Here we go again
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Chicago
Posts: 5,450
Megs, I don't have any knowledge of how you could get him removed from your home without his consent. Your first option might be to ask him to leave and let him figure out where to go.
If that doesn't work, do you have somewhere you and your daughter could go for a possible extended stay? Family, a close friend, anyone?
If that doesn't work, do you have somewhere you and your daughter could go for a possible extended stay? Family, a close friend, anyone?
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Well, does he have any family in the area willing to help him? If not, is your financial situation in a way that he could rent a small apartment? If things persist, you may have to have police assist with this. I recommend you speak to an attorney. Usually a free consult and they can give you the path to take, even just to get him out of your home. If worse comes to worse, give him a list of the inpatient rehabs and homeless shelters in the area.
Hugs to you.
Hugs to you.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Well, first he has to AGREE to leave. Otherwise you are going to have to go the legal route and file for divorce or legal separation giving you temporary possession of the condo and temporary custody of your daughter.
He could stay with friends/family if they will have him, there are shelters and sober living houses (which probably wouldn't take him without some sobriety under his belt). He could find a cheap studio apartment or a room in a rooming house. He could check the ads for roommate situations. Lots of possibilities, but again, he has to agree.
He could stay with friends/family if they will have him, there are shelters and sober living houses (which probably wouldn't take him without some sobriety under his belt). He could find a cheap studio apartment or a room in a rooming house. He could check the ads for roommate situations. Lots of possibilities, but again, he has to agree.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
megsy....there are extended stay motel facilities that executives stay at while traveling or on the road. They are very attractive and have kitchen facilities, etc. If you can afford to buy a house---then he should be able to stay in one for a month or so while you are able to catch your breath and have more in debth discussions/planning.
Megsy....you are going to need more support for what you are going through (and especially with being pregnant.,,,this is incredibly stressful on you)
Here is where you can get support...(1).Celebrate Recovery (or alanon).
(2) a personal counselor for yourself
(3) speaking with lawyer (s) regarding your choices and legal rights.
(4) speaking with counselors at any DV centers (by phone)---because they can advise you as to where resources of many kinds are available.
If you have suffered emotional or verbal abuse...then you qualify for help. It is confiential and compassionate---so you might as well use their help if you need advice.
(5) your ob doctor or Planned Parenthood can also give you referrals for counseling and supportive help with the pregnancy
Of course, you can keep posting here....lol
Do you have any girlfriends that you can talk to right now?
dandylion
Megsy....you are going to need more support for what you are going through (and especially with being pregnant.,,,this is incredibly stressful on you)
Here is where you can get support...(1).Celebrate Recovery (or alanon).
(2) a personal counselor for yourself
(3) speaking with lawyer (s) regarding your choices and legal rights.
(4) speaking with counselors at any DV centers (by phone)---because they can advise you as to where resources of many kinds are available.
If you have suffered emotional or verbal abuse...then you qualify for help. It is confiential and compassionate---so you might as well use their help if you need advice.
(5) your ob doctor or Planned Parenthood can also give you referrals for counseling and supportive help with the pregnancy
Of course, you can keep posting here....lol
Do you have any girlfriends that you can talk to right now?
dandylion
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
megsy, you continue to make life plans AS IF you had a spouse who is capable of being a part of those plans. you came here and asked if the all inclusive resort thing was a good idea.....and you can see now that it was not. i presume that cost some bank.
honey, things are falling apart around you and now is the time to stop spending money! unless you have a trunk full of it hidden somewhere, you are going to need financial stability in order to possibly make changes to your situation.
it can't be stressed enough how HUGE a mistake it would be to BUY A HOUSE with someone you can't stand to be in the same hotel room with. i really hope you THINK about everything that is on the line. he's been drinking for a long time, and yet you went thru with plans to buy this house. he's not going to just NORMAL UP on you.....this is serious. and you now have a second baby coming along. with a father who has made complete ass of himself.
house deals fall thru all the time. negotiations can be worked out. i'm not exactly sure WHY you planned to go away on a vacation right before closing on a house anyways......when i've bought houses there was often a lot of back and forth with the realtor, finance company, etc.
honey, things are falling apart around you and now is the time to stop spending money! unless you have a trunk full of it hidden somewhere, you are going to need financial stability in order to possibly make changes to your situation.
it can't be stressed enough how HUGE a mistake it would be to BUY A HOUSE with someone you can't stand to be in the same hotel room with. i really hope you THINK about everything that is on the line. he's been drinking for a long time, and yet you went thru with plans to buy this house. he's not going to just NORMAL UP on you.....this is serious. and you now have a second baby coming along. with a father who has made complete ass of himself.
house deals fall thru all the time. negotiations can be worked out. i'm not exactly sure WHY you planned to go away on a vacation right before closing on a house anyways......when i've bought houses there was often a lot of back and forth with the realtor, finance company, etc.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: West Coast
Posts: 774
I agree with those that say to just take the loss with the house. Unless of course he somehow agrees to leaving the condo...? But he is like talking to a wall, so I'm pretty sure that won't blow over well.
I had to lose practically everything with an ex of mine... Heck, I am still trying to fix my credit from that mess! But I wouldn't trade it for one more day of the hell I lived with that man.
Life will continue no matter what you decide. And it will get better if that is what you decide. It may be a while for everything to settle, but it will happen. Trust yourself to take the first steps to recovering your life, in spite of whatever poor choices he is going to make. You will thank yourself for it later, and so will your children. I wish none of this were true hun.... (((hugs)))
I had to lose practically everything with an ex of mine... Heck, I am still trying to fix my credit from that mess! But I wouldn't trade it for one more day of the hell I lived with that man.
Life will continue no matter what you decide. And it will get better if that is what you decide. It may be a while for everything to settle, but it will happen. Trust yourself to take the first steps to recovering your life, in spite of whatever poor choices he is going to make. You will thank yourself for it later, and so will your children. I wish none of this were true hun.... (((hugs)))
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