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What are you doing these days FOR YOU?

Old 06-10-2015, 10:42 AM
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What are you doing these days FOR YOU?

.....for your mind, your body &/or your spirit? It's been TOO LONG since we've had this kind of thread!

Physically - I've dropped close to 20 lbs. I've started walking about 5 miles every day & doing a home yoga practice at least 3-4 days each week. I feel fantastic!
I also started seeing a new community acupuncture group & it's been excellent. This was new to me, I'd never heard of these types of affordable clinics before. If you are interested, search for one near you, by clicking on the "Clinics" tab at the top of the organization's webpage: https://www.pocacoop.com/pages/about


Mentally - I've taken on some new tasks at work & expanded my job title & salary a bit. I've booked my 3-day business trip for my annual symposium, can't wait to get the schedule for the sessions that pertain to my new duties!


Spiritually - I started a weekly meditation class that I absolutely love. It's about 2 hrs long, we discuss all kinds of things relevant to the practice & then meditate while the teacher plays crystal & Tibetan bowls. We have been focusing on the chakras, one per week, in succession. My friend is a total novice when it comes to meditating but she PUSHED me to take this class. She's been treading water in her recovery for a very long time & this experience has been shaking all kinds of things loose for her.... it's been fascinating to watch.

I spent Saturday night on the beach doing yoga in the bright moonlight just short of where the tide brings the incoming waves in the sand.... VERY cathartic, VERY relaxing!
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Old 06-10-2015, 10:52 AM
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Love this!

Physically, I'm trying to be outside more, being active. Spent a few hours outside yesterday doing yard work, and I am feeling it today!

Mentally, I have been doing a lot of sewing, which brings me a lot of peace and joy.

Spiritually, I have been working on talking with my HP in the mornings. It's amazing how it sets the stage for my day (versus talking with HP at night...) Small difference, but it has had a big impact for me.
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Old 06-10-2015, 10:55 AM
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What am I doing? Too much and not enough!

I just opened a show and have not been getting enough sleep. I'm also being blind-sided by grief every few days over my friend who passed from cancer at the beginning of May. I have not been eating mindfully and haven't made any time for exercise for the last month and a half.

But today I have a therapy appointment and a night off. In three and a half weeks, DH and I pack up about 20 book and go on our annual trip to an all-inclusive, adults-only resort for 10 days and 10 nights. Hopefully this is a turn in a better direction for my self-care!
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Old 06-10-2015, 10:56 AM
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Wowie! acupuncture? that's so cool!

Lets see...

Physically: I still eat very well, get my water and vitamins, and I am working out 5-6 times per week. I am also getting to bed pretty early so that I have enough rest

Mentally: I am applying for full time work. I need the benefits and I am ready to move out of my mother's home.

Spiritually: I am waking up and making myself smile and think about some positive things. It really sets my day up right! I have also made amends with my first husband's mom and took my oldest daughter to meet her. Plus, my step sister came for a visit last week, and we got some real good healing conversation going about our upbringing with alcoholic parents and what we are doing to manage our lives now. Both of these events have been super healing!

I have also chosen to start instilling positive affirmations for myself and my two daughters. I have written all over the long mirror that we use lines like "I matter. I am beautiful. Don't forget to smile. I am important." My youngest was so shy about it; I never realized that at just 8 yrs old she was already displaying low self worth. She came to me later one night and said "Mom, I looked in the mirror and read those things to myself." with a huge grin on her face! That felt good! =)
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Old 06-10-2015, 11:15 AM
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Originally Posted by LemonGirl View Post
I have also chosen to start instilling positive affirmations for myself and my two daughters. I have written all over the long mirror that we use lines like "I matter. I am beautiful. Don't forget to smile. I am important." My youngest was so shy about it; I never realized that at just 8 yrs old she was already displaying low self worth. She came to me later one night and said "Mom, I looked in the mirror and read those things to myself." with a huge grin on her face! That felt good! =)
Great idea! I did this in DD's bedroom a few years back. I even lucked out & found a bunch of great wall art stickers at the Dollar Tree that were just words & I pieced together poems & sayings but they eventually peeled off the walls with no mess. "Never forget you are exactly perfect just as you are", "Hello, Beautiful!", etc.

I agree with you guys about how starting the morning with gratitude makes the entire day better & Sparkle.... 10 days?? I am envious, enjoy!
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Old 06-10-2015, 11:25 AM
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Gotta say, FireSprite...I LOVE Dollar Tree!
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Old 06-10-2015, 01:21 PM
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Physically - Just about to finish the Kayla Itsines 12 week bikini body guide. I have some serious guns and abs and crazy definition in my legs from it. I've never found a workout program that was been so enjoyable for me. I'm feeling incredibly comfortable in my skin lately and feel so proud of my strength.

Spiritually - Lots of meditation. Also I'm trying to do some more challenging yoga positions and I'm being very patient with myself rather than forcing myself to just do them and do them now. Also, still working on step 4 and going to al-anon meetings.

