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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Pittsburgh, pa
Posts: 17
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Tomorrow at 11am I am filing for divorce from my alcoholic husband. It's been a looooong road to get me to this point! I am myself recovering - from codependency.
He moved out 3 months ago and while we were married for 14 years has had multiple affairs, job troubles, trouble with the law, health trouble etc, etc. I've played the perfect codependent by trying to make it "all better" for years now.
Through therapy, self help reading, friends, family, and mostly God - I have reached the point where I am putting myself and my children first and putting down that heavy bag of bricks that I carry around making my life harder than it needs to be.
I can't say that I'm not scared, but I know it's the only way I am going to survive and raise strong women. I put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward.
One day, we may be able to be friends - I miss him - not the person he is now, but the man he was 5-8 years ago. It's easy sometimes to hang onto the memories and think it will get better, but when reality slaps you in the face over and over again, you just have to say - enough is enough. That person I fell in love with is gone - alcoholism has taken all that was once good and destroyed it. Now - he could get sober - he has all the tools - has been to rehab, etc etc - but he chooses to drink and and make bad decisions that cause destruction and chaos like a tornado leaving bodies along the road. But I can choose not to participate in the roller coaster any longer! My children and myself deserve so much more.
I have a good friend who always asked me, "do you really think this life you have is what you deserve?" I say NO, it isn't !! I am worthy and deserving of love, respect, compassion, honesty - I could go on and on.
So if you pray, please say an extra one for me - big changes coming up for this girl and I need all the support I can get.
God Bless you all.
He moved out 3 months ago and while we were married for 14 years has had multiple affairs, job troubles, trouble with the law, health trouble etc, etc. I've played the perfect codependent by trying to make it "all better" for years now.
Through therapy, self help reading, friends, family, and mostly God - I have reached the point where I am putting myself and my children first and putting down that heavy bag of bricks that I carry around making my life harder than it needs to be.
I can't say that I'm not scared, but I know it's the only way I am going to survive and raise strong women. I put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward.
One day, we may be able to be friends - I miss him - not the person he is now, but the man he was 5-8 years ago. It's easy sometimes to hang onto the memories and think it will get better, but when reality slaps you in the face over and over again, you just have to say - enough is enough. That person I fell in love with is gone - alcoholism has taken all that was once good and destroyed it. Now - he could get sober - he has all the tools - has been to rehab, etc etc - but he chooses to drink and and make bad decisions that cause destruction and chaos like a tornado leaving bodies along the road. But I can choose not to participate in the roller coaster any longer! My children and myself deserve so much more.
I have a good friend who always asked me, "do you really think this life you have is what you deserve?" I say NO, it isn't !! I am worthy and deserving of love, respect, compassion, honesty - I could go on and on.
So if you pray, please say an extra one for me - big changes coming up for this girl and I need all the support I can get.
God Bless you all.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
All the best Kristen, you sound like you've thought this through, tried your best and now know this is the only way forward. Doubts are normal for such a big step, but stay strong.
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