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-   -   Divorce is official (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-alcoholics/369753-divorce-official.html)

lizatola 06-16-2015 10:22 PM

Divorce is official
 
So, all you old timers here on SR, you remember how long I sat on the fence waiting to leave, waiting for another drama to unfold, waiting to see if maybe he'd change.....

Well, here I am officially single. I am living on my own, supporting myself as best as I can on a very low paying job and relying on savings, officially divorced, managing a household by myself. I've been out of my family home for nearly 5 months now, I'm feeling emotionally stable and energized. My health problems have cleared up and I feel the best I've felt in years.

I have a new man in my life...probably not Mr Right but he's a nice Mr Right Now and he is emotionally stable and has had no red flags for the 2 months that we've been dating.

My son is adjusting as best as can be and it seems that his relationship with XAH is getting better over time, despite the progression of XAH's alcoholism. So, for now, I'll take the positive high road.

Can you all believe how much my life has changed in just 6 months time? I love change, but I'm kinda of thinking that it's time for things to settle down and NOT be changing anymore, LOL. I do not like my job 100% but I am adjusting and I am putting in as best an effort as I can while I look for something more suitable.

I still can't believe how long it took for me to make a move. Yet, I know that things unfolded as they needed to and I know that I have perfect peace today because of the decisions I've made!

FeelingGreat 06-16-2015 10:57 PM

I hope 'congratulations' isn't the wrong thing to say, but it's definitely progress and I hope it gets better and better. I'm reminded of that saying that 'happiness is a journey'.

PippiLngstockng 06-17-2015 02:15 AM


Originally Posted by lizatola (Post 5425446)
So, all you old timers here on SR, you remember how long I sat on the fence waiting to leave, waiting for another drama to unfold, waiting to see if maybe he'd change.....

Well, here I am officially single. I am living on my own, supporting myself as best as I can on a very low paying job and relying on savings, officially divorced, managing a household by myself. I've been out of my family home for nearly 5 months now, I'm feeling emotionally stable and energized. My health problems have cleared up and I feel the best I've felt in years.

I have a new man in my life...probably not Mr Right but he's a nice Mr Right Now and he is emotionally stable and has had no red flags for the 2 months that we've been dating.

My son is adjusting as best as can be and it seems that his relationship with XAH is getting better over time, despite the progression of XAH's alcoholism. So, for now, I'll take the positive high road.

Can you all believe how much my life has changed in just 6 months time? I love change, but I'm kinda of thinking that it's time for things to settle down and NOT be changing anymore, LOL. I do not like my job 100% but I am adjusting and I am putting in as best an effort as I can while I look for something more suitable.

I still can't believe how long it took for me to make a move. Yet, I know that things unfolded as they needed to and I know that I have perfect peace today because of the decisions I've made!

It took as long as it needed to take. The fact that you are moving forward so well shows that you got out when you were ready.

Part of me knew that I needed to get out of my marriage many years (about 4 or 5 I'd say) before I did. But then I wouldnt have had my daughter, I certainly wouldn't be living in Europe, and I don't know how I would have managed with, say, a 9, 6, 3 year old and an infant.

I am happy for you!!! Enjoy your growth and the stability. I too, seek out change, but more and more I value the calm and serenity we are earning here for ourselves.

LexieCat 06-17-2015 04:17 AM

Congrats, Liz!!! You've really blossomed this past year. Growing pains are tough, but the result is really worth it!

lizatola 06-17-2015 06:45 AM


Originally Posted by LexieCat (Post 5425615)
Congrats, Liz!!! You've really blossomed this past year. Growing pains are tough, but the result is really worth it!

Growing pains suck sometimes! Now if I could just learn how to navigate the dating waters a bit better, lol. Man, dating in your 40s is a whole new deal! So glad there's no rush and I can enjoy life and take things one day at a time.

SparkleKitty 06-17-2015 07:02 AM

So happy for you, Liz. You're a really bright shining beacon of recovery and thoughtfulness.

biminiblue 06-17-2015 07:29 AM

Go, Lizatola :)

lillamy 06-17-2015 08:17 AM

My heart just absolutely swells when I hear how happy you sound. :ValD007:
Enjoy. Every minute of the new adventure.

hopeful4 06-17-2015 09:14 AM

Hip Hip Horray!

Congrats to your future of freedom!!!!!

AnvilheadII 06-17-2015 09:34 AM

:c011::dance1::nyaa

Wisconsin 06-17-2015 10:06 AM

Absolutely nothing could make me happier today than seeing this post! Congratulations, my wonderful friend!

Praying 06-17-2015 11:02 AM

Thanks so much for sharing. I remember your posts...and this is incredible news! Keep on living and loving!!

honeypig 06-17-2015 11:05 AM

I'm so very happy for you, lizatola. It's been a long road for you, but you're finally at the turning and can start in a whole new direction!

Good going.

SadInTX 06-17-2015 11:43 AM

This is great news Lizatola! It is so great to hear someone changed their life for the better. I have to tell you since you posted this I have been going through some of your threads...THANK YOU...thank you, thank you for sharing your story. Your courage and the others that have helped you along the way have made me realize that I believe my AH has an undiagnosed personality disorder - NPD. Which has led me to start researching NPD...and something has happened inside of me...I see some hope...I am not going crazy...

amy55 06-17-2015 07:08 PM

Liz, I also wanted to add in my congrats. :bbj:

You really do sound happy. I am so happy for you.

(((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))
amy

lizatola 06-17-2015 07:24 PM


Originally Posted by SadInTX (Post 5426196)
This is great news Lizatola! It is so great to hear someone changed their life for the better. I have to tell you since you posted this I have been going through some of your threads...THANK YOU...thank you, thank you for sharing your story. Your courage and the others that have helped you along the way have made me realize that I believe my AH has an undiagnosed personality disorder - NPD. Which has led me to start researching NPD...and something has happened inside of me...I see some hope...I am not going crazy...

And, that is the reason I posted so much....hoping that someone else could be helped by my own journey in recovery! Sending you lots of support and love today! Hang in there!

CodeJob 06-17-2015 11:13 PM

A heartfelt congrats! You have indeed grown a lot. You deserve freedom and peace. You did the work to get it., Liz! :c011::c011:

iGirl66 06-18-2015 04:21 AM

Well done! Bask in the sunshine my dear!

knowthetriggers 06-18-2015 04:44 AM

Congrats on your new life! :grouphug:

BodkinVanHorn 06-19-2015 06:20 PM

Congratulations!!!


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