Well, that ended badly.
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Join Date: May 2015
Location: New York
Posts: 165
Well, that ended badly.
i start my new job on Tuesday! Which is good because I just walked out on the old one right before dinner! I have worked steadily since I was 16 years old. I have never in my life walked out of a job! Ever! And this right before dinner service on a Saturday night. That's is tantamount to high treason. I'd already given notice, so it's not technically job abandonment. I think. Not proud of myself at all. Just couldn't detach and I'd started to get good at it.
I came in peace and wanted to leave in peace, but that was not to happen. Boss is drunk again and comes in yelling at the servers. The lead chef goes into hyper mode which means all over the place, not thinking, panicking and being abusive. Knowing what I know now about alcoholic family dynamics, I realize he is panicking trying to keep peace. Everything has to be perfect so "daddy" doesn't get more angry.
He then starts in on me about beets. I kid you not. Beets. Long story short. Yellow beets oxidize quickly turning a grayish color. I threw out the old gray beets, about 1/2 a cup and replaced them with fresh bright new ones. This causes a huge fit that was of course panic driven. You really have to see this guy running around, snapping at people, trying to fold towels anything that he thinks will set off a man already drunk and belligerent.
He's 35 and has been working for the boss since he was 15. Has never worked for anyone else in his life and is from El Salvador with ok'ish language skills. So this is not a normal employee/employer thing.
He says he's tired of this and at 5:30 for me to go home! I said "dude, let's not drag it out" and walked. My last day was tomorrow anyway, but I wanted to leave in good peace. I wrote the owners wife a text telling her what happened. She wished me well and was sorry it ended that way and had she been there it wouldn't have happened. That's as well as maybe.
I simply will not tolerate being in that toxic of an atmosphere. I have watched talented hard working people leave for other venues because of the abusive nature of the owner and his protégée . They liked the food, the pay, the hours and the co workers. That should be heaven. But this boss comes roaring through like the Looney Toones Tasmanian Devil cartoon character and it all goes to hades. I'm going to the gym to salvage my evening. Sigh.
I came in peace and wanted to leave in peace, but that was not to happen. Boss is drunk again and comes in yelling at the servers. The lead chef goes into hyper mode which means all over the place, not thinking, panicking and being abusive. Knowing what I know now about alcoholic family dynamics, I realize he is panicking trying to keep peace. Everything has to be perfect so "daddy" doesn't get more angry.
He then starts in on me about beets. I kid you not. Beets. Long story short. Yellow beets oxidize quickly turning a grayish color. I threw out the old gray beets, about 1/2 a cup and replaced them with fresh bright new ones. This causes a huge fit that was of course panic driven. You really have to see this guy running around, snapping at people, trying to fold towels anything that he thinks will set off a man already drunk and belligerent.
He's 35 and has been working for the boss since he was 15. Has never worked for anyone else in his life and is from El Salvador with ok'ish language skills. So this is not a normal employee/employer thing.
He says he's tired of this and at 5:30 for me to go home! I said "dude, let's not drag it out" and walked. My last day was tomorrow anyway, but I wanted to leave in good peace. I wrote the owners wife a text telling her what happened. She wished me well and was sorry it ended that way and had she been there it wouldn't have happened. That's as well as maybe.
I simply will not tolerate being in that toxic of an atmosphere. I have watched talented hard working people leave for other venues because of the abusive nature of the owner and his protégée . They liked the food, the pay, the hours and the co workers. That should be heaven. But this boss comes roaring through like the Looney Toones Tasmanian Devil cartoon character and it all goes to hades. I'm going to the gym to salvage my evening. Sigh.
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
I'm sorry, iG, sucks to have your last day go that way. At least you have the new job to look forward to. I can't say I blame you a bit.
My guess is that you haven't burned any bridges. You said that the boss feels remorse when he sobers up. I doubt he will torpedo your future.
Hugs, have a good night and soon this mess will be behind you.
My guess is that you haven't burned any bridges. You said that the boss feels remorse when he sobers up. I doubt he will torpedo your future.
Hugs, have a good night and soon this mess will be behind you.
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Join Date: May 2015
Location: New York
Posts: 165
Thanks. I'm giving the gym a skip. My head is killing me. I'm sure he won't torpedo me. He has a rep, so it will be a consider the source type thing if he does cut me down. I've been talking to some of the people that escaped before me and they're being super supportive and are happy I'm gone. Think I'm just going to get some dinner and watch dr who. It's a wild life I lead! Lol!
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
the only two jobs I ever walked out on were restaurant jobs....one back of the house, one front of the house. when I showed up in a sleeveless shift dress, that I had worn before and was NOT at all revealing ( I was the bartender which is a bit ironic), and the Italian boss's wife told me I was not dressed appropriately (mind you it was like 85 degrees outside and as I left my apt my BF and other neighbors were in the POOL) I said ok.....left, went home and changed into something APPROPRIATE.....aka a swim suit and went and hopped in the pool!!!
