I've been that crazy wife
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,281
I've been that crazy wife
I've been that crazy wife. There's more to alcoholism than the alcohol, and though I don't drink it doesn't mean I don't have my share of mental illness that effects my thinking and behaviors at times.
I recently lost it. Thanks to my ongoing recovery and awareness I'm gaining, I know what preluded and contributed to that recent breakdown, but even knowing how & what didn't stop the emotional & physical mess I was. I was crying, ranting, wanting to be left alone and not talk about it in that moment. The crazier my actions, the more calm, collected & patient my husband seemed to be. Yet I could see things he couldn't of the mess we were entangled in. I could see dysfunction in his words and actions, too. It wasn't just me. It was an unhealthy dance we were in.
I learned several things that day. Whether he did or not doesn't matter so much, because I'm only able to work on my own recovery. With understanding and patience for myself, my own thoughts and behaviors are changing.
I'm gaining respect for myself and others, including those with mental illness, health problems, relationship problems, etc. I don't need to solve anything, or judge anyone.
On that recent day, a complete stranger asked if I was okay, gave me a hug and said "Whatever you're going through, this too will pass." No judgement, just kindness and compassion.
To her, and to each of you as we learn, grow and heal, thank you.
I recently lost it. Thanks to my ongoing recovery and awareness I'm gaining, I know what preluded and contributed to that recent breakdown, but even knowing how & what didn't stop the emotional & physical mess I was. I was crying, ranting, wanting to be left alone and not talk about it in that moment. The crazier my actions, the more calm, collected & patient my husband seemed to be. Yet I could see things he couldn't of the mess we were entangled in. I could see dysfunction in his words and actions, too. It wasn't just me. It was an unhealthy dance we were in.
I learned several things that day. Whether he did or not doesn't matter so much, because I'm only able to work on my own recovery. With understanding and patience for myself, my own thoughts and behaviors are changing.
I'm gaining respect for myself and others, including those with mental illness, health problems, relationship problems, etc. I don't need to solve anything, or judge anyone.
On that recent day, a complete stranger asked if I was okay, gave me a hug and said "Whatever you're going through, this too will pass." No judgement, just kindness and compassion.
To her, and to each of you as we learn, grow and heal, thank you.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
I'm so sorry, keepingthefaith, and yes, this too shall pass. I've been on the receiving end of simple kindnesses from strangers, too. It really lifted my heart when needed.
I hope that you have many bright days ahead.
I hope that you have many bright days ahead.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Oh wow, I usto be crazy wife sometimes. And I was crazy X wife one day about 6 months ago. It's not something I am proud of, but it is what it is, and it did pass.
Isn't it amazing what a difference a stranger can make? Kindness paid forward can really change your life, on the giving or the receiving end.
Hang in there sweetie. Thanks for sharing!
Isn't it amazing what a difference a stranger can make? Kindness paid forward can really change your life, on the giving or the receiving end.
Hang in there sweetie. Thanks for sharing!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 982
On that recent day, a complete stranger asked if I was okay, gave me a hug and said "Whatever you're going through, this too will pass." No judgement, just kindness and compassion.
(((((keepingthefaith)))))
That gave me the chills
Little things like that mean so much.... just when you need them.
I was a little bit of a crazy wife yesterday too..... but today is a new day.
(((((keepingthefaith)))))
That gave me the chills
Little things like that mean so much.... just when you need them.
I was a little bit of a crazy wife yesterday too..... but today is a new day.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Haven't we all been crazy at some time or another..? LOL!
To my own observation.....whenever I or someone else is at the point of being crazy.....it is when we are trying to fight against something that is also crazy---that is not right---that shouldn't be---and we are trying desperately to make it right; to hold on....
This is just my own private observations across time....
dandylion
To my own observation.....whenever I or someone else is at the point of being crazy.....it is when we are trying to fight against something that is also crazy---that is not right---that shouldn't be---and we are trying desperately to make it right; to hold on....
This is just my own private observations across time....
dandylion
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 50
My exabf drove me totally crazy. I couldn't un leash the crazy in front of him because I was scared of him, so I'd usually just sit in my car hysterically crying. There were many times I wanted to run it into a telephone pole, not to kill myself, but to be able to show him how much he was hurting me. How's that for codie? It actually seems funny to me now because he never would have seen how much he hurt me no matter what lengths I went to to show him.
In my case, I was much more susceptible to going crazy when I was hormonal. XABF on a binge and me PMSing was a perfect storm for a breakdown.
And yes, "This too shall pass." My grandmother who was married to an abusive alcoholic always used to say that me.
In my case, I was much more susceptible to going crazy when I was hormonal. XABF on a binge and me PMSing was a perfect storm for a breakdown.
And yes, "This too shall pass." My grandmother who was married to an abusive alcoholic always used to say that me.
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