iGirl66

Part of getting better is being around healthy people. I have a girlfriend who has lots of issues stemming from childhood and has recognized this and has been going to therapy for over ten years now. What a money tree for this doctor!

She is 40 and never has had a normal relationship with a man. She's been the friend with benefits, the mistress, the buddy, but never a solid girlfriend. Of course when she gets dumped, SHE broke it off because it wasn't right for her and is at the point where men are useless to her. She has always acted jealous when I met a guy and would say snarky things like "well, let's see how long this one will last" and no matter who the guy is, how we met or the level of the relationship, it's "he's just using you, you know".

Anyway, she sends me a text that she saw the ex's Facebook page and he's all over it with some girl and how he was tearing me down. I know he's with some girl. He has no reason to tear me down. I asked "when did he tear me down, what's the date?" She said "oh, it was back when you guys had that big fight" so 2014? She says yeah, it was back then, BUT he should take it down!

She says that when she saw the pics of the new girl she just "totally freaked out" it was "traumatizing" (I kid you not, traumatizing) because she doesn't want "someone like him" in her friends. She didn't want someone who was "into the things he's into to be associated with her". He had a whole 5 hours to snoop through her page! Honestly, I don't think he'd give a toss. As far as I know, he's into getting better and this new girl. Damaged as it may be, it's not criminal.

I said he's MY ex, why are YOU traumatized? I admit, if I'd been there I'd have peaked at the page. I'm only human. She kept going on about the pics and the bad post which are separated by years. She then says that she hit unfriend with a "whew! That was close!" What was close?

Then she says that she was so sorry for all of the things that she saw and how she knows it's awful for me. I told her then she shouldn't have bothered telling me at all then. I don't go to his page and we are not friends. He's blocked from my side. She said that she thought I should know and that " he was never good for you, you'll laugh about it one day" I replied "whatever".

I was having a good day up until that point. This chick has got to go now. This isn't the first time she's gone drama queen or pouted or had some other weird dysfunctional response to my relationships with male friends romantic or platonic. I had actually stopped telling her things.

I have no intention of responding further to her. I know the pattern. She knows she screwed up. She will text in a few days asking if I want to walk in the park. Nope. I have many healthy gal pals to be around and ones who may have issues, but they are seriously working on them. This sick bird has to find another flock.

honeypig

Speaking of birds, it seems like you have your ducks in a row regarding this particular "friend"!


This one's for you:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...june-11-a.html

Good going!

Refiner

Good Lord what a Drama Mama!!!!

LexieCat

Yeah, who needs an AMPLIFIER for their lives? Some people really do thrive on the drama. They just eat it up. Ugh. I don't like drama in my own life and I have little patience for other people's.

Sounds like you don't need the "support" she is offering.

daydreamer0217

good for you hon!! remember that friend of mine that always wanted to talk about ex? well, as soon as I set boundaries she stopped calling. hmm..

dandylion

iGirl.....I think your friend needs to do some Shakespeare In The Park.....

Honeypig......YOUR DUCKS ARE BEYOND.....BEYOND......CUTE!!!!!

dandylion

readerbaby71

She's a drama queen and NOT a good friend. I never understand why people tell others hurtful things when it's not necessary. Some people in my family do this and it's irritating as hell. What she told you is not relevant to your life in any way, shape, or form. She needs to mind her own ******* business and get a life.

Hopeless1978

I'm still confused how SHE was traumatized? lol! What the!!??!?

Carlotta

Good going :. You are moving on and she is trying to drag you back to the drama.
I have no problem blocking drama people and exiting them from my life nowadays. That includes blocking their facebook and their phone number so they cannot text me or call. I figured out a way to block them on ***** as well: I just mark their latest email as spam and after that I do not get any of their mails in my box.

AnvilheadII

if you said this friend was maybe 22 it would be par for the course but for a FORTY yr old woman to be TOTALLY FREAKED and TRAUMATIZED by things on someone else's EX facebook page????
Oh Em Gee.

yeah, shoo birdie, fly away now, take your crazy with you.

MIRecovery

Some people are toxic and the sooner you part ways the better

guava

I'm impressed with how clearly you were able to see the situation and how confident you are in dealing with it! Nice job getting rid of the drama and negativity!

redatlanta

You need to hit the unfriend button. What a toxic woman. Sounds like she has a thing for your Ex to me - considering her collection of past relationships I would say that would be par for the course. Gets off on laying up with someone involved with someone else. Probably really didn't like any of them.

Bye bye!!!

iGirl66

She's now sending text after text about a mutual friends memorial service, her taking flying lessons and anything else. I will not respond. I just can't. It's ridiculous. Time to hit the old block button for a bit. She is whacked alright. And I knew this from pretty early on, but I kept giving her a chance to even out. It's like a weird social awkwardness where she actually doesn't understand why this should bug me. I don't think she had a thing for him, she just didn't like him taking up my attention. I had been saying how I was looking forward to meeting a nice guy in the future. Maybe she was trying to remind me of the hurt so that I can be a Bitter Betty.

The ex and I weren't normal obviously or I wouldn't be here, but like most of you, it started out good, had some really nice days and we did declare ourselves a monogamous couple. I was all over Facebook with him at one point too. She's never had that much. Never met anyone's family or anything. It's sad. She never says my ex boyfriend, just this guy I was seeing.

I just went to a women's gathering last night where one of the speakers talked about energy vampires. They just drain you every time you're around them. This is her. I'm done with anything that tears me down rather than builds me up!

jjj111

Sorry to hear that your friend is such a drain! I just have to say though--ain't no shame in going to therapy for 10+ years! I'm going on 12 years in therapy and expect I'll probably be going for the rest of my life.

iGirl66

Sorry jjj111! Long term therapy is good if you're making progress. I think she's just flapping her gums. That or she's sicker than anyone knows. That's my bet.