2nd time was when I was lead broiler cook and they brought in this fresh out of school business manager to try and run the kitchen. didn't go so well. he was an idiot and I finally walked off the line, took off my apron and clocked out.
2nd time was when I was lead broiler cook and they brought in this fresh out of school business manager to try and run the kitchen. didn't go so well. he was an idiot and I finally walked off the line, took off my apron and clocked out.
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
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What is it w/jobs in the food biz, it seems to be the norm to have a boss who is nuts, incompetent or both...
Well, you are OUT at least, so *****! Hope you're feeling better, and I can't wait to hear how things go at the new job.
Well, you are OUT at least, so *****! Hope you're feeling better, and I can't wait to hear how things go at the new job.
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Join Date: May 2015
Location: New York
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Oh, AnvilH, you sooooo get it!! I have worked with and FOR 2 heroine addicts, one coke head, countless alcoholics and weed heads. Some of the biggest weed dealers were dishwashers. For those of us who are "sober" there's monster, red bull and espresso. It's sick. How we function at all is crazy. Julia Child and Graham Kerr were alcoholics. Anthony Bourdain and Andrew Zimmerman were heroine addicts. Look at the top 100 chefs in the world and you're looking at an AA /NA meeting waiting to happen.
Two nights ago the boss comes in wasted and decides he needs to save payroll and wants me cut at 9 rather than 11. Nine rolls around and I look at chef and say "ok, I'm out." Chef says "no, stay. He won't even remember". I can't work like that.
Restaurants are high stress in the best of times. The culture is about speed. You have to get people in and out quickly to turn the tables. That is to say get party A fed and out the door so that you can seat party B. Servers live on tips, chefs build a rep on how fast they can cook as well as creativity. Dishes are timed on how fast they can be prepared. For example a salad is a -1 min "pick up" so, really fast to make. A rare steak about a five min pick up.
Staff use drugs to pump themselves up and drugs to bring it back down. The ex and I would literally be wide awake eating dinner at 1am like it was normal. And in that life, it is. That's why we tend to date within the industry. Then there's the "shift drink". Towards the end of the night the bartender pops their head in the kitchen and yells, who wants a drink?! Then the beer, wine and shots start coming.
The ex would grab the beer and weed ( usually smoked in the parking lot with the servers and line cooks) or he'd never fall asleep. Did I mention that he was the manager? I actually found a grant for people who wanted to start a rehab especially for people in the restaurant industry. That's how wide spread it is. The ex had job training in rehab because he can't go back to that industry.
I'm starting to look at ways to work my way out too. I'm getting too old for this crap.
Two nights ago the boss comes in wasted and decides he needs to save payroll and wants me cut at 9 rather than 11. Nine rolls around and I look at chef and say "ok, I'm out." Chef says "no, stay. He won't even remember". I can't work like that.
Restaurants are high stress in the best of times. The culture is about speed. You have to get people in and out quickly to turn the tables. That is to say get party A fed and out the door so that you can seat party B. Servers live on tips, chefs build a rep on how fast they can cook as well as creativity. Dishes are timed on how fast they can be prepared. For example a salad is a -1 min "pick up" so, really fast to make. A rare steak about a five min pick up.
Staff use drugs to pump themselves up and drugs to bring it back down. The ex and I would literally be wide awake eating dinner at 1am like it was normal. And in that life, it is. That's why we tend to date within the industry. Then there's the "shift drink". Towards the end of the night the bartender pops their head in the kitchen and yells, who wants a drink?! Then the beer, wine and shots start coming.
The ex would grab the beer and weed ( usually smoked in the parking lot with the servers and line cooks) or he'd never fall asleep. Did I mention that he was the manager? I actually found a grant for people who wanted to start a rehab especially for people in the restaurant industry. That's how wide spread it is. The ex had job training in rehab because he can't go back to that industry.
I'm starting to look at ways to work my way out too. I'm getting too old for this crap.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
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iGirl66.....you write very well.....are interesting and easy to follow.....
Why don't you write a book about life in the restaurant industry.....??
A couple of college-age nannies wrote about being nannies to the super-rich in NYC.....it became a big seller and there was even a movie made from the book. Neither were "writers".........
Anthony Bourdaine.....Really?? I am going to have to look into that......
About your recently exited job.....I think that when abuse and criminal activity are a part of the work place.....all the usual "rules" can go out the window....!! (no guilt).
dandylion
Why don't you write a book about life in the restaurant industry.....??
A couple of college-age nannies wrote about being nannies to the super-rich in NYC.....it became a big seller and there was even a movie made from the book. Neither were "writers".........
Anthony Bourdaine.....Really?? I am going to have to look into that......
