wanted things to work out. As long as I held onto my short-sighted and narrow beliefs of what would "fix" my life, I remained a martyr and was at the mercy of other people's choices.
Thanks for posting these. I love starting the day with a little recovery reading, and these are so insightful. And the windows are a wonderful way to get a little different perspective on the day.
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Old 06-20-2015, 09:20 AM
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I'm really glad you're enjoying the windows as well as finding the readings useful!

As far as options and having them or not, I remember someone used to have a sig line that said "You don't have a problem, just answers you don't like." And yes, as much as I hate to admit it, that is usually the case for me when I feel I have no choices...I HAVE them, they just aren't what I WANT to do. They are difficult or uncomfortable or icky in some way!
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Old 06-20-2015, 03:13 PM
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Originally Posted by ladyscribbler View Post
Whenever I've felt like I didn't have options, it was because I was avoiding the options I didn't like, rejecting them out of hand because they weren't the way I wanted things to work out.
YES!!!! Over and over and over again until I catch myself! Thank you!
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