Mentally - Can I just say that parenting is the like the Olympics of mental fortitude? My kids exhaust me mentally sometimes. I've been doing lots of reading. I signed up both of my girls and myself for the summer reading program at our local library, and I've recentlly finished reading all of Brene Brown's books. Love her!! I also work and I'm navigating my current and new friendships as I continue to learn more about myself and behaviors that I used to find acceptable.
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Old 06-10-2015, 03:26 PM
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Whatever the hell I want on all fronts. I'm getting my house just right -- I have lots of pink and it's wonderful! No large elk head in the living room, tho I did like old Gus. Point is, I'm decorating for me w/o having to remember my house is full of men. I've been to Branson, Kansas City, about to go to Wichita. I go wogging in the mornings (jog and walk)...I do whatever bible study I want to do; read what I want to read; watch whatever I want to watch...yeah, whatever I want within my own set reason/conscience and it feels so good!

I forgot to add, I can be sassy if I wanna be, too. It's me being me for me..lol
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Old 06-10-2015, 03:38 PM
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Physically : I bought a nutribullet and started substituting a meal for a great protein smoothie, and I have cut my meat intake by half.

Mentally : I am taking care of my ill mother, but instead of being a martyr I am having lunches with my friends, reading books during mom's chemo, lots of facetime with my kids.

Spiritually : I am reading a lot of books by great authors that help me become a better me. I do lots of meditation, and I am a Yoga enthusiast. Mom and I watch Super Soul Sundays with Oprah.
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Old 06-10-2015, 07:26 PM
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Physically: I sleep properly every night without waking up and eat three meals a day, at times I used to eat 10 years ago. I am taking care of my body, now that it is summertime. I take vitamins, those prenatal with folic acid, and although I have no intentions of getting pregnant or even think of men, it is good for my health, and maybe one day, who knows. And I really want to look good, not for any man, just for me. It boosts my self-confidence. I go to the pool and enjoy the sun and swimming. And I like my tan. haven' been so dark since I was 11. And I got a crazy intense nail polish, pinky-orange, so unlike me.

Mentally: Staying focused on my work and God was merciful and gave me a nice and busy summer. I am not letting my AH distract me. Walking and excercising my dog is so relaxing, and the area is so beautiful, so we go exploring. And seeing new sights keeps me away from the darkness of the past. It is amazing what a pair of wild geese and five of their babies can do for you. Or going to Walmart to get some petunias at 21:00. Just cos I felt like it.

Spiritually: Making peace with my past. Understanding my parents better. Letting go of what happened with my mom. Moving on, finding strenght in my memories of her. Remembering her words. What she used to advise me helps a lot when it comes to my move and general independence. I know she meant well, but only had a disasterous way of communicating with me.
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Old 06-11-2015, 06:45 AM
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Getting My Own Life In Order (Clutter)

Fairly new poster here at SR.

Have recently had to set a very strong boundary with my alcoholic sister. I am so sad that I must write those words. Alcoholic Sister. Because I love her, our dad died from alcoholism, and I never thought she would become one. But she is.

SR really helped me with standing my ground. And I am so grateful for the help I received here!

But I am not perfect. Sure, I am not an alkie. I am a recovering work- in- progress codependent. Most of you understand the issues/defects codependents struggle with.

But, I hate to admit this; but I am a border-line hoarder. My home "looks" great on the outside. But don't look in my closets or under my bed. I have boxes of paperwork I need to get rid of. I have too many kitchen "gadgets". I have too many clothes, books, etc. Too much stuff!

If you read my first post here at SR, you will see that I have detached from my sister's issues and her need to depend on me and my need to rescue her.

NOW - I am taking the first steps to GET MY OWN LIFE IN ORDER.
I am a ACOA. Have had alcoholics and others with personality issues (like my bipolar/alkie EX husband) my whole life.

I also have some disabling autoimmune illnesses that limit my ability to do many things like lifting or sometimes even opening mail. I get fatigued/super tired very easily. And I suffer from diagnosed PTSD and anxiety. And yes, my health problems have greatly contributed to my collection of "stuff".

But still, these are not valid excuses. And all of this "stuff" is really bugging me.

My "visible" parts of my home appear under control.
My "invisible" parts of my home, (closets, etc.) are out of control.

Just like me.

Outside, I "look" okay.
Inside, psychologically and emotionally, I am a mess. But I am getting better.

Using Alanon steps and principles and talking to other Alanons, to get my life under control.

And I have made the decision to get my "clutter" under control.

I just had a "spiritual awakening" and realize I can use the 12 steps and other 12 step tools to help me with the clutter issue.

I have very limited resources; a friend of mine hired a professional organizer to help her; I can't afford the luxury. But I think/know/have faith that I can deal/recover from my own "issues", one day at a time - with the help of my HP.