About your recently exited job.....I think that when abuse and criminal activity are a part of the work place.....all the usual "rules" can go out the window....!! (no guilt).
dandylion
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
IGirl666.....I used to think that Gordon Ramasy was a nut case---but, I now know that he is considered somewhat the norm.....(wow, who knew).
I have learned that he is a real pisser in his private life, as well....
dandylion
Igirl.....you have got me going this mornin'........LOL!
I have learned that he is a real pisser in his private life, as well....
dandylion
Igirl.....you have got me going this mornin'........LOL!
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Originally Posted by dandylion 
IGirl666.....I used to think that Gordon Ramasy was a nut case---but, I now know that he is considered somewhat the norm.....(wow, who knew).
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I worked in restaurants for 22 years. In the beginning it was me and the party.
After I got sober the first time in 1989, it was then just a job. Same crazy personalities, but at least it's entertaining. I still prefer the pressure and speed over the insane boredom of an office job. Ten hours fly by in a restaurant. I was front of house, though - so at least the cast of characters is rotating. I just ignored managers I didn't respect. Let them rant, go about my day.
After I got sober the first time in 1989, it was then just a job. Same crazy personalities, but at least it's entertaining. I still prefer the pressure and speed over the insane boredom of an office job. Ten hours fly by in a restaurant. I was front of house, though - so at least the cast of characters is rotating. I just ignored managers I didn't respect. Let them rant, go about my day.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,792
Good for you.... I did the same thing. I gave notice my my last boss and he started to scream at me as I was telling him the reason I quit was because all he did was scream. He didn't get it.
I ended up getting a job at a church, so I feel I went from hell to heaven!!
I ended up getting a job at a church, so I feel I went from hell to heaven!!
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Originally Posted by iGirl66
i start my new job on Tuesday! Which is good because I just walked out on the old one right before dinner! I have worked steadily since I was 16 years old. I have never in my life walked out of a job! Ever! And this right before dinner service on a Saturday night. That's is tantamount to high treason. I'd already given notice, so it's not technically job abandonment. I think. Not proud of myself at all. Just couldn't detach and I'd started to get good at it. .
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Join Date: May 2015
Location: New York
Posts: 165
You guys are a hoot! The new job is a restaurant that I worked in last summer. So I know the standards. Their are addicts, but they are kept in check. No getting wasted in the parking lot, if you look high, you go home.
Bimini- I get what you mean about the pace. 2 hours in a cubicle and I'd be out on the ledge. I loved my museum jobs because I'm a history geek and could climb around in store rooms. But they don't pay as much and are hard to get.
Jillian! That is hilarious! That guy was/is and shall always be the king of quitting! He just did what we can only dream of.
I may just write a book on this!!! Maybe do some vids. Perhaps there is a new career path ahead!
Bimini- I get what you mean about the pace. 2 hours in a cubicle and I'd be out on the ledge. I loved my museum jobs because I'm a history geek and could climb around in store rooms. But they don't pay as much and are hard to get.
Jillian! That is hilarious! That guy was/is and shall always be the king of quitting! He just did what we can only dream of.
I may just write a book on this!!! Maybe do some vids. Perhaps there is a new career path ahead!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Location: New York
Posts: 165
Yeah, Gordon has set the low bar for bad behavior. The sad part is that this has become acceptable. Mostly because most kitchen staff are males in their 20's to early 30's. Testosterone rules the day. It's like a high school. The nice kids are the pastry chefs, the snobs are the sommeliers. Line cooks are the knuckle dragging jocks. The chefs and sous chefs are the popular football players and cheerleaders. The garde manger are the artsy- fartsy kids. It's just that 20% or more are active addicts at any given time.
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Originally Posted by iGirl66
Yeah, Gordon has set the low bar for bad behavior. The sad part is that this has become acceptable. Mostly because most kitchen staff are males in their 20's to early 30's. Testosterone rules the day. It's like a high school. The nice kids are the pastry chefs, the snobs are the sommeliers. Line cooks are the knuckle dragging jocks. The chefs and sous chefs are the popular football players and cheerleaders. The garde manger are the artsy- fartsy kids. It's just that 20% or more are active addicts at any given time.
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Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Holyoke, MA
Posts: 156
OMG!! My first job ever was at a restaurant!! First I bussed tables and then did the takeout window. Ok, so being at the takeout window, I had to make salads for the restaurant. One day, the owner comes in and she looks in the trash. She then proceeds to take a head of lettuce out that I threw out because it was near the end and it was all brown and nasty. She then tells me I need to wash it off and make more salads with it!!! She yelled at me so badly that I balled my eyes out. Everyone came over (family owned) and tried to console me. Up until today, that was the only job that's EVER happened at!! I definitely feel you on this one!! Congrats on your new gig! I hope you like it!!
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