Thanks OP, great topic!!

p.s.
Just wondering;
Are there any other codependent's/ACOA's who struggle with clutter?
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Old 06-11-2015, 09:25 AM
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Originally Posted by AlcSis
Outside, I "look" okay.
Inside, psychologically and emotionally, I am a mess. But I am getting better.
{ACoA raising hand} Oh gosh, yes, I can totally relate. And not just in relation to my house/surroundings but some of my habits as well. Especially food - I have unbelievable control during the day/at work/in public but binge eat at home or when I'm alone. I live a healthy lifestyle for the most part & people are always shocked when they find this out about me... "Really??? You??" I can't tell you how many times others have complimented me on my willpower & self control. Ha!

I don't struggle with clutter so much, I'm the opposite (but it does creep up on me). I like everything in it's place & every closet & drawer organized so I can find things. I have no shelves in my house, no accent tables or empty surfaces because that would require more cleaning & dusting & STUFF. After years of household duties as the oldest child I will do anything to avoid spending time cleaning or doing chores as an adult. It's not that I'm an OCD control freak, I just hate cleaning & de-cluttering. It's the biggest time-sucking waste, especially cleaning the same things/areas over & over & over again. Oh, that just makes me want to scream! I really love my family but I absolutely *hate* the dishes, clutter, dirty floors, laundry, etc. that living with other people brings.

(It is worth mentioning that it's different with DD. I have never had issues with the messes that come along with motherhood, but I won't lie..... I'm elated that she's gotten old enough to do a lot of helping out at home.)

I do have to reign in my hoarding habits a bit - I used to hold onto stuff until, well, forever. Then I realized that I was never enjoying anything in my RIGHT NOW.

Ironically, RAH was raised by a true-blue Hoarder & a lot of that spilled over onto him. He is unaffected by a mess, always scratching his head wondering what I'm talking about. He will hold onto every. little. thing. in which he finds the tiniest value...for years. It is no lie that we have a 3-bay, 2-story detached garage & it is FULL of his crap. I had to put a separate shed in the backyard for "my" stuff. (translation: holiday decorations, old photo albums & mementos, DD's memory trunk.....) The shed is about 10x10 & more than half empty, lol.


When I started de-cluttering my house during recovery I tackled one room at a time. I had heard a great tip that said to make piles/boxes right outside the room for everything that leaves the room so that YOU don't leave the room constantly, making the process longer. (Their categories were like, "Donations" "Belong in Another Room" "Garbage")

I'm also a fan of the 15-min cleanup. When Ie really don't want to get started I say, "I'll just clean for 15 mins, I can do that!".... and almost always I end up going way past 15 mins. (For DD we do 10 mins) It showed me how much I can actually get done in a short time too so it helped me stop putting off small projects.... like cleaning the kitchen junk drawer.
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Old 06-11-2015, 12:21 PM
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Physically - Working outside, fishing more, just finished morel picking season. City league soccer, and can't wait for my garden lettuce to spring up - salad for dinner every day!

Mentally - coming here, saying NO more, and being absolutely honest with myself and others. Walking away when I need to from situations, and staying calm. Always trying to remember GRATITUDE!

Spiritually - Just throwing up "thank yous" A LOT more often. Reading some good books - Proof of Heaven was pretty great and gave me some peace with regards to dads cancer. Not sweating the small stuff, cause that &h!t doesn't really matter at all. Enjoying music like I did as a kid - really losing myself in it!
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Old 06-11-2015, 01:40 PM
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Great thread, thanks FireSprite.
You guys are awesome.

I'm still going to Al-Anon and Step Four-ing.
Yoga twice per week.
Walking on my breaks with co-workers
Calling to catch up with old friends who make my heart feel happy
SR!!!
Making healthier food choices and have a goal to lose 20 pounds... (I've gained 17 pounds in the 8 months since AH has stopped drinking... after having lost 45 due to the stress of living with the active A... )
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Old 06-11-2015, 05:35 PM
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Physically - I took myself to the dentist after not going for almost 13 years. :|

I need a crown, which has now turned into a need for a root canal and then a crown. I need to have my two remaining wisdom teeth extracted (because they're still impacted). And I want to have some voluntary periodontal work done. This is the double edged sword of self care. Had I been taking good care of myself all along then I probably wouldn't need this much work done. But I didn't know how important taking care of myself was. I looked fine on the outside. I didn't have any pain that I was aware of. My mouth is the living example of looking fine on the outside but being in some serious need or TLC and help on the inside. It perfectly mirrors my emotional well being.
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Old 06-12-2015, 03:54 PM
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Ive changed my diet to eating clean whole foods. Not that I dont indulge in the occassional greasy cheeseburger but Im loving how I feel eating more fruits and vegetables! Im also wanting to get my own tomato plants,and other veggies to grow as,well.as a flower garden and container gardening. Very new to.me but im excited to try! Im spending more time with old friends and family and enjoying life more. I want to learn meditation and yoga ..the yoga on the beach in the moon light sounds amazing! I wish I lived near the ocean but im.a country girl. Right now im.sitting on my porch swing listening to music while my spaghetti squash bakes in the oven. Watermelon for desert good thread FS!
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Old 06-13-2015, 10:07 AM
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I wish we lived closer! I'd love to take the Tibetan Bowls class with you